This Love, This Hate.
I deserve better. Period. End of story. I've been doing a lot of thinking in between my busyness lately. I've come to the realization what an amazing person I am in so many different respects. How so you may question? I am 20 years young and already only a semester away from obtaining my bachelors degree. I intend to attend graduate school to receive a masters degree in communication. When I am 22 I will have not only a bachelors degree I will also have a masters degree. If I continued by 24 I could have a PHd. How many people that young do you know of that have those sorts degrees? Not too many. I also am currently the Vice President of the Communication Society and I adore getting involved with my major. I actually am interested in learning and feel as though I can never obtain enough knowledge. This means I (for the most part) love school. Right now I'm pretty much working two jobs if you will. One is as an actress. It has always been a passion of mine to act and I've been doing it my entire life. I try desperately to find jobs in Chicago for acting and have found quite a few. Not only am I doing that I am also working part time at Bath and Body Works. Why am I doing all this working? I will admit I love the acting, but I keep the other job because I am paying for my own education. I also don't believe in making my parents pay for every little thing. I am independent and find joy in being able to buy things on my own. It makes you value the item so much more because you had to work hard to get it. I'm also in the process of trying to get an internship for a major news station. I really am interested in a career in that field. It's one of my main goals and hops for myself in the future. I'm also in the process of writing a novel. Yes, full blown novel. I'm already around 50 or so pages and hope to add another 400 to that number. Finally, I try to help others who are going through the same struggles as I did. I have dealt with a bunch of horrible events that shouldn't happen to someone so young. I'm not about to share every single one. A lot of them happened years ago and I don't feel comfortable talking about them. My mom last year was diagnosed with stage 3b cancer and it put a lot into perspective for me. I realized how precious life was and how much I take for granted on a daily basis. Because I know how much some people have to go through worrying about their weight, their image, bad men.., losing people, and having to deal with sick parents I feel that I can help them see that they are not alone. That they will only become stronger and someday things will get better no matter how horrible things may seem. So I try to help teenagers dealing with the same things I've already been through and grown from.
Those are just a few of my many successes that I've achieved at this young age. I hope to go so much further in my life and I know that because of how dedicated and motivated I am I will. I know that I have the ability to change this world even if it is in a tiny little way. Helping others and doing something to inspire change may not mean much to the entire world, a city, or even a little town, but to a few people it could mean the entire world. I'm not trying to sound like a self centered, narcissistic individual. I just know that what I have done is extremely credible for someone my age. I honestly am selfishly selfless. I care more about helping others and catering then others then taking care of my own emotions. I realize that this needs to stop and I need to value myself more. I am worth a ton and I'm starting to realize that.
I should be the one who is catered to some of the time. I should be the one who's being loved and chased after. Not the opposite way around. I should not have to deal with being insulted and belittled for who I am because I am one of the most sweet people to exist in this world. It makes me sick to see how many idiotic jerks get more than the sweet ones in life. I'm no twig. I understand that a lot of men find it attractive to have boney girls. I have meat on my body, but just because I am a little bit overweight does not make me any less beautiful. I am beautiful and a lot of people have been reminding me of that lately. So I am beautiful, successful, loyal, honest, sweet, intelligent, and hardworking. How much better can someone get?
I am done dealing with anything less then I deserve. I will wait until I get something I deserve. I will wait till a guy sweeps me off my feet and gets me something special and does special things for me. I deserve that much for everything I've gone through in life and all I've done. I'm done with these petty things. I'm done with people (men specifically) for making me feel like I am not worth it. For making me feel like I'm not good enough and never will be good enough. I am good enough. I am better then most girls you will meet. So please be my guest. Have fun with your STD ridden whores. Enjoy your life of being cheated on and hurt by someone who can't even spell properly. For someone you can never have an intellectual conversation with.
I am worth it. I do deserve it. I am done with anything less.
I truly mean that and I am for once one of the happiest girls in the world. I respect myself and when you have love and respect for yourself that's all you really need to maintain happiness. I know people love me. My friends and family are always by my side no matter what. They are proud of what I do. I will continue to make them pride and make myself proud.
<3
Lexy
Those are just a few of my many successes that I've achieved at this young age. I hope to go so much further in my life and I know that because of how dedicated and motivated I am I will. I know that I have the ability to change this world even if it is in a tiny little way. Helping others and doing something to inspire change may not mean much to the entire world, a city, or even a little town, but to a few people it could mean the entire world. I'm not trying to sound like a self centered, narcissistic individual. I just know that what I have done is extremely credible for someone my age. I honestly am selfishly selfless. I care more about helping others and catering then others then taking care of my own emotions. I realize that this needs to stop and I need to value myself more. I am worth a ton and I'm starting to realize that.
I should be the one who is catered to some of the time. I should be the one who's being loved and chased after. Not the opposite way around. I should not have to deal with being insulted and belittled for who I am because I am one of the most sweet people to exist in this world. It makes me sick to see how many idiotic jerks get more than the sweet ones in life. I'm no twig. I understand that a lot of men find it attractive to have boney girls. I have meat on my body, but just because I am a little bit overweight does not make me any less beautiful. I am beautiful and a lot of people have been reminding me of that lately. So I am beautiful, successful, loyal, honest, sweet, intelligent, and hardworking. How much better can someone get?
I am done dealing with anything less then I deserve. I will wait until I get something I deserve. I will wait till a guy sweeps me off my feet and gets me something special and does special things for me. I deserve that much for everything I've gone through in life and all I've done. I'm done with these petty things. I'm done with people (men specifically) for making me feel like I am not worth it. For making me feel like I'm not good enough and never will be good enough. I am good enough. I am better then most girls you will meet. So please be my guest. Have fun with your STD ridden whores. Enjoy your life of being cheated on and hurt by someone who can't even spell properly. For someone you can never have an intellectual conversation with.
I am worth it. I do deserve it. I am done with anything less.
I truly mean that and I am for once one of the happiest girls in the world. I respect myself and when you have love and respect for yourself that's all you really need to maintain happiness. I know people love me. My friends and family are always by my side no matter what. They are proud of what I do. I will continue to make them pride and make myself proud.
<3
Lexy