Drama-proof
"Drama-rama
what's your Trauma?"*
Over the years, many people have asked me how I seem to be able to avoid Drama so well. Ultimately and most succinctly, my "secret" is that "I simply don't put up with Drama." If the potential Drama (and see, there a key! nip it in the bud before it fully blossoms in 100% Technicolor!) involves me, I rectify the situation as quickly as possible, and I seem to have a pretty damn good record at avoiding personal Drama. As far as Drama between others goes--if it doesn't involve me, I don't involve myself. I don't engage in it in any form, unless the individuals in question specifically come and ask me for advice, help, or assistance. I am always very clear that I will not take sides against people I love. I realize people can behave horribly, but I don't see how taking sides helps anyone in any productive manner. That's why they call me "Sweden"--always Neutral and uninvolved.
Many people have tried (unsuccessfully) to get me to take sides--read, "play their overly dramatic and draining emotional-territorial games"--but I just refuse to engage, often Laughing it off. I see many of the Drama Plays that wee humans engage in to be somewhat entertaining, if a bit sad--which is why I try and stay near enough to be able to reach out a helping hand for when the Games become overwhelming and the participants get in over their heads. The key--really--is to stay uninvolved and give people their space to Walk their own Path. I enjoy being able to help others, but I refuse to in any way "force" my help upon others, which is another key. I think that more problems arise from outsiders trying to interfere with individuals' Lives, than there are original problems that need solving.
"Help--unasked for--is Interference."
To sum it all up, then, I'd say that the key in staying Drama-proof is not in "not caring" so much as "eliminating Attachment" and all of our petty Egoistic Expectations from the situation.
As I was typing this, Eris reminded me of one of my favorite--and concise--stories. I think it speaks volumes:
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A SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE
One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES?
"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"
WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.
"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
"But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it."
OH. WELL, THEN STOP.
At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.
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Hail Eris, Bitches.
* This is a little Drama Banishing Mantra I've developed over the years, and has nothing to do with the 80's band Dramarama. I needed a few extra syllables at the end of the first line to make it sound right, and that's what stuck.
what's your Trauma?"*
Over the years, many people have asked me how I seem to be able to avoid Drama so well. Ultimately and most succinctly, my "secret" is that "I simply don't put up with Drama." If the potential Drama (and see, there a key! nip it in the bud before it fully blossoms in 100% Technicolor!) involves me, I rectify the situation as quickly as possible, and I seem to have a pretty damn good record at avoiding personal Drama. As far as Drama between others goes--if it doesn't involve me, I don't involve myself. I don't engage in it in any form, unless the individuals in question specifically come and ask me for advice, help, or assistance. I am always very clear that I will not take sides against people I love. I realize people can behave horribly, but I don't see how taking sides helps anyone in any productive manner. That's why they call me "Sweden"--always Neutral and uninvolved.
Many people have tried (unsuccessfully) to get me to take sides--read, "play their overly dramatic and draining emotional-territorial games"--but I just refuse to engage, often Laughing it off. I see many of the Drama Plays that wee humans engage in to be somewhat entertaining, if a bit sad--which is why I try and stay near enough to be able to reach out a helping hand for when the Games become overwhelming and the participants get in over their heads. The key--really--is to stay uninvolved and give people their space to Walk their own Path. I enjoy being able to help others, but I refuse to in any way "force" my help upon others, which is another key. I think that more problems arise from outsiders trying to interfere with individuals' Lives, than there are original problems that need solving.
"Help--unasked for--is Interference."
To sum it all up, then, I'd say that the key in staying Drama-proof is not in "not caring" so much as "eliminating Attachment" and all of our petty Egoistic Expectations from the situation.
As I was typing this, Eris reminded me of one of my favorite--and concise--stories. I think it speaks volumes:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
A SERMON ON ETHICS AND LOVE
One day Mal-2 asked the messenger spirit Saint Gulik to approach the Goddess and request Her presence for some desperate advice. Shortly afterwards the radio came on by itself, and an ethereal female Voice said YES?
"O! Eris! Blessed Mother of Man! Queen of Chaos! Daughter of Discord! Concubine of Confusion! O! Exquisite Lady, I beseech You to lift a heavy burden from my heart!"
WHAT BOTHERS YOU, MAL? YOU DON'T SOUND WELL.
"I am filled with fear and tormented with terrible visions of pain. Everywhere people are hurting one another, the planet is rampant with injustices, whole societies plunder groups of their own people, mothers imprison sons, children perish while brothers war. O, woe."
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH THAT, IF IT IS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO?
"But nobody wants it! Everybody hates it."
OH. WELL, THEN STOP.
At which moment She turned herself into an aspirin commercial and left The Polyfather stranded alone with his species.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hail Eris, Bitches.
* This is a little Drama Banishing Mantra I've developed over the years, and has nothing to do with the 80's band Dramarama. I needed a few extra syllables at the end of the first line to make it sound right, and that's what stuck.