Someday we'll know why the sky is blue.

[xhendrix24]

I am weird.

I do weird things. And I think weird things.

I really hope that there isn't anyone who knows what I'm doing and thinking at all times. The thought of that kind of freaks me out.

Hell, I don't even advertise this damn livejournal.

And yet I still write in it.

People say that you'll die faster than without water.

But we know it's just a lie - scare your son, scare your daughter.

Sometimes I feel like I'm toeing the line between sanity and insanity. Like I've started slipping over the edge.

I need something to hang on to.

Sometimes I get to thinking how long it'll last.

How long I'll last. Living this way.

I don't know.

I'm sure a time will come when it's all going to end. I just don't know when that time will be.

I'm sorry anybody dies at all these days.

Everything's a mystery right now.

I don't know anything at all.

I wish everyone would get out of this fucking house for a while. Just for a few days.

So I could be alone.

For once.

God damnit.

I can't even hardly remember what life was like back in the "good old days."

Were there ever really "good old days"?

I don't know. I can't get myself to remember.

I've felt so empty for so long now.

I'm hollow.

I'm meat.

I'm nothing.

I tend to think of people in extremes.

I either hardly think anything of them, or I build them up to a point where the person that I've built can't be real.

And then I watch as it all burns to the ground.

Again.

And again.

And again.

It's not any of their faults, really.

When it comes down to it, I've only got myself to blame.

I am everything that I have.

I am everything and I am nothing.

To me.

Me, me, me.

I don't think much of myself.

I figure my job on earth is to stay out of everyone's way while they live their lives.

To keep to myself. To try and not fuck everything up too badly.

Maybe to help a few people out along the way.

While they live and laugh and love.

If I ever hurt you, it will be in self defense.

You snake.

I have scattered thoughts a lot. Trouble focusing.

Trouble acting.

Trouble playing my part. My role.

I usually try to avoid these entries.

They depress people.

But I think this one was a bit overdue.

I don't know.

Sing it.

It's the refrain. The chorus.

The part of the song that keeps coming back. Again and again.

No matter what you do.

I don't know what to do.

I just don't know.

I'm afraid of the water.

I'm afraid of the sky.

I'm tired of waiting.

I do this to myself.