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Hey there~!
Got several updates!
First of all, if you are local, FUNimation is one of the sponsors for a Mini anime convention here in Flowermound this Saturday at our Public Library. I will be there for a short Q and A as well as some other members of the industy. I think it will be a lot of fun~!
Second, I got approved for my apartment and will be moving in a few weeks! The apartment is perfect. Perfect amount of space, right for my budget, safe, clean, got the best ratings out of all the places I looked at, close to home, closer to school, and about the same distance that I already am (which was close) to work. I got very lucky with this selection. I'm ver excited, but I'm also nervous, and its starting to hit me that I'm really moving out and I admit, I've cried a little. I've lived away from home before, but it was 6 hours away in a dorm. I keep telling myself that if I can do that, I can do anything. I guess I'm just nervous because I'm paying for this apartment myself and so there's a lot more responsibility. Its also sort of the symbolism of it all...I'm growing up, and that's scary.
I was thinking about it today actually...I miss being a kid, but at the same time, I'm not sure I would want to BE a kid again. I like being able to drive, to stay out late, see people when I want to see them, have certain responsibilities. I like being able to express myself in more mature ways, I love my job, I love being able to make more choices and being able to think more for myself. But I miss the simplicity of childhood. I miss not having to remember so many things, not having to learn about money responsibilities. I miss not being able to understand politics or understand whats happening to this country. I miss not being affected by social pressures.
In short. There are many things I enjoy about being older (I dont like referring to myself as an adult lol), but there are many things I miss about being little. The future scares me. The truth is, I dont want to grow up. Its morbid, and silly to most people, but it always makes me think of death. The words "growing up" partially mean death to me. Death of childhood. Death of your heart, if you arent careful. Death of a safety net. Death of innocence. One step closer to having to deal with the Death of loved ones, both literally and figuritively. Those things scare me a lot...But I try to remember that it also means birth. Birth of freedom. Birth of new experiances. Birth of knowledge. Birth of new loved ones.
Its funny. They say that this is when life starts; when you are no longer a child. But part of me also feels like this is where life ends. At least, the life you knew before. Its not a bad thing, its just different and scary. Make that terrifying. Even so, I take it as a good sign that I'm scared. I have been raised in a good family. One I am very close to. One that has nurtured me and given me a life of experiances already that most people dont get to have in their whole lifetime. I have grown up in comfort, in safety, and surrounded by love. If I wasn't this scared, I think it would be a negative reflection on my life with my family up til now because it would mean that I couldnt wait to get away from them. But I love my family very much and that's why I'm scared lol.
Wow. I hadnt intended to go into all of that, but there you go lol. I'm sure everything will be fine. I have a tendancy to make myself ill with worry over things of all types and then when they actually happen, they are fine. I just think myself into oblivion and it comes back to bite me lol. Just a bad habit I am trying to work on @_@.
Got several updates!
First of all, if you are local, FUNimation is one of the sponsors for a Mini anime convention here in Flowermound this Saturday at our Public Library. I will be there for a short Q and A as well as some other members of the industy. I think it will be a lot of fun~!
Second, I got approved for my apartment and will be moving in a few weeks! The apartment is perfect. Perfect amount of space, right for my budget, safe, clean, got the best ratings out of all the places I looked at, close to home, closer to school, and about the same distance that I already am (which was close) to work. I got very lucky with this selection. I'm ver excited, but I'm also nervous, and its starting to hit me that I'm really moving out and I admit, I've cried a little. I've lived away from home before, but it was 6 hours away in a dorm. I keep telling myself that if I can do that, I can do anything. I guess I'm just nervous because I'm paying for this apartment myself and so there's a lot more responsibility. Its also sort of the symbolism of it all...I'm growing up, and that's scary.
I was thinking about it today actually...I miss being a kid, but at the same time, I'm not sure I would want to BE a kid again. I like being able to drive, to stay out late, see people when I want to see them, have certain responsibilities. I like being able to express myself in more mature ways, I love my job, I love being able to make more choices and being able to think more for myself. But I miss the simplicity of childhood. I miss not having to remember so many things, not having to learn about money responsibilities. I miss not being able to understand politics or understand whats happening to this country. I miss not being affected by social pressures.
In short. There are many things I enjoy about being older (I dont like referring to myself as an adult lol), but there are many things I miss about being little. The future scares me. The truth is, I dont want to grow up. Its morbid, and silly to most people, but it always makes me think of death. The words "growing up" partially mean death to me. Death of childhood. Death of your heart, if you arent careful. Death of a safety net. Death of innocence. One step closer to having to deal with the Death of loved ones, both literally and figuritively. Those things scare me a lot...But I try to remember that it also means birth. Birth of freedom. Birth of new experiances. Birth of knowledge. Birth of new loved ones.
Its funny. They say that this is when life starts; when you are no longer a child. But part of me also feels like this is where life ends. At least, the life you knew before. Its not a bad thing, its just different and scary. Make that terrifying. Even so, I take it as a good sign that I'm scared. I have been raised in a good family. One I am very close to. One that has nurtured me and given me a life of experiances already that most people dont get to have in their whole lifetime. I have grown up in comfort, in safety, and surrounded by love. If I wasn't this scared, I think it would be a negative reflection on my life with my family up til now because it would mean that I couldnt wait to get away from them. But I love my family very much and that's why I'm scared lol.
Wow. I hadnt intended to go into all of that, but there you go lol. I'm sure everything will be fine. I have a tendancy to make myself ill with worry over things of all types and then when they actually happen, they are fine. I just think myself into oblivion and it comes back to bite me lol. Just a bad habit I am trying to work on @_@.