won't things ever look up?
I can't take it anymore. I hate being so sad all the time. I actually forget what real happiness feels like. I can't seem to make anything go right. I sit by myself all day. No one really talks to me anymore. I havn't spoken with my best friend in a week, maybe more. And when I try to talk to her or acknowledge her in the hallways I get ignored. I don't know what I did, if shes mad, or what. It feels crappy. I feel left out of every convorsation. I sit there and listen to things that I wasn't there for. Even if I was I'm forced to laugh when everyone else does just to seem normal and feel a part of whats going on. Deep down I know I'm not. I snap or get snaped at constantly. I've been sad for weeks and have finally stopped faking. Susie and Sean are the only ones who have noticed. I lied to Sean and told him I was okay. I couldn't lie to Susie because I was obviously upset at nothing. I just told her I didn't feel good and havn't for quite some time. I don't know whats wrong. I was invited to see the Shins with Maggie and a few others. It was nice to feel included for once. I even convinced my parnets to let me go on a school night. One night too late. They had tickets yesterday when I asked. They needed to think. They said yes. But the world said no. SOLD OUT. bye guys, have fun without me like you usually do.
I felt good today. But I feel as if it was fake because Sean and I took Adarol. It was lovely. I could actually focus, and write again, and I was happy. Now look at me, my eyes are barely open they are so swollen from crying. I need help.
As if the issues never seem to cease. PROM!! fuck. date attempt #1 I asked Scott. I told no one. He was a dick about it. We'll drop it there. Date attempt #2 Matt- Mary got there first :( Date attempt #3 bryan- too bad Villa's dance is the same as ours. Where the hell did all of my boys go? I used to have so many. Drugs and other schools take people away. I don't even know them anymore. I am out of ideas. I'd regret taking Sage or Jim. FUUUUUUUUCK.
I just want to break out. I need to get out of this town, its making me sick.
I felt good today. But I feel as if it was fake because Sean and I took Adarol. It was lovely. I could actually focus, and write again, and I was happy. Now look at me, my eyes are barely open they are so swollen from crying. I need help.
As if the issues never seem to cease. PROM!! fuck. date attempt #1 I asked Scott. I told no one. He was a dick about it. We'll drop it there. Date attempt #2 Matt- Mary got there first :( Date attempt #3 bryan- too bad Villa's dance is the same as ours. Where the hell did all of my boys go? I used to have so many. Drugs and other schools take people away. I don't even know them anymore. I am out of ideas. I'd regret taking Sage or Jim. FUUUUUUUUCK.
I just want to break out. I need to get out of this town, its making me sick.