And I don't want the world to see me cause I dont think that theyd understand
I havn't had a day like this in a long time. It sucked so bad. Everything has been getting to me and I just have to smile and nodd like it all okay. My family sucks. My brother is constantly doing things that aggravate the living hell out of me like listening to his music with the volume all the way up and then singing even louder to it. And in case anyone was wondering hes a shitty singer. He also makes snyde remarks at me now and I am half tempted to bitch slap him to put him into place. I fucking hate him. He is a younger stupider version of my dad. Hes another one. Fucking has the nerve to tell me I can't go to fucking In the Light. Any other parent would be thrilled that their kid wants to do something productive like that. They have to beg my brother to go to youth group but I try to attend two and they have a problem with it. The one thing that may have made my day a little better they fucking take away because the roads which arent even icy they think are. Idiots.
Next big issue in my worthless excuse for existance... prom. I can't get a date. I don't really want to take my back-up because lets see well one is too old, thinks I smoke more pot than I do and is telling people I'm his girlfriend when I clearly am not. And the other we went on one date and he scratched me through out the entire movie. I want to go with Matt but Mary is going with him so theres that and Scott will NEVER ask me. He only ever talks to me if he wants to know something about Peterson's class. I have a fucking georgous dress and no one to go with. This is so stressful yet so dumb. Everyone has dates what the fuck is wrong with me. I'm just never aloud to get what I want. I always get stuck with something else. I just want to get asked but truth is I'm gonna end up going with someone because one of my friends will get one of their boys to go with me because they feel bad. I hate that. You know I've only ever been asked to a dance once. ONCE!!! Homecoming Freshman year I went alone, Freshman social I went with Ben by default because he was my boyfriend. Sophmore Homecoming I had to ask Jordan but by the time homecoming came he was my boyfriend. I didn't go to Soph Hop. And Junior homecoming Zac asked me. Why am I so repulsive to boys. Everything I don't want attracts itself to me. Am I supposed to grit my teeth and bear it just so I can get some? I hate my life. I don't even want to go anymore but my dress was $200 and I can't return it.
I just want someone to care about me.
Next big issue in my worthless excuse for existance... prom. I can't get a date. I don't really want to take my back-up because lets see well one is too old, thinks I smoke more pot than I do and is telling people I'm his girlfriend when I clearly am not. And the other we went on one date and he scratched me through out the entire movie. I want to go with Matt but Mary is going with him so theres that and Scott will NEVER ask me. He only ever talks to me if he wants to know something about Peterson's class. I have a fucking georgous dress and no one to go with. This is so stressful yet so dumb. Everyone has dates what the fuck is wrong with me. I'm just never aloud to get what I want. I always get stuck with something else. I just want to get asked but truth is I'm gonna end up going with someone because one of my friends will get one of their boys to go with me because they feel bad. I hate that. You know I've only ever been asked to a dance once. ONCE!!! Homecoming Freshman year I went alone, Freshman social I went with Ben by default because he was my boyfriend. Sophmore Homecoming I had to ask Jordan but by the time homecoming came he was my boyfriend. I didn't go to Soph Hop. And Junior homecoming Zac asked me. Why am I so repulsive to boys. Everything I don't want attracts itself to me. Am I supposed to grit my teeth and bear it just so I can get some? I hate my life. I don't even want to go anymore but my dress was $200 and I can't return it.
I just want someone to care about me.