I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
Tonight I went through a serious emotional breakdown. I was actually afraid of the outcome. For so long I have been holding back saying how I feel, and tonight it finally just leaked out, a lot.
I've always been bothered by my mother's methods of taking care of her children, and the way my sisters and brother treat me. I never really say anything about it, and they all just take advantage, (and if anyone really knows me, they know that is my biggest pet peeve), which pisses me off. For intance, my Myspace. They all always crack jokes about my pictures and rag on me, and its annoying. Then they refer to Kristina as "The Wife", and its all so dragged out to the point where its not funny. Ya know, after like the 100th time of hearing it, you can see where it starts to get annoying.
As for my mother, I understand John is going through a rough time. He is currently getting his whole set of toes on his right foot amputated. However, its one thing for her to be there for him - but there are still 4 people at home depending on her. And, not to sound selfish or like an asshole, but something is always wrong with that guy - and he gets all her free time. I am not jealous or anything, it just gets old trying to figure out what you can do for dinner. Also, I worked my ass off the past 5 months up here, and she doesn't show any interest. She sits and tells me she expects things of me, but never appreciates when I do well. It gets to the point where you figure, why bother doing well, no one cares. Not to say I don't care, but I can only give myself so much credit and support before I turn into a cocky bastid. It is really hard for you to sincerely say to me, "I am proud of you."
I have just been kinda keeping to myself with emotions, and I want to just let them out so they leave me the fuck alone.
Kelley and I are having a phase of fighting. We will fight at least once a day, and really fight at least once a week. Being so close in age sucks, and I feel like I am sharing everything. My room, friends, and my free time. Granted, I love her - but I see her all the time - I am starting to just get sick of her. Its only natural, I see her all day at home, then gym and lunch. Thats a good chunk of my day, all dedicated to Kelley. I just need space. I need my own room is what I need. So, as much as I love Greer, she needs to go so I can have her room and escape for myself when I need - like now.
Aside from tonight, I had a wonderful weekend. Friday night I hung out with Diego, Raffael, Matt, Kayle and Jess. I have not seen Diego in the longest time, and its weird cause this time last year we were inseperable. It was a good night though, I missed him a lot - and I finally got a chance to meet this infamous Kayle. Then yesterday I hung out with Joshie, he came to visit me - we had our story times, cause we do that. It was a good time. Then around 10 Kaileigh called me, she was with Leslie - so we met up and went over this kid Eric's house. It was a night full of laughs. Alls I have to say is, go in the vestibule :).
I missed a boiled dinner with my aunt, uncle, nana and dad today. I didn't mean to, but then I was just not in the mood to see anyone. I just wanna isolate myself for a day. Kristina kidnapped me, and we had a weekend away from each other. We were kinda bitchy to each other at first, but the night went on and it was all good. We chillaxed with Zahariah, Faithy, and my favorite - Dave Digi. Wal*Mart, Wendy's and padiddle. I got my ass kicked later on in the night. But it is fucking on.
I have so much homework right now. Its 12:15. I am tired. I don't wanna do it. But, this is where this entry ends.
Leave me some serious love,
and don't forget...
17 days from now I am going to be 17.
What should I do for my birthday?
Something really fun cause all my other birthday fucking blew.
♥
I've always been bothered by my mother's methods of taking care of her children, and the way my sisters and brother treat me. I never really say anything about it, and they all just take advantage, (and if anyone really knows me, they know that is my biggest pet peeve), which pisses me off. For intance, my Myspace. They all always crack jokes about my pictures and rag on me, and its annoying. Then they refer to Kristina as "The Wife", and its all so dragged out to the point where its not funny. Ya know, after like the 100th time of hearing it, you can see where it starts to get annoying.
As for my mother, I understand John is going through a rough time. He is currently getting his whole set of toes on his right foot amputated. However, its one thing for her to be there for him - but there are still 4 people at home depending on her. And, not to sound selfish or like an asshole, but something is always wrong with that guy - and he gets all her free time. I am not jealous or anything, it just gets old trying to figure out what you can do for dinner. Also, I worked my ass off the past 5 months up here, and she doesn't show any interest. She sits and tells me she expects things of me, but never appreciates when I do well. It gets to the point where you figure, why bother doing well, no one cares. Not to say I don't care, but I can only give myself so much credit and support before I turn into a cocky bastid. It is really hard for you to sincerely say to me, "I am proud of you."
I have just been kinda keeping to myself with emotions, and I want to just let them out so they leave me the fuck alone.
Kelley and I are having a phase of fighting. We will fight at least once a day, and really fight at least once a week. Being so close in age sucks, and I feel like I am sharing everything. My room, friends, and my free time. Granted, I love her - but I see her all the time - I am starting to just get sick of her. Its only natural, I see her all day at home, then gym and lunch. Thats a good chunk of my day, all dedicated to Kelley. I just need space. I need my own room is what I need. So, as much as I love Greer, she needs to go so I can have her room and escape for myself when I need - like now.
Aside from tonight, I had a wonderful weekend. Friday night I hung out with Diego, Raffael, Matt, Kayle and Jess. I have not seen Diego in the longest time, and its weird cause this time last year we were inseperable. It was a good night though, I missed him a lot - and I finally got a chance to meet this infamous Kayle. Then yesterday I hung out with Joshie, he came to visit me - we had our story times, cause we do that. It was a good time. Then around 10 Kaileigh called me, she was with Leslie - so we met up and went over this kid Eric's house. It was a night full of laughs. Alls I have to say is, go in the vestibule :).
I missed a boiled dinner with my aunt, uncle, nana and dad today. I didn't mean to, but then I was just not in the mood to see anyone. I just wanna isolate myself for a day. Kristina kidnapped me, and we had a weekend away from each other. We were kinda bitchy to each other at first, but the night went on and it was all good. We chillaxed with Zahariah, Faithy, and my favorite - Dave Digi. Wal*Mart, Wendy's and padiddle. I got my ass kicked later on in the night. But it is fucking on.
I have so much homework right now. Its 12:15. I am tired. I don't wanna do it. But, this is where this entry ends.
Leave me some serious love,
and don't forget...
17 days from now I am going to be 17.
What should I do for my birthday?
Something really fun cause all my other birthday fucking blew.
♥