I'm left all alone to wonder this place asking, "why?"
Its funny. Life has a way of giving you everything you want and need in life, then slowly takes bits of it away. One day you are all smiles and loving life - then the next you are in tears asking "why?"
I honestly do not understand life. Why can't I just be happy all the time? If I never had to feel this pain ever again, it would be too soon.
How is it that you have been single for two years, and the oppertune moment you get to have a girlfriend, you pull out the bullshit excuses? "I don't know if I want a girlfriend just now." & "I feel like we rushed into things, and I want to get to know you more."
Then, you have the balls to say you want to go back to the "dating phase" of things. I was not even getting that fucking serious. I was just upset I was getting blown off - not being a phsyco girlfriend or anything. I would have been mad if anyone cancelled plans for me after I set a whole night aside for you.
You're the one with the expectations. You expect me to sit at home and wait for you to finish up with your plans so you can "stop by". Sorry bud, no. If I am not going to sit around and wait for you on a Saturday night, what makes you think I am going to want to sit around and wait till you're "ready" for a girlfriend. Tonight is the last night I am waiting for you.
I am so tired of my emotions being thrown into a blender, then thrown back in my face. No one ever takes my feelings into concideration and it pisses me off so much cause I am always looking out for people. If you are good to me, I will bend over backwards for you. And sometimes, I just need to be reminded that people care. Is that too much to ask? I hate selfish people.
If you want to be with that fat whore, by all means - be with her. She is gross and she will never care for you the way I could have.
On a lighter note, last night I went to Taste Of Chaos, with some wonderful people. Some of which include, Kristina, Meghan, Faith, Nevin, Kaileigh, Shannon (& her boyfriend, Mike), Steph, and Alex. I had an awesome time. Greeley was up first, and Kristina and I were so close to Ryan, the lead singer. He came down into the crowd and was singing. He grabbed Kristina and was singing and holding onto her arm. So hot. Then we took a picture with them <3.
I was in the crowd for the first couple songs of Thrice. But right after "Artist in the Ambulance" Kristina almost passed out - so we got out to get her a drink. I was kind of disspointed in their set - but thats all good.
The crowd was kinda weak. I was upset, the crowd is a bunch of idiots. They suck for crowd surfing. I got dropped so many times. Then landed on. I have numerous bruises all over my back. And being dropped on my head was no fun. 3 times I was dropped. Serious pain today.
The past two days I've really realized how much I love and appreciate Kristina. Not that this may seem like a big deal to anyone else, but last night she made sure she had a hold of me at all times. It meant a lot to me, cause I know she cares - and I would have been so scared if I lost her in the crowd. Secondly, tonight she told Kevin (who has been her best friend for 3 years now), that if he was willing to hurt me, then she couldn't be friends with him anymore. And, for her to chose me over him may seem weird cause we've only been friends for a couple months, but I've learned so much about her in that little time, and I would honestly trust her with my life.
Although life can have its shitty days, I still love where I am at this point. I wake up everyday with a smile and high hopes for the day. :)
I need my permit, and a job. Then, my life will be complete.
Comment please. <3.
28 days until my birthday, mark your calendars for April 7th my loves. :)
I honestly do not understand life. Why can't I just be happy all the time? If I never had to feel this pain ever again, it would be too soon.
How is it that you have been single for two years, and the oppertune moment you get to have a girlfriend, you pull out the bullshit excuses? "I don't know if I want a girlfriend just now." & "I feel like we rushed into things, and I want to get to know you more."
Then, you have the balls to say you want to go back to the "dating phase" of things. I was not even getting that fucking serious. I was just upset I was getting blown off - not being a phsyco girlfriend or anything. I would have been mad if anyone cancelled plans for me after I set a whole night aside for you.
You're the one with the expectations. You expect me to sit at home and wait for you to finish up with your plans so you can "stop by". Sorry bud, no. If I am not going to sit around and wait for you on a Saturday night, what makes you think I am going to want to sit around and wait till you're "ready" for a girlfriend. Tonight is the last night I am waiting for you.
I am so tired of my emotions being thrown into a blender, then thrown back in my face. No one ever takes my feelings into concideration and it pisses me off so much cause I am always looking out for people. If you are good to me, I will bend over backwards for you. And sometimes, I just need to be reminded that people care. Is that too much to ask? I hate selfish people.
If you want to be with that fat whore, by all means - be with her. She is gross and she will never care for you the way I could have.
On a lighter note, last night I went to Taste Of Chaos, with some wonderful people. Some of which include, Kristina, Meghan, Faith, Nevin, Kaileigh, Shannon (& her boyfriend, Mike), Steph, and Alex. I had an awesome time. Greeley was up first, and Kristina and I were so close to Ryan, the lead singer. He came down into the crowd and was singing. He grabbed Kristina and was singing and holding onto her arm. So hot. Then we took a picture with them <3.
I was in the crowd for the first couple songs of Thrice. But right after "Artist in the Ambulance" Kristina almost passed out - so we got out to get her a drink. I was kind of disspointed in their set - but thats all good.
The crowd was kinda weak. I was upset, the crowd is a bunch of idiots. They suck for crowd surfing. I got dropped so many times. Then landed on. I have numerous bruises all over my back. And being dropped on my head was no fun. 3 times I was dropped. Serious pain today.
The past two days I've really realized how much I love and appreciate Kristina. Not that this may seem like a big deal to anyone else, but last night she made sure she had a hold of me at all times. It meant a lot to me, cause I know she cares - and I would have been so scared if I lost her in the crowd. Secondly, tonight she told Kevin (who has been her best friend for 3 years now), that if he was willing to hurt me, then she couldn't be friends with him anymore. And, for her to chose me over him may seem weird cause we've only been friends for a couple months, but I've learned so much about her in that little time, and I would honestly trust her with my life.
Although life can have its shitty days, I still love where I am at this point. I wake up everyday with a smile and high hopes for the day. :)
I need my permit, and a job. Then, my life will be complete.
Comment please. <3.
28 days until my birthday, mark your calendars for April 7th my loves. :)