In Want of a Wife [part 12]
Chapter Twelve: "The husband who decides to surprise his wife is often very much surprised himself." Voltaire
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Tino hadn't expected such a bubbly feeling. It was such an effervescent oddity; his entire chest felt light and he just couldn't keep a giddy smile off his face. He was acting silly!
Berwald had walked him back to his room, kissed his hand, and then walked down the hall. Then he waved and entered his own room.
Tino watched the whole thing, standing in front of his door with his hand outstretched where Berwald had left it and damning that stupid boy to hell because Tino was kind of falling for him.
It's not like it was a bad thing. Berwald was really sweet, in a semi-fucking-stalker kind of way. Cute was maybe the right word. How could Tino not find Berwald cute?
Berwald's face when Tino told them they were dating-I mean, you can't describe that type of overwhelming happiness. Tino had watched Berwald's sea-green eyes light up like everything in the world had just fallen perfectly into place.
It was cute. He couldn't tell Feliks, though, because Feliks would go ballistic and tell everyone on their floor, including Toris and then Toris would possibly tell Berwald and even though they were dating now Tino was notBerwald's boyfriend yet and that level of grapevine compliment was just not on.
Right. So what was with the bouncy feeling? Tino rocked back on his heels, staring as his dorm room door. He couldn't just go inside and sit down. He couldn't! How could he? Really?
He wanted to talk to someone. Feliks popped into his head, of course, but Tino just didn't feel like… you know… because Feliks' advice was kind of crap. That was a horrible thing to say about his friend, but this was the same boy that forced him into a man thong and sprinkled glitter on all visible parts of his body. So honestly Tino couldn't feel too bad.
But it was eleven-thirty on the first real Friday night of his four-year college experience and he was standing like a dumbass, grinning stupidly at his door.
Obviously he had some issues.
Tino let out a soft sigh, bringing one of his hands to massage his chest and try to dissipate the bubbliness that plagued him.
Who could he talk to? Who could he talk to? He couldn't call his dad-like his dad would be all excited about his gay son's first date. He'd just go, "that's great, son" and if Tino was there in person he'd get a firm pat on the shoulder. Sometimes he really missed his mom.
Tino figured he could blab about his first date in his journal, but how girly was that? Well, it's not like wanting to talk to someone about your first date wasn't girly, but he needed some advice.
He needed some damn advice because he'd known this crazy stalker-giant fool for a week and Tino had never felt so strongly attracted to anyone. Was there something wrong with him? Was this going too fast? Most importantly, was stalking one of his kinks? Oh god.
Tino turned around and leaned against his room's door. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts list.
Berwald
BESTROOMIEEVER!1!
Emil
Eduard
Lukas
Mikkel
Toris
Vash
Tino bit his lip. Mikkel was fucking insane, Vash had absolutely no idea about relationships… Lukas was kind of scary! Toris might tell Berwald, and like he could talk to Berwald about his feelings. Berwald would probably masturbate to those. Tino had better keep them locked up until he felt comfortable with that sort of intimacy. But Berwald probably masturbated anyway, and most likely about him… and fuck if he hadn't masturbated about Berwald because anyone that tall and sexy had a monster dick, and perhaps Tino would admit that monster dicks were most likely possibly okay definitely one of his kinks.
Eduard's longest relationship involved a computer. Like that would go over well, anyway. Tino had known Eduard the longest, mostly because they ended up sitting next to each other on the flight from Helsinki to Florence, but whatever. Eduard probably masturbated with a iVibe or iDildo or something electronic like that. Tino had no idea if those things existed, but they probably did. There was an app for everything, after all.
That left Emil. Quiet, polite Emil. Tino was a little intimidated by him, probably because Emil was related to Lukas and Lukas was perhaps the scariest motherfucker on the planet. His eyes looked straight to your soul. Tino did not want that kind of interrogational, future-telling magic that Tino was certain a conversation with Lukas would entail.
So Emil it was.
He pressed the green phone button, and crossed his fingers and the line on the other end rang.
"…Hello?"
"Emil? This is Tino. Um, I was wondering if I could come over?"
"Sure."
"I kind of need to talk."
"I know."
"Er, really?"
"Lukas told me."
"…I see, well um I'll just be on my way then."
"Okay."
-&-&-
Tino fidgeted kind of irritably in his seat.
He had a lovely, steaming glass of hot chocolate in front of him. It even had a shot of vanilla vodka in it. It truly smelled fabulous. And the room was chilly compared to the heat of the evening.
However, that did not change the fact that Emil and Lukas were sitting across from him, each nursing their own cup and probably telecommunicating with their minds.
Emil spoke first, because Emil was much braver than Tino. "You said you needed to talk."
"Well, yes." Tino admitted. "But I kind of meant to you."
"I would tell Lukas anyway." Emil shrugged, his puffin readjusting on his shoulder. "So it's better this way."
"Great." Tino sighed. "Um, where do I start?"
"Berwald." Lukas said. "Tell us about Berwald."
"How did you know?" Tino shrieked defensively.
"I'm not an idiot." Lukas sighed. "He's been stalking you for a solid week. We live on the same hall. It's obvious."
"O-oh." Tino sagged in his chair, a bit relieved. "It is a bit obvious."
Emil hummed in agreement, stirring his chocolate with a silver spoon.
Tino fidgeted, eyeing the door and formulating escape routes in his head if that spoon had magical voodoo powers.
And then Emil couldn't help it, he chuckled. Lukas sent him a frown, and Emil's face struggled to regain his composure.
"We're not wizards." Emil said, very amused by Tino's distress. "We're just observant."
Lukas rolled his eyes. "It's beneficial to have people believe otherwise."
Tino blushed bright red. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you or anything it's just that you're so intimidating and I'm-"
"You need to breath." Lukas said, concentrating on his own chocolate. Actually, maybe it was coffee because Tino had never seen anyone add sugar to hot chocolate.
Tino took a deep breath and relaxed. "Okay."
"So you need to talk about Berwald." Emil reverted the conversation back to the original topic. "That's fine. We'll listen."
"I need advice." Tino confessed. "I know absolutely nothing about relationships. Except what Feliks has tried to instill-"
Both Emil and Lukas scoffed.
"Feliks?" Emil began with a slight smirk.
"Not the best advice." Lukas agreed.
"He's a bit…" Emil struggled for a word.
"Ridiculous? Overwhelming? Gay?"
"All of the above?"
"Yes, I agree."
Tino blinked, eyeing the two curiously. "You said you weren't twins?"
"No." Emil said.
"Half-brothers." Lukas interjected. "I'm older."
"Barely." Emil rolled his eyes.
"As it stands, I'm older." Lukas raised his brows in Emil's direction, challenging Emil to say elsewise.
"You're older because Norway's time is ahead of Iceland's."
"It still counts."
Emil sighed, and Tino belated realized he might have brought up a sensitive topic.
"I'm sorry." He said, bringing the brothers' attention back to him. "But what?"
"Same father." Emil explained. "He was a bastard."
"Dickhead."
"Asshole."
"Completely." Lukas agreed. "Cheated on both our moms."
"Without their knowledge, of course."
"The idiot."
"I know." Emil sighed. "But our moms found out."
"We were little?" Lukas hummed. "Maybe one or two?"
"Father was found out-two wives and two sons in two countries."
"Our mothers were furious. Took him to court and won."
"And of course, they were both bisexual." Emil chuckled.
"After they each divorced him, they remarried each other." Lukas clarified. "And we live in Norway now."
"Primarily." Emil corrected. "We still have our house in Iceland."
Lukas tilted his head in acknowledgement. Tino blinked at them.
"So… basically you're twins."
Lukas's lip twitched upwards, and Emil smiled. "Close enough." They said in unison.
"Creepy." Tino replied. "That's kind of creepy."
"Speaking of creepy…" Emil said.
"Berwald." Lukas finished, eyeing Tino speculatively.
"Right." Tino sighed. "So, we're dating now."
Tino looked up, trying to judge their expression. But the boys' faces remained blank. Lukas seemed completely uninterested and Emil was playing with his puffin.
"And um, yeah." Tino struggled to find the right words. "I just, it makes me feel weird."
"Define 'weird'." Lukas didn't look away from where he was gazing at the wall.
"Um, you know. Tingling? Like there's a tightness in my chest but it's not like a painful tightness, it's just there. I'm always aware of it and it's sort of awkward being around him because sometimes I don't know what to say. And I just feel like my head is muddled." Tino explained.
"You love him." Lukas clarified.
"Lukas." Emil whispered in chastisement. "He wanted advice, not a psychoanalysis."
Lukas shrugged. Tino stared at the two in open-mouthed horror.
"I can't love him!" Tino stated. "Not yet! It's been a week! Do you know what a week is?"
"Seven days." Lukas said deadpanned.
"Motherfucking seven days!" Tino gasped, letting his head fall to their small kitchen table. "Oh my god. Oh. my. god."
"Tino, breath." Emil reminded him gently.
"And get a grip." Lukas sighed.
"What if I do love him? What do I do?" Tino lamented. "I've never been in love with anyone! I'm only eighteen! Love isn't supposed to happen until you're like… old."
Emil and Lukas raised their brows and Tino dug his face back into the table in distress.
"First of all," Lukas said, "you should probably buy condoms."
"Lukas." Emil hissed. "That is not helping."
Lukas looked away, but Emil rolled his eyes at the sparkle of gleeful mischief in his brother's eyes.
Tino made a pained keening noise, and Emil turned back to the floundering freshman in front of him.
"My advice, Tino, would be to take it one day at a time." Emil said calmly, trying to soothe the distraught boy. "Your date went well?"
Tino nodded, face still against the table.
"Then take it a date at a time. Berwald will lead you, as well. You need to let him know if you're not comfortable with something, but if you like him you shouldn't push him away."
Tino nodded again.
"So breath, Tino. You're okay. You're going to take this slow, and it's going to be fine."
"Right." Tino sat up, looking more settled. "Berwald always listens."
"Exactly." Emil stated. "And he's interesting in pursuing you, to an extreme I've never encountered before. While you're warming up to the idea, let him lead the way. As your feeling grow, you should try to give back so Berwald feels your affection as well. Don't let this turn into a one-sided affair."
Tino nodded. "I could maybe give him secret admirer gifts, too."
"Exactly." Emil nodded. "You need to find a balance in your relationship."
"Right." Tino admitted. "I'm feeling a lot better now. It was just a bit overwhelming, because Berwald is really, really affectionate and I'm just not there yet."
"That's okay. But you need to make sure Berwald understands that, too." Emil continued his advice. "You don't want him confused because his attention seems to be all for naught."
"Yeah. I don't want him feeling that way, because I do really like him. Kind of a lot." Tino grinned a bit, obviously thinking fondly of his personal stalker.
"Take it one step at a time."
"Yeah. Yeah!" Tino grinned, obviously re-focused on his task. "Thank you guys. So much."
"You're welcome." Lukas replied. "You can go now." Emil elbowed him in the arm.
"Thanks again!" Tino waved as he exited their dorm room. He walked down the hall to his room with a happy grin on his face. Because he had an idea.
-&-&-
Berwald heard the knock on his door and groaned, as it was Saturday now because it was one in the morning. Why was someone knocking on his and Toris' door at one in the morning?
Toris was sound asleep, pink earplugs muffling any noises, so Berwald grudgingly got out of bed and shuffled to the door. He opened it and stared.
There, in front of his door, was a Moomin plushie. Berwald stared at it, then looked curiously around the hallway. It was lit, but empty. He picked up the plushie and flipped open the note that was sitting on its lap.
Berwald. Moomins are cute, and so are you. Your secret admirer, Tino.