Case of the Mondays
I am sitting at an Internet cafe and I am about to print out some CVs and cover letters for the new jobs I am applying for. It's crazy, I should be at home resting after my 12-hour shift but what can I do, I've gotta look out for my future before it's too late, and it's clear now that no-one else will help me, but me. And then I think about how all the so-called teachers in my life and other influential people (incl. my parents), always told me to do stuff this way not that way, and for some dumb reason I kind of always listened, even when I did the opposite thing out of reaction. Yeah, so now I am taking back my own time and well, I don't know for sure where this path will take me but at least it will be my own path, of listening to myself. This is not sth that just dawned on me today, obviously. I have been working on this for some time now, and I just know I've gotta do what I want with my own life, not what others expect me to. Do I sound like a teenager? I probably do. But to finish this letter to myself I wanted to write down an idea I had today, that a religious life to me means to discover and connect with the person one is deep inside, and live that life to the maximum extent, in its most sincere form. That's like paying God back for all the potential he put in you... And to reciprocate w/ the big fella out there (whatever "he" might be) must be as good as it gets.
So it was a bit of a boring day today at the office... not much fun, no laughs, no incoming calls, well, just Vicky who called and she's sorted out a music article, which we'll write together for an extreme sports magazine I think. This is pretty cool, but I also think about how when I was younger I was always dreaming about things I now have, like playing in a band and writing articles for fanzines etc etc, but then again nowadays I find out that happiness doesn't necessarily come from these things but more from within, and from the little things in life, like everyday relationships... I wont get into that too much right now tho,,,
I'm gonna go now, this place is smoky and smells and is really really loud so there's no reason why I shouldn't be at home. I'm just gonna print my job stuff and go have dinner and watch some TV just like another 1,ooo,ooo,ooo other people are doing tonight.
How wonderful!
So it was a bit of a boring day today at the office... not much fun, no laughs, no incoming calls, well, just Vicky who called and she's sorted out a music article, which we'll write together for an extreme sports magazine I think. This is pretty cool, but I also think about how when I was younger I was always dreaming about things I now have, like playing in a band and writing articles for fanzines etc etc, but then again nowadays I find out that happiness doesn't necessarily come from these things but more from within, and from the little things in life, like everyday relationships... I wont get into that too much right now tho,,,
I'm gonna go now, this place is smoky and smells and is really really loud so there's no reason why I shouldn't be at home. I'm just gonna print my job stuff and go have dinner and watch some TV just like another 1,ooo,ooo,ooo other people are doing tonight.
How wonderful!