I sleep to dream of you forever...
This week has been one of the roughest weeks ever..I never realized how many things ive done in my short 18 years... it seems like time is flying by now these days... the things i used to have time for... now i dont have time for anymore... well nothing special happened today... just went to skool... took like 5 tests.. ya skool is a major bitch.. Hopefully in april itll be all over..I still think about it. You know gradauation and all. And i dont want to graduate.. i wish i could stay a kid forever.. coz now that i think about it i dont think im ready to grow up just yet. But besides all that.. I just went got my nails done and my eyebrows waxed..whopp de fukken doo! It was okay.. at least i relaxed a bit. But then i caught the bus home from skool and i got a chance to actually sit and contemplate about evreything thats been going on.. i mean right when you think things are looking up for you.. they just turn upside down and you get screwed twice as hard. Ya.. well i guess thats life.. and im just gonna have to live with it.. until then take kare and i will see you all later..
___Bus writing___
* I stand in front of my mirror... looking at my body... my figure.. the way it is curvy all around... I look into my own eyes... and see emptiness... I see lonliness... I see nothing.. but my reflection. I wish I had someone to confide... someone to hold my hand... to make me brand new..... I look around the room... and see nothing but shadows... lurking in the corners... waiting for me to draw near to them... to sink me in.. in the emptiness of there souls.... Im so scared... all the little pieces inside me shatter... Shards of me ... to sharp to put back together... But big enough to cut me into soo many little pieces... But I know the diffrence between myself and my reflection.... I just cant help but to wonder which of me do you love.... Isnt something missing? You wont cry for my absence I know..... You forgot me long ago... Am I that unimportant?... Am I so unsignificant?..... Even though I would sacrifce... you wont try for me... I know... though I would die just to know you love me... Im all alone... I know wot you do to yourself.... breath deep and cry out... to me.... And if I bleed.... Ill bleed... knowing you dont care... And if I sleep.... just to dream of you... awake without you here... Your my only hope... my only dream... my only peace... I give myself to you... take me.... all I need is YOU*
___Bus writing___
* I stand in front of my mirror... looking at my body... my figure.. the way it is curvy all around... I look into my own eyes... and see emptiness... I see lonliness... I see nothing.. but my reflection. I wish I had someone to confide... someone to hold my hand... to make me brand new..... I look around the room... and see nothing but shadows... lurking in the corners... waiting for me to draw near to them... to sink me in.. in the emptiness of there souls.... Im so scared... all the little pieces inside me shatter... Shards of me ... to sharp to put back together... But big enough to cut me into soo many little pieces... But I know the diffrence between myself and my reflection.... I just cant help but to wonder which of me do you love.... Isnt something missing? You wont cry for my absence I know..... You forgot me long ago... Am I that unimportant?... Am I so unsignificant?..... Even though I would sacrifce... you wont try for me... I know... though I would die just to know you love me... Im all alone... I know wot you do to yourself.... breath deep and cry out... to me.... And if I bleed.... Ill bleed... knowing you dont care... And if I sleep.... just to dream of you... awake without you here... Your my only hope... my only dream... my only peace... I give myself to you... take me.... all I need is YOU*