May 12, 2005 05:29
Well, I really should be getting ready for school...but I love a little bit of good procrastination...
Anyways, I'm not gaining or losing right now. This is fucking insane. I hate myself. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Poop. I mean... I'm just like..losing control.. that's all that I've ever wanted...control. And now I can't even have that. I miss my old habits.
I miss my old self. Small self. Now I am "thin" and "healthy". The people who call me that don't even know how much of an insult that is. >B( I mean..the last thing I would want to be would be "ideal weight" or "normal weight".
And that's what I fucking am.
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