we've all done that . & ya kno you never called me , you called lindsey & you didnt IM me , you IMed lindsey , i asked you to hang out that one time and you laughed at me , i dont even make plans with the people now , they ask me ... cos i always and still dont do the inviting cos i feel that no one wants to hang & if they do theyd call and ask me cos i always wanna . & i think alot of this also has to do with ride situations cos i kno your mom was like the only person who drove anywhere & itd be kinda rude now if i called and asked you to chill and then said but wait i need a ride & i kno you prolly will say " it never bothered you befor "....
but regardless of anything . i still wanna hang out wtih you .
you never realized i gave up before spring break because you started blowing me off for greg. and even if you didnt blow me off for greg, he always came first. ever since the time when you were in the car with him and we going to i-forget-where when you were spossed to go to a show with me. and you didnt even call me to cancel it. you just left. and did you realize if you dont do any of the inviting people feel like you dont want them around? because it awfly seems like it. if i never chill with you and linz again, then i never chill with you again. and thats just how things will end up. but i hate when you guys act like were all bff in school.
if your gonna bring up the " who comes first " , you kno youve done it too , back when you used to go outw tih scott , there were a few times when we made plans and then you chilled with scott . & your never gonna let me live that day down where i went with him & skipped one show with you , that you seemed like you didnt even want me to go with you too when we never made it clear that i was going wtih you in the first place cos lindsey told me about it not even you & the only thing i said was " well id rather hang out with my frineds" and that was the last thing we said about it . & i guess thats just the way i feel about the inviting thing & everyone knows im always willing to hang out , are you telling me it seems like i dont want you around , cos i do , its just that some days i feel like sittin at home with a few frineds just goofing off instead of being out . & me and lindsey had asked you so many time to have sleepovers wtih us & you always denyed , we asked you to chill just at a house and you didnt want to ... so are you
( ... )
there were a few times when we made plans and then you chilled with scott i dont remeber that. but i always hung with you and everyone and i always hung with him. he came to the mall a few times cause i wanted to be with you guys. and you guys went to his shows cause thats what everyone liked doing back then. hes even driven you and a few people home a few times. and even if i did change plans we made, atleast i let you know instead of making you call me.
the only reason i wont let you "live that day down" is because when you hung out with him it was a huge secret. and i had to stay home alone that night because you blew me off. no, not "change plans", blew me off. and you did make it clear you were going with me. and i was the one who told you cause i remeber it was in the hallway. maybe youre thinking of one of the other times.
its just that some days i feel like sittin at home with a few frineds just goofing off instead of being out i dont always have to be going out to have fun. and whenever i couldnt sleep over it was cause
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it really wasnt a huge secret when i hung out with him . & i wasnt thinkin about another time . i had science with lindsey and she mentioned something about a show and i was like huh what show and shes like " well your hanging with greg so i told christina i might go wtih her " and then i asked you or me and you talked about it int he hallways and you said " it doesnt matter cos your hanging with greg anyways" or something. its not just my fault tho , it seems like your puttin all the blame on me and lindsey , its everyones fault & ... people make mistakes and we;re supposed to forgive&forget & not let these things stop our frinedship . we should be able to not hang out for like 2 weekeneds in a row or 3 & then come back and be right were we left off , cos everyone does have other things to do & other frineds they wanna spend time with.
it wasnt only 2 or 3 weekends... its been like 2 months. and friends and boyfriends and crushes can mix. you guys meet all my friends and bfs. and no matter what i say about linz and her bf youre gunna say "well thats linz". i dont know what happened to "chicks before dicks". but then again, no one ever promised eachother anything. i envite everyone on my lj to do shit every week. the only person who does anything is marco. and even tho he hangs with his gf and cant be around for me, i respect it, cause i know he can hang with other people and he tries to make everyone happy.
you guys used to always be invited and involved in everything in my life. but now i guess ive made new friends too.
i dont even kno what to say about all of this. im skipping out on my third period just so i could read about this "fight." why dont we all just get together and talk about this? LIVEJOURNAL KNOWS DRAMA and i kno you both hate it. and i dont act all bff in the halls cuz i still consider you mine. just like jill said above. so obviously we both feel the same way about it, and we're both trying to explain it to you, we just dont want to lose you as a friend but i think you think you're lost already. and i really dont want this to happen.
but i think you think you're lost already because when i told you you said "oh jeeze" and went on with your life because when i invited you places you had other things to do because when i say that ^^ you guys take it as "well we can have other friends" because i know you can have other friends. but you can make time for everyone. no one ever had time for that "rent day". but everyone had time to watch it and play ddr without me.
FUCK oFF! why is it so hard to understand?! why cant you fucking get that i dont want you around the people i chill with now? because you had to be friends with mikey and greg (ex) and everytime i told you NOT to talk to them you did, even after we broke up and i wanted a break from them. im not saying anything's going on with chris. im saying that you dont FUCKING GET IT. yea, i didnt go to the mall tonight. you know why? cause i KNEW you were going to be there. and i didnt know what the fuck i wouldve done if when i ran into you. you cant even be a good fucking friend to the people youve known since 7th grade, and yet youre trying to make friends with mine?! FUCKKKK OFFFF. DO.YOU.GET.IT?!
why cant you fucking get that i dont want you around the people i chill with now?
the people you chill with now? those people can have any friends they want and so can i. they are not only YOUR friends. not YOUR territory. i've known most of shauna's friends for a long time. example:hilary was on my soccer team. back in the day. i tryed to explain that to you that day in the hall that i didnt kno that chris sat with you at lunch or that u hung out with him outside of school before i knew that rachel was cool with him, i couldnt talk in detail because i started crying. i would have met him sooner or later no matter who he was friends with. and that seems to be the big problem now, chris. i came to the mall with rach and chris, not keith not hilary not louis not kirby not deanna and john not sean not shauna not mikey not danny. i didnt kno everyone was gonna be there, but its cool that they were. because ive met them all before anyways minus keith and sean. and i heard you said chris can either be friends with you or us, how is that
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"and i heard you said chris can either be friends with you or us" thats a lie darling.
" i want to kno how you felt about that." GREAT
"theres no such thing as having a whole group of friends to yourself, especially if we all live around eachother." you dont get out much do you? and living around eachother has nothing to do with it. if you met MY friends through me thatd be different then just adding them on myspace and fucking tagging along at MY house.
"where have i tresspassed?" my house. "im sorry if i ruined your night." good. "because if we were talking last night i kno that would have had so much more fun." what in your right mind thinks id want to talk? "but it seems that everyone understands me and jills situation because we're apologizing" appently not everyone. and saying sorry isnt everything. you guys had fun and did fine without me. it doesnt even matter anymore.
ive always been in the same spot.
in my house,
waiting for anyone to invite me anywhere.
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but regardless of anything . i still wanna hang out wtih you .
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i dont remeber that. but i always hung with you and everyone and i always hung with him. he came to the mall a few times cause i wanted to be with you guys. and you guys went to his shows cause thats what everyone liked doing back then. hes even driven you and a few people home a few times. and even if i did change plans we made, atleast i let you know instead of making you call me.
the only reason i wont let you "live that day down" is because when you hung out with him it was a huge secret. and i had to stay home alone that night because you blew me off. no, not "change plans", blew me off. and you did make it clear you were going with me. and i was the one who told you cause i remeber it was in the hallway. maybe youre thinking of one of the other times.
its just that some days i feel like sittin at home with a few frineds just goofing off instead of being out i dont always have to be going out to have fun. and whenever i couldnt sleep over it was cause ( ... )
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its not just my fault tho , it seems like your puttin all the blame on me and lindsey , its everyones fault & ... people make mistakes and we;re supposed to forgive&forget & not let these things stop our frinedship . we should be able to not hang out for like 2 weekeneds in a row or 3 & then come back and be right were we left off , cos everyone does have other things to do & other frineds they wanna spend time with.
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you guys used to always be invited and involved in everything in my life. but now i guess ive made new friends too.
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because when i told you you said "oh jeeze" and went on with your life
because when i invited you places you had other things to do
because when i say that ^^ you guys take it as "well we can have other friends"
because i know you can have other friends. but you can make time for everyone.
no one ever had time for that "rent day". but everyone had time to watch it and play ddr without me.
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i thought we were planning on having it a different day.
with marco and andrew.
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dont even fucking reply.
(this is not to you, jill, only linz)
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the people you chill with now? those people can have any friends they want and so can i. they are not only YOUR friends. not YOUR territory. i've known most of shauna's friends for a long time. example:hilary was on my soccer team. back in the day. i tryed to explain that to you that day in the hall that i didnt kno that chris sat with you at lunch or that u hung out with him outside of school before i knew that rachel was cool with him, i couldnt talk in detail because i started crying. i would have met him sooner or later no matter who he was friends with. and that seems to be the big problem now, chris. i came to the mall with rach and chris, not keith not hilary not louis not kirby not deanna and john not sean not shauna not mikey not danny. i didnt kno everyone was gonna be there, but its cool that they were. because ive met them all before anyways minus keith and sean. and i heard you said chris can either be friends with you or us, how is that ( ... )
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thats a lie darling.
" i want to kno how you felt about that."
GREAT
"theres no such thing as having a whole group of friends to yourself, especially if we all live around eachother."
you dont get out much do you? and living around eachother has nothing to do with it. if you met MY friends through me thatd be different then just adding them on myspace and fucking tagging along at MY house.
"where have i tresspassed?"
my house.
"im sorry if i ruined your night."
good.
"because if we were talking last night i kno that would have had so much more fun."
what in your right mind thinks id want to talk?
"but it seems that everyone understands me and jills situation because we're apologizing"
appently not everyone. and saying sorry isnt everything. you guys had fun and did fine without me. it doesnt even matter anymore.
and i honestly dont care.
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