My cast list went up tonight ...
and my first main stage production is underway!!!
ahhhh!!!!
I'm so excited!!!
so excited ... but definitely so scared at the same time.
I am WAY afraid of fucking up! big time!
our first kind of production meeting was on Friday morning and it was way crazy! Nancy keeps telling me more and more things that are freaking me out. things like my cast went from eight to seventeen- it's down to fifteen now but I wouldn't really count that as 'down'. oh - and I've been forewarned that there might be press at the FIRST rehearsal ... that's right ... FIRST rehearsal. and the actual person that the Reverend character was quoted from is coming the evening of the performances to stand outside of the theatre and fucking protest! INSANE!!! oh - and Merecedes Herrero ... one of the original Tectonic Theatre Project members ... worked with Bob a few years ago ... so she might come see it too! ahhhh!!!!!
and that's just even the beginning.
then Nancy started telling me about all the designers and shit I'm working with. holy mother fucker! fucking Bob Chapel from University of Virginia and Heritage Rep. Theatre ... Bob Smith who is apparently this big time lighting designer ... the costume designer is an alumni ... and there's just so many big time amazing people working on this show I can't even believe it.
my first show!
MY
FIRST
SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just feel like Nancy made a HUGE mistake though! I am so not ready for this!!!
all these famous and amazing people ... and this huge, huge, huge production ... and seven more cast members than expected ...
I just don't think I'm ready.
I don't think Nancy thinks I'm ready either ... when she found out he wasn't using the original eight person cast she freaked out. she knows it's too large of a show for me. especially because the other two first time SMs this semester haven't been exactly up to par ... so she probably figures I won't be either- and now with this show being WAY bigger than she thought ... well ... it's just really bad ...
what's even worse is that Bob likes me so far ... and I don't want to disappoint him later on down the road. the AD told me all this really wonderful stuff he said about me and it made me want to cry! she was just like, omg, he loves you. and I was like, haha, I bet. and she was like, no seriously. he just kept being like, Christina- she's so fantastic. where can I get one of her? When does she graduate? I want to take her back to Virginia with me and hire her. LIKE FUCKING HELL HE DOES!!! OMG!!!!!!
and I seriously wanted to cry because that's so amazing and it made me so happy ... but I'm like now when I DO fall on my face like everyone else seems to be doing, it'll be that much worse ... and Katy will just sit there and laugh at me (haha ... you bitch!)
I dunno ... I'm just so nervous. I don't feel like I have the help I need to make this show what it has the potential to be ... and it has the potential to be A LOT. Like holy fuck! I still can't even believe it!!!
P.S. ~ weirdest coincidence EVER ... the actual hate crimes that were committed against Matthew Shepard began on the evening of October 6, 1998, and carried on through the morning of October 7, 1998. Auditions for my show were definitely OCTOBER 6 AND OCTOBER 7!!! They were held literally on the actual anniversary of the beatings and that's just so incredibly and insanely crazy to me! I can't even believe it. And the day he actually passed will be our first day off ... ironic? I dunno, you tell me. But I think it's kinda weird and creepy the way that totally played out :-/
ahhhh!!!!
I'm so excited!!!
so excited ... but definitely so scared at the same time.
I am WAY afraid of fucking up! big time!
our first kind of production meeting was on Friday morning and it was way crazy! Nancy keeps telling me more and more things that are freaking me out. things like my cast went from eight to seventeen- it's down to fifteen now but I wouldn't really count that as 'down'. oh - and I've been forewarned that there might be press at the FIRST rehearsal ... that's right ... FIRST rehearsal. and the actual person that the Reverend character was quoted from is coming the evening of the performances to stand outside of the theatre and fucking protest! INSANE!!! oh - and Merecedes Herrero ... one of the original Tectonic Theatre Project members ... worked with Bob a few years ago ... so she might come see it too! ahhhh!!!!!
and that's just even the beginning.
then Nancy started telling me about all the designers and shit I'm working with. holy mother fucker! fucking Bob Chapel from University of Virginia and Heritage Rep. Theatre ... Bob Smith who is apparently this big time lighting designer ... the costume designer is an alumni ... and there's just so many big time amazing people working on this show I can't even believe it.
my first show!
MY
FIRST
SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just feel like Nancy made a HUGE mistake though! I am so not ready for this!!!
all these famous and amazing people ... and this huge, huge, huge production ... and seven more cast members than expected ...
I just don't think I'm ready.
I don't think Nancy thinks I'm ready either ... when she found out he wasn't using the original eight person cast she freaked out. she knows it's too large of a show for me. especially because the other two first time SMs this semester haven't been exactly up to par ... so she probably figures I won't be either- and now with this show being WAY bigger than she thought ... well ... it's just really bad ...
what's even worse is that Bob likes me so far ... and I don't want to disappoint him later on down the road. the AD told me all this really wonderful stuff he said about me and it made me want to cry! she was just like, omg, he loves you. and I was like, haha, I bet. and she was like, no seriously. he just kept being like, Christina- she's so fantastic. where can I get one of her? When does she graduate? I want to take her back to Virginia with me and hire her. LIKE FUCKING HELL HE DOES!!! OMG!!!!!!
and I seriously wanted to cry because that's so amazing and it made me so happy ... but I'm like now when I DO fall on my face like everyone else seems to be doing, it'll be that much worse ... and Katy will just sit there and laugh at me (haha ... you bitch!)
I dunno ... I'm just so nervous. I don't feel like I have the help I need to make this show what it has the potential to be ... and it has the potential to be A LOT. Like holy fuck! I still can't even believe it!!!
P.S. ~ weirdest coincidence EVER ... the actual hate crimes that were committed against Matthew Shepard began on the evening of October 6, 1998, and carried on through the morning of October 7, 1998. Auditions for my show were definitely OCTOBER 6 AND OCTOBER 7!!! They were held literally on the actual anniversary of the beatings and that's just so incredibly and insanely crazy to me! I can't even believe it. And the day he actually passed will be our first day off ... ironic? I dunno, you tell me. But I think it's kinda weird and creepy the way that totally played out :-/