So much crap.
Yesterday was crap crap CRAP.
We decided not to get the house, so I'm going to call the real estate lady and tell her we're not ready or whatever I'm supposed to say. I'm really disappointed cause I wanted that house so bad but I think this is for the best. I really need to stay at gramma's and help her raise these four kids. A fifty-something year old woman cannot raise four kids all under the age of six by herself. So... yeah. *Insert witty, optimistic phrases here or whatever*.
Also, there's been a lot of crap going on with Heather Pie. I feel bad because I sort of lost my temper with her yesterday and probably came off as a complete psycho bitch. She's just really got me worried and I refuse to lose the most important person in the world to me. I'll do whatever I have to, even if it means her hating me for a while, to make sure she's okay.
Anddd to top it off, she said something that triggered a waterfall of emotions that I'd been trying ever-so-hard to keep locked up. I ended up calling Sam sobbing hysterically telling him that I need him and still love him and I'm sick of pretending I'm so strong and over him and blah blah blah. Lametastic.
BUT. Hannah sent me a song that makes me happy and I've been listening to it on repeat for the last two or three hours. Trying very hard to pretend that the only thing that exists in the world is this song. I don't think I can handle much else at this point. Going back to gramma's house to babysit again tonight. Joy. I love those kids with all of my heart, but you have to devote every single second of your day to them. Phone calls are out of the question and, unfortunately, so is the internet. Thank god for nap time though.
We decided not to get the house, so I'm going to call the real estate lady and tell her we're not ready or whatever I'm supposed to say. I'm really disappointed cause I wanted that house so bad but I think this is for the best. I really need to stay at gramma's and help her raise these four kids. A fifty-something year old woman cannot raise four kids all under the age of six by herself. So... yeah. *Insert witty, optimistic phrases here or whatever*.
Also, there's been a lot of crap going on with Heather Pie. I feel bad because I sort of lost my temper with her yesterday and probably came off as a complete psycho bitch. She's just really got me worried and I refuse to lose the most important person in the world to me. I'll do whatever I have to, even if it means her hating me for a while, to make sure she's okay.
Anddd to top it off, she said something that triggered a waterfall of emotions that I'd been trying ever-so-hard to keep locked up. I ended up calling Sam sobbing hysterically telling him that I need him and still love him and I'm sick of pretending I'm so strong and over him and blah blah blah. Lametastic.
BUT. Hannah sent me a song that makes me happy and I've been listening to it on repeat for the last two or three hours. Trying very hard to pretend that the only thing that exists in the world is this song. I don't think I can handle much else at this point. Going back to gramma's house to babysit again tonight. Joy. I love those kids with all of my heart, but you have to devote every single second of your day to them. Phone calls are out of the question and, unfortunately, so is the internet. Thank god for nap time though.