Her, her and him.
I don't understand. I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
All I ever wanted was her and I just can't accept the fact that I can't have her. Why am I not good enough? :[.
I'm trying really hard to process all of this and just get it out of my head. When Whitley moves to Jacksonville, I want to be able to focus on her and only her, because she deserves that. She's an amazing girl that deserves the best things in life and I want to really give us a good chance. But I feel like I can't do that if I'm still holding on to someone else. I just need to let go. Someone help me out here. How do you let go of someone you've loved for years and years, through all of those silly crushes and even through not so silly relationships? Because I obviously can't do it. I've been trying to get over her for what seems like decades.
In other, distantly related news-
Sam was really depressed today. I think the Whitley thing is really sinking in, after I told him about how she reacted to what I told her today. I suppose he expected her to freak out and I'd have to move on and give him another chance. Such is not the case, my dear boy. Maybe you shouldn't have fucked up. Then I wouldn't have even bothered with her, regardless of how gorgeous she is. But he was drinking Jager tonight, which is really odd for multiple reasons. For one, he hardly drinks. And secondly, on the rare occasion when he DOES drink, he drinks beer, never liquor. So I gave him a weird look when he picked up the shotglass and asked him why he was drinking it and he goes "I don't feel like feeling."
No good.
That response is bad for the obvious reason- he's depressed. But it doesn't stop there. He used to do coke because he "didn't feel like feeling". Now, Jager is most definitely not coke, but being substance-dependent isn't good no matter what you're using. I'm worried about what will happen when I really leave him. I also wonder if he said that because he knew I'd come to this conclusion and might give him another chance...
I don't know what to think anymore.
Any input/advice on either situation is appreciated, but just reading this is appreciated as well. Sometimes I really don't think anyone is listening anymore.
All I ever wanted was her and I just can't accept the fact that I can't have her. Why am I not good enough? :[.
I'm trying really hard to process all of this and just get it out of my head. When Whitley moves to Jacksonville, I want to be able to focus on her and only her, because she deserves that. She's an amazing girl that deserves the best things in life and I want to really give us a good chance. But I feel like I can't do that if I'm still holding on to someone else. I just need to let go. Someone help me out here. How do you let go of someone you've loved for years and years, through all of those silly crushes and even through not so silly relationships? Because I obviously can't do it. I've been trying to get over her for what seems like decades.
In other, distantly related news-
Sam was really depressed today. I think the Whitley thing is really sinking in, after I told him about how she reacted to what I told her today. I suppose he expected her to freak out and I'd have to move on and give him another chance. Such is not the case, my dear boy. Maybe you shouldn't have fucked up. Then I wouldn't have even bothered with her, regardless of how gorgeous she is. But he was drinking Jager tonight, which is really odd for multiple reasons. For one, he hardly drinks. And secondly, on the rare occasion when he DOES drink, he drinks beer, never liquor. So I gave him a weird look when he picked up the shotglass and asked him why he was drinking it and he goes "I don't feel like feeling."
No good.
That response is bad for the obvious reason- he's depressed. But it doesn't stop there. He used to do coke because he "didn't feel like feeling". Now, Jager is most definitely not coke, but being substance-dependent isn't good no matter what you're using. I'm worried about what will happen when I really leave him. I also wonder if he said that because he knew I'd come to this conclusion and might give him another chance...
I don't know what to think anymore.
Any input/advice on either situation is appreciated, but just reading this is appreciated as well. Sometimes I really don't think anyone is listening anymore.