surprisingly better
hmm.. hey hey hey, how werid is this. i have been having what i think is one of the worst months of my life, and i wake up this morning and i say too myself. nickie. you're rediculous. yes things havent been working out, and alot of fights ahve happened.. and alot of friends arent as true as they appear too be. yes you dont talk too you're best friend of 11 yrs nemore. and yes, you still havent found the guy you've been wishing would happen since summer time. but life isnt about what goes wrong, its about how you deal with what goes wrong, and that is a sign of character. its so much harder too stay sad then too just smile and deal with what you have, then wish for what you have no control over. i'm going too start actually living, instead of being an emotional mess. im tired of crying myself too sleep and thinking of everything that went wrong. im going too actually do something about it. so yes, its werid all this happened when things got even worse, i mean i was on the verge of losing one of my best friend over my mood swings. i cant handle losing people i care about.. i need too figure out a way too deal with my emotions. so yeah, i have like a blown up eye. its so funny looking. idk how i got it. jill said it was a sty, i dont no what sty shes had but this is NOT a sty. ive had a sty before.. my eye looks like i got punched haha.. horrah for my ugly eye! and ive been having such bad stomach pains man. suckkkkkkks! so yes.. i kind of blend in for halloween. and yes alex, two r's in horrah, is so much more kickass then 2 o's haha. oh yea. a thank you goes out too you alex. you're maybe.. the only one and two other people who actually realized my sadness i was going through and tried you're hardest too know i had someone who cared. you're an amazingg person. im glad were friends! =]. i met a really nice kid like two days ago too. his name is john. idk if he reads this but il just write it anyway. he helped me out too. and the funny thing is, we don't really know eachother. its great though, because i can see myself becoming good friends with him too. so i guess things are finally looking better. subtract my black eye though. tee hee... yesterday i went out too eat with pamela. which was alot of fun because i missed her terribly! and then we saw the grudge. OMG idk how people said that was stupid. me and pam were holding eachother so tight we looked like lesbians Lmfao. it was great. i slept over her house and talked 2 cindy for like 2 hours.. i love cindy so much, her and the hoe moe are like 2nd mothers too me. so yes. horrah for david polis, my other best frined whose finally better after his depressed stage he was going through. finally ' getting it ' right dave? just takes ya a while Lol! so yeah, im okay now i guess. instead of wishing i had something, il be greatful for what i still have. things always have a reason for happening. and until i figure the reasons out. il just laugh at the moment, and pretend i have an idea of whats going on =P
p.s- im not going too look and be upset over the fact that i dont have someone too think about, and i havent found the guy im looking for., or fallen in love. love takes time and is unpexpected. ill just be happy and let things come too me.. like my motherrr said[ shes crazy.. i really should appreciate her more].. you have too love yourself first before you can expect someone else too. so thats exactly what ill do.
<3 <3 <3
p.s- im not going too look and be upset over the fact that i dont have someone too think about, and i havent found the guy im looking for., or fallen in love. love takes time and is unpexpected. ill just be happy and let things come too me.. like my motherrr said[ shes crazy.. i really should appreciate her more].. you have too love yourself first before you can expect someone else too. so thats exactly what ill do.
<3 <3 <3