(no subject)

Aug 15, 2005 22:26

So I cried for the first time in over a year tonight. I was just thinking about the past and whatnot. I mean my life is wonderful now and I am truely happy, just missing something. Im not like I used to be. I used to be so much of a weaker person...I used to be so alone...I used to be so naive...I used to love everything, but myself. I miss that person and I miss being so naive. I miss trusting everyone. I was thinking about Donna and Jill, two of the first girls I ever loved, both of whom I still love and always will. Though I am all but a ghost to the both of them, I still think about them all the time and the impact they had upon me. They helped me grow up. They helped me discover myself....its just im missing the old feelings they gave me. It was so pure then. Now that im a man everything is so different. Im so......currupted now. I feel like i've eatin a fruit from the forbiddin tree and now I can never go back to what it was like before. God, I dont know how to explain the way I feel. I wish, I wish I could go back to when I was 15. I wish I could start over!

im sorry...please no one worry about me, im ok....
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