everybody's waiting
I had a pretty good weekend - went out on Friday night with Alyse and Will and Jose to Sacred Grounds and had a good time till 2 in the morning. Then Saturday, after a good (sales) day at work, I went out with Becky (the girl) to Friday's and we had drinks. I'm really dating impared I think, because I don't have all the signals down. Things went good I think, but it's always hard to tell with me - I sometimes look for more than what is there. Then yesterday, I had the day off and saw The 40 Year Old Virgin (hilarious) and Red Eye (pretty good, but a bit underwhelming) and then went to a party with all the BTG people at this place called Bahama Breeze. It was fun, but I don't think that anyone who doesn't sell blinds would enjoy it, lol.
This morning I watched the last episode of Six Feet Under. This has always been one of my favorite shows, and I will admit I felt really sad as it ended. For a show about death and all, it really celebrated life and the characters were so strong that, well, you get choked up when you find out what happens to them all. It's left me feeling melancholy I think, knowing that everything ends in this life and that we have to make do with what we can and do what makes us happy. Most days I feel like I'm going the right way, but a lot of times I don't know. I see this great big world around me and everyone is finding something in it to propel them, but I still feel stuck on the launch pad. I just want to feel really happy again, feel like there is someone who cares about me, to start a life with someone and experience it with someone else, rather than just me in my head. I know it's coming, I know we all have to pay our dues to get there, but that doesn't mean we can't wish for it to get here faster and faster. To me, it's not coming fast enough.
Alyse talked about on Friday how she is done with the internet thing, done with LJ and all of that. In a way, it makes me sad. We are all growing up and we are all moving on. Taber and Amanda are happy, and his life is changing - not as many movies, not as much time, no one to bounce his sarcasm off of. And me? Well, I'm living the single life alone, save for the cats, and still feeling like adulthood is right around the corner. I realize that this is it - I will work till I can work no more, and hope that things before then will be enough to have made this a life, a life worth really living and celebrating. I know that it will, but sometimes I still feel doubts.
Happy Monday.
This morning I watched the last episode of Six Feet Under. This has always been one of my favorite shows, and I will admit I felt really sad as it ended. For a show about death and all, it really celebrated life and the characters were so strong that, well, you get choked up when you find out what happens to them all. It's left me feeling melancholy I think, knowing that everything ends in this life and that we have to make do with what we can and do what makes us happy. Most days I feel like I'm going the right way, but a lot of times I don't know. I see this great big world around me and everyone is finding something in it to propel them, but I still feel stuck on the launch pad. I just want to feel really happy again, feel like there is someone who cares about me, to start a life with someone and experience it with someone else, rather than just me in my head. I know it's coming, I know we all have to pay our dues to get there, but that doesn't mean we can't wish for it to get here faster and faster. To me, it's not coming fast enough.
Alyse talked about on Friday how she is done with the internet thing, done with LJ and all of that. In a way, it makes me sad. We are all growing up and we are all moving on. Taber and Amanda are happy, and his life is changing - not as many movies, not as much time, no one to bounce his sarcasm off of. And me? Well, I'm living the single life alone, save for the cats, and still feeling like adulthood is right around the corner. I realize that this is it - I will work till I can work no more, and hope that things before then will be enough to have made this a life, a life worth really living and celebrating. I know that it will, but sometimes I still feel doubts.
Happy Monday.