So Fucking Sad
I knew the good mood I wrote about last night was too good to be true. I got in a huge fight with Kale last night and cried a whole ton. I also got an email from Chelsea today and found out she's not coming back from China until October now... and she was initially supposed to come back in March. I started bawling after reading her email, I miss her so fucking much I can't even describe it. My best friend of five years and it'll be practically another year before I get to see her, especially since when she comes back, chances are, I'll be in bloody Victoria! I'm glad things are going well for her over there but I just miss her so bad, she was literally the only person who kept me sane while she was here. I can't even talk to her on the phone or hear her voice. This is so fucking hard. I'm so alone and so depressed... I mean nearly everyone from church ignores me, Kale now hates me, my parents are doing nothing but fighting, my dad keeps guilt tripping me over the cost of Uvic, I mean he can spend $60,000 on his fucking BMW but forget spending $10,000 minus whatever I make this year for his only daughter's dream and education. Kwantlen's strike is pissing me off as I won't even get my first philosophy class until next week now, it's hard to concentrate on school, my profs are all insane, and I have had no luck finding a job. I also keep having nightmares about work, about curtis, about everything. I wish it was September and I was in Victoria. Or even if it was May I'd be happier. I need out of here. I need out. I can't stop crying, and I don't see how things can ever improve if I'm still here. And I sincerely doubt that anyone would notice if I was gone.
I just can't look, it's killing me, it's taking control