Allow me to pull my hair out.
Can somebody explain why people tend to say something, then proceed to just disappear in an instant?
I'm sure I've done it in the past, but that would have been a long time ago, so my memory is a bit fuzzy.
I hate seeing the people I care about do this, because it's like they wanted to get something out, and then they do get whatever they wanted to say out,
but before they give you a chance to reply - boom, they just up and leave...and then it makes me feel upset and worried.
Also, we tend to blame ourselves for things that we aren't actually at fault for. If I say I've never done it at all, I'd be lying. In fact, I've done it recently.
It's funny how the human mind works like that, but I'm just curious as to why other people place the blame upon themselve especially when the actual fault is obvious It's like we
end up so blinded because something drags us so far down that all we can start thinking about is that we must be the ones at fault.
I hate going through this, but it hurts me more when I watch someone else who is close to me go through it. It kills me inside, because I'd much rather put myself in their position and take the pain
that they are having to deal with. (ie essentially taking the bullet for them so that they don't have to hurt.) I wish things worked like that, but I guess, if they did, I might be dead right now simply just
because of my caring nature.
Inner turmoil is something that we all face. I don't actually know how many people are going to read this post, or who will be reading this, but you've more than likely dealt with some inner turmoil, or you are dealing with it right now. It's funny because I know that whoever is reading is probably just like me in a sense of the fact that you're more than likely willing to preach to everyone about how they should just throw their inner turmoil up against a wall, and scream "BITCH! GET OUT. You aren't going to stay in my house (mind) any longer. Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya." Holy run-on sentence, but that's okay since I am just doing a rant of some sort. Anyways, maybe you wouldn't think of it to be so aggressive, but it seems to be true tha we are our own worst enemies.
I am a bit of an optimist when it comes to life and I constantly observe how people act towards everything...seriously. I am majorly surprised by how some people act over the smallest changes in their lives. I know that this post seems to be more multi-purpose-ranty than anything, but I guess it's just because I have a lot on my mind. Ugh. But anyways, observing people has me constantly learning about the different 'types' of people to say the least. I mean, I feel like there are categories that most people can fit in, and they can be considered labels, but putting people in these categories makes talking to them a bit easier. For example, you have the person that's constantly negative, dwells on negativity, and can't seem to find anything positive about their life. You have the person that can find positive things, but they let themselves get mislead so often and end up wandering down such a perilous path in life. There are many other types of people, and of course, they can be put into multiple categories, but one thing still stands everyone matters. I know I've touched on this before in my post directed to those that might be contemplating suicide, or have already contemplated it at one point in their lives, but it's what everything boils down to.
Please stop feeling disappointed in yourself. Yes, we get sad/upset/down. Yes, things happen. But most of you are still rather young and have a long life to live under normal circumstances, just try to keep thinking that things will get better - because they do. I am writing this from the perspective of someone who has had plenty of hills and even fucking mountains in her life to get over, and I have. I'm a badass motherfucker, a soldier, and a smart cookie. I'm also very caring, and I literally just want to shake some of you guys to try to wake you up from the crazy, negative thoughts you're all having. None of us really deserve them, but it seems so hard to battle it out with yourself...simply because we are the ones that know ourselves better than anyone else.
Anyway, I've been going back and forth constantly, but I've ranted my heart out here. Just remember that you guys really aren't let downs, that there will be better days, and that sometimes...you just need to tell your inner turmoil to sit the fuck down.
Best wishes and lots of love,
Kristen/CuddleofDeath
I'm sure I've done it in the past, but that would have been a long time ago, so my memory is a bit fuzzy.
I hate seeing the people I care about do this, because it's like they wanted to get something out, and then they do get whatever they wanted to say out,
but before they give you a chance to reply - boom, they just up and leave...and then it makes me feel upset and worried.
Also, we tend to blame ourselves for things that we aren't actually at fault for. If I say I've never done it at all, I'd be lying. In fact, I've done it recently.
It's funny how the human mind works like that, but I'm just curious as to why other people place the blame upon themselve especially when the actual fault is obvious It's like we
end up so blinded because something drags us so far down that all we can start thinking about is that we must be the ones at fault.
I hate going through this, but it hurts me more when I watch someone else who is close to me go through it. It kills me inside, because I'd much rather put myself in their position and take the pain
that they are having to deal with. (ie essentially taking the bullet for them so that they don't have to hurt.) I wish things worked like that, but I guess, if they did, I might be dead right now simply just
because of my caring nature.
Inner turmoil is something that we all face. I don't actually know how many people are going to read this post, or who will be reading this, but you've more than likely dealt with some inner turmoil, or you are dealing with it right now. It's funny because I know that whoever is reading is probably just like me in a sense of the fact that you're more than likely willing to preach to everyone about how they should just throw their inner turmoil up against a wall, and scream "BITCH! GET OUT. You aren't going to stay in my house (mind) any longer. Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya." Holy run-on sentence, but that's okay since I am just doing a rant of some sort. Anyways, maybe you wouldn't think of it to be so aggressive, but it seems to be true tha we are our own worst enemies.
I am a bit of an optimist when it comes to life and I constantly observe how people act towards everything...seriously. I am majorly surprised by how some people act over the smallest changes in their lives. I know that this post seems to be more multi-purpose-ranty than anything, but I guess it's just because I have a lot on my mind. Ugh. But anyways, observing people has me constantly learning about the different 'types' of people to say the least. I mean, I feel like there are categories that most people can fit in, and they can be considered labels, but putting people in these categories makes talking to them a bit easier. For example, you have the person that's constantly negative, dwells on negativity, and can't seem to find anything positive about their life. You have the person that can find positive things, but they let themselves get mislead so often and end up wandering down such a perilous path in life. There are many other types of people, and of course, they can be put into multiple categories, but one thing still stands everyone matters. I know I've touched on this before in my post directed to those that might be contemplating suicide, or have already contemplated it at one point in their lives, but it's what everything boils down to.
Please stop feeling disappointed in yourself. Yes, we get sad/upset/down. Yes, things happen. But most of you are still rather young and have a long life to live under normal circumstances, just try to keep thinking that things will get better - because they do. I am writing this from the perspective of someone who has had plenty of hills and even fucking mountains in her life to get over, and I have. I'm a badass motherfucker, a soldier, and a smart cookie. I'm also very caring, and I literally just want to shake some of you guys to try to wake you up from the crazy, negative thoughts you're all having. None of us really deserve them, but it seems so hard to battle it out with yourself...simply because we are the ones that know ourselves better than anyone else.
Anyway, I've been going back and forth constantly, but I've ranted my heart out here. Just remember that you guys really aren't let downs, that there will be better days, and that sometimes...you just need to tell your inner turmoil to sit the fuck down.
Best wishes and lots of love,
Kristen/CuddleofDeath