§3 It wasn't for nothing II [REBOOT]
Title: §3 It wasn't for nothing II [original tittle "Heat of the beach", originally aired November 23, 2011]
Collection: Heat of Hawaii
Author: xcsimisiax
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Characters/Pairings: Steve/Danny {but other characters regularly appear}
Notes: It's a reboot of my orginal story, it's time for changes.
Summary: "If it's meant to be, it will be." [Steve's thought]
Content of Note: slash, erotic.
Warinings: Hmmm english isn't my mother language, so remember about this, okay? lol
Rating: r
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't own'em, just borrowed'em to play with. No infringement is intended.
It's not something easy to do, to just leave the truck and join their Ohana like nothing would happen a moment before. Steve still felt how his legs shook, how his palms became sweaty, his heart beat so rapidly that he's afraid that anyone who would just stand next to him, would hear that too. He felt Danny's presence behind his back and it simple drove him crazy, his cologne never worked on Steve that way, but now, the only one thing he wanted more than anything was to push Danny inside the truck again and took him on the wall. Steve sighed big and rubbed his face nervously.
“Jesus, McGarrett, behave man!” Steve muttered under his nose, but when he glanced on Danny, he saw that he's not the only one, who had problem with relax. Danny caught his sight and immediately he hid shaking hands into pockets of his shorts.
“You need something?” He smirked and gave Steve a wink. Danny knew exactly what's going on with Steve. He knew him like the back of his hand, he saw all the signs of excitement and it amused him and gave him a feeling of high. Danny wanted Steve just the same way, like Steve did. And that knowledge drove him crazy even more.
This was really overwhelming feeling to know that they didn't have to hide their feelings anymore, at least toward each other. They could finally stop pretending that they're not in love with each other, they finally could take what they wanted, and gave back as much as the other one needed and longing for. That overpowering feeling made them two the most happy men all over the world, like always at the beginning of the relationship, when two people finally could breathe with a relief, being sure that the other one felt exactly the same. But next to the happiness and being in the clouds, there's also that never ending urge which came from the deepest parts of their hearts and guts. This constant need made that they really easily lost their control over the situation and they simple followed their lust, sometimes without thinking about the consequences. Like Steve in Kawika's office, when he simple followed his lust and released himself, daydreaming about Danny. Fact that they wanted each other for such a long time and they couldn't do anything about that for all these months caused that now, nothing and no one could stop them, besides the lack of self control and the common sense. But even this not always worked, especially when the lust and bitter sweet erection of their hard rock cocks took an upper hand over them.
For someone who didn't know them both and the history of their love, this what they do and how they acted could look or seem fake. How they could need each other so much, how they could be jealous so much about each other and how their love could washed them all over again, if they're together only for few hours? But truth was that this endless love and that overpowering want kept their company almost since the day they met in Steve's garage. For Steve it's love at the first sight, for Danny it took a bit longer to realize how much he loved his partner. And since he never had a luck in a love and everything what's good in his life sooner or later simple blew up, he's scared to believe that it could have any sense. Especially that Steve was a man and his best friend and Danny, along with Steve, never was in a relationship with any man his entire life. But now, when he stood behind Steve back, when he could see sand on his sweaty skin, when he could see sweat drops rolling down his spine, the only one feeling he cherished into his heart was love. Overwhelming, overpowering, breathtaking love. The biggest he ever felt.
But Danny still remembered how he felt during all these months, when he's in love with Steve and he wasn't sure if he felt the same about him. How much it hurt when he saw Steve with Catherine, his friend from Navy, because every time she showed up, it always meant that they would end in a bed. And on a bare thought about Steve having sex with someone else, Danny's blood simple boiled and a pure madness took an upper hand over him. He couldn't help it, he couldn't stop it, that's why he avoided any meeting with that woman, as much as he could and that's also the reason why he tried do not spend too much time with Steve at these days. It just hurt too much and that's something, with what Danny couldn't deal easily. Steve also didn't have an easy life with Danny's love life. He never could understand why Danny let his ex-wife into his life once again few weeks back, even he knew very well how much she hurt him, how she shattered him into pieces when they got divorce. But still in front of Steve's face, Danny came back to Rachel and the worse was that he even expected some kind of blessing from Steve's side. Like his “Congratulations!” could change anything into Danny's life, like he'd not see how much Steve suffered. So even that love was one of the most amazing things what ever happened to them, sometimes instead of a happiness, it gave them bunch of pain and suffocating hopelessness.
Living in the lie, without a chance to be with the only one person, who their hearts chose, was tough nut to crack. But they did this, they survived this time and now, when they could finally be together, there's nothing more important than this fact. That's the reason why they thought about each other all the time, that's why Danny got pissed in the car, and then simple couldn't move out, after he could hear Steve's voice again. That's also the reason why Steve almost burnt alive on the beach and then in Kawika's office, letting himself to blow the tension up. It caused that Danny's blood simple boiled like a waterfall, when he suspected that something could happen between Steve and Kono. Saying that this love drove them crazy, took their breaths away and left them speechless, wasn't even in the nearby of the truth. For now it wasn't matter anymore how long they had to wait for each other, through what they had to go to find themselves into each others arms. Nothing was more matter, than here and now and the love what finally blew up walls of their hearts washed them all over. If anyone would ask them about that, they'd have to admit that this sensation, that affection was like the biggest, the most annoying addiction they ever experienced. And everything reached the highest level in a moment when Steve's lips for the first time crashed onto Danny's, just after he licked the remnant of Danny's malasadas from the corner of his mouth.
The moment when Steve and Danny left the truck, all of the lunch participants held their heads up intrigued and fixed their eyes onto the two of them. Before the situation became a really embarrassing one, since they both looked more like after some kind of tete'a'tete than just a simple talk about work or Gracie, the silence was broken by unexpected guest.
“Hey! There you guys are!” Mary Ann stood up from the bench and waved her hand at Steve and Danny.
“I didn’t know your sister was in a town.” Danny said and since he’s half behind Steve’s back, he briefly brushed the small of his back, lingering fingertips into little curls of his over there, imagining how it'd be if he could reach this place with his tongue and then also his lips. Before he could even realize what he's doing, Steve put his arm behind his back and grabbed Danny's fingers. For a second time simple froze, when they stroked each others, telling without words how much they needed and wanted each other. Behind this simple movement they hid the real feelings, the love which they felt, but weren't still ready to name it. It's too soon to say this loud, but actions sometimes spoke louder, than the most beautiful words. They both could sense this at that moment.
“Neither did I.” Steve answered finally, looking at Mary completely surprised. For the last time he brushed Danny's palm on his back and then put hands into his shorts pockets. Before boys reached the table, Mary came closer to greet both of them.
“I just told the rest of the gang that I've been looking for you two for over an hour. You weren't home, so I figured out I'd check your favorite little surf spot. But you’re not there, plus when I got back home and checked it more carefully I found wet towel and clothes in the laundry, both of your surfboards where on the lanai, I guess you left them there to dry out, so since you’re not there and not down the shore, I took my last shot. So here I am. Surprise!” Mary said and closed Steve into a really bear hug, snuggling up to him. She missed her big brother in last few weeks so she’s truly happy that she could finally see him again, along with his grouchy partner. There’s something into Danny what always made her pissed and amused at the same time, she simple loved the guy but if she’s right, someone loved him much more, and she's dying to get finally some details about that.
“What are you doing here, Mare?” Steve asked giving her hug back and eyeing her up and down, when she freed herself from his embrace. She looked different, not cuz of a new shorter hair style or lighter make up, but she’s wearing the stewardess clothes on her. Besides he didn't miss that she fixed her gaze onto Danny's crotch and then switched her sight onto Steve's one, and then on her face popped up a knowing, cocky smile. Steve wanted just to scream.
“Where she's looking at?! On Danny's crotch?! On his own?!” Questions popped up in his mind with the full force and before he'd blow up and yell hear head off, he followed her glance and froze.
“Oh damn it!” Steve thought rolling his eyes when he realized what she really spotted when she glanced on Danny's crotch. He bit his down lip trying to do not burst out laughing and then he caught Danny's sight. First Danny didn't know what about it was, but then Steve fixed his gaze onto Danny's crotch, like Mary did it a moment before and then lightly shook his head into Mary's direction. Danny wrinkled his forehead and squinted his eyes and then looked down at his pants. He's not only erected but also the front of his shorts was covered by one not too small spot of Steve's pre-cum.
“Holy shit!” Danny muttered under his nose and snapped his head up looking at Steve irritated.
“Yeah cuz that's my fault too...” Steve got the thought and smirked. He moved his body the way that he hid Danny behind his back and gave him a chance to do something about the “problem”. When he glanced over his shoulder for a second, he almost fainted. Danny leant over his crotch licking his finger and then brushed the spot. Steve swallowed hard, when he saw how Danny cleaned the spot with his saliva and then simple put his finger to his mouth, tasting Steve's cum without any kind of a shame.
“Bastard!” Steve muttered under his nose, when Danny gave him a wink with an evil, huge smile, which brightened his blue eyes. Before Steve would lose the lack of his common sense, he looked back on his sister's face and focused on her, trying to erase the image of Danny who's sucking on his finger with a pleasure.
“What does it look like I'm doing here?” Mary Ann asked and burst out laughing, turning around cheerfully.
“It looks like you're, um, going to a Halloween party dressed as a flight attendant.” Steve said, a surprise was evident on his face and colored also his voice. Especially when Danny moved a bit closer to him and simple grabbed his right buttock, digging his fingers deeper when he felt like Steve tensed under his touch and shiver ran up and down his spine. Steve knew that in a moment he'd make a fool of himself in front of his family, since his cock started to harden more and more with every single beat of his heart. Kono didn't miss anything, she carefully watched how Mary made a fuss about the meeting, especially that both - Steve and Danny - acted truly weird. Besides did she Mary just said that guys not only lived together, but also surfed? Kono knew that Danny tried to get a lesson about surfing, she's even his teacher for a while, and it looked like back then, he hadn't the faintest idea about surfing. And now, a year after, he surfed with Steve? Kono was really lost in her thoughts but still, she followed the talk sharp, trying to figure out what the hell was going on around her. Cuz that there's something behind, she's pretty sure about that. She just needed to find out what exactly before her head would simple blow up cuz of too many scenarios.
“Come on, seriously?” Mary asked and smile reached not only her face, but also her eyes.
“You're working for the airlines?” Steve asked reaching Mary again and pulling her closer to himself, it’s so good to feel her again into his arms. Safe, sound, and so happy. That’s something new and he couldn’t help the big sigh what left his mouth, sending a silent thankful prayer for that fact above the sky. And also for the fact that Danny finally stopped playing a goof and just like Steve moved closer to Mary. But he wouldn't be himself if he wouldn't pinch Steve's buttock, before he finally gave up on teasing. Steve just bit his down lip before he'd gasp and made a fool of himself in front of everybody but he swore himself that he'd take a revenge on Danny for his foreplay.
“Yes! It's the coolest job ever. I started like two weeks ago, and they gave me the O`ahu to New York run. I'm going to be flying back and forth like twice a week. We can hang out during my layovers. How sweet is that?” Mary asked and brushed gently Steve’s cheek, she could sense easily his five o’clock shadow what tickled her fingertips and made her smirk. She felt like a happiness would simple blow her heart any minute. She could easily see how happy Steve's. It's simple radiating from him. The same excitement and joy she noticed as well from Danny's side. Even if Mary would want to she couldn't deny, that her brother and his partner were something much more than just friends and she's willing to do everything to get a proof of it. Or better, a love confession.
They didn’t even notice that whole Ohana watched them with the biggest grins on their faces, having a true fun cuz of their conversation. Kono all the time backed in her head to this what Mary just said.
“Favorite little surf spot? What does it mean anyway? They not only live together but now suddenly they’re also surfing together? What else?” Kono asked herself on and on, eyeing sharp both Danny and Steve since they left the truck. She didn’t miss the fact that Steve pulled Kamekona’s shirt on his arm, and that Danny suddenly hid himself behind his back, like he’d want to cover something. They both looked like they’d just wake up, and if she’s correct, Danny got a fresh hickey on his pulse point.
“What the hell is going on between these two?!” She asked herself like a thousand time in last few weeks and looked back at the plate. She’s curious, that’s the truth, but she didn’t want let them know that she sniffed something. But then she felt a palm on her own and when she held her head up, she saw how Chin nodded slowly at her, brushing the soft skin on her hand.
“So I’m not the only one here…” She got the thought and gently smile reached her reddish lips, ending up on Chin's face.
“Pretty sweet. Right?” Danny asked and knocked everybody out their thinking. He smiled from an ear to an ear, for some unknown reason he truly liked McSister. She always brought to Steve’s life a mess, that’s the truth, but at the same time, she was a cause why he smiled a lot and looked happy. And that’s something what’s worth any teasing from Mary's side, what he always got when she’s in the nearby of him. Steve just shrugged his shoulders and smiled amused. It’s more than he could ask for. His Ohana was together, having a normal chilling time; eating, teasing and making jokes around. There's only one person missing over there, but he knew that only one call, and Joe would join them with a blink of his eyes. He never said this loud but he loved to be back on O`ahu and be again a part of Steve’s life. Steve could only hope that he’d stay there for a longer time. They didn’t speak about that much, reason was that Steve’s too afraid to hear that in a two or three weeks Joe would package his stuffs and leave Hawaii again.
“Come here. Come one.” Danny opened his arms and with a huge, light grin on his face he’s waiting for Mary to reach his arms finally. Mary burst out laughing and snuggled up to Danny, who closed her into his arms and held even stronger, causing that she almost suffocated.
“Hey!” She smirked amused patting his back.
“Hey!” Danny answered and trembled when she pinched his upper arm.
“Ouch!” Danny chuckled and stroked his skin, what started to become a bit reddish.
“You both are just neanderthal animals!” Danny teased siblings, when Mary freed herself from his arms and went back to the table siting on her place.
Kamekona stood up and brought more food, fresh, hot shrimps never tasted that good and all of them were truly thankful that he shared his goodies with them. From time to time he stood up and worked like usually, but then he came back to the table and enjoy the time with his family. Steve sat between Mary Ann and Gracie, Danny sat between Gracie and Kono. They didn’t make it for purpose, but somehow they both know that’d be better for their own and the rest of them sake. It didn’t stop them from looking at each other almost all time, losing themselves into the pools of their eyes. Laugh and sound of their voices fulfilled that spot of the beach, causing that people looked at them with smiles, sensing how close they’re and how much they love each other. Gracie started her story about surfing for something like fifth time already but no one minded this at all. They all were so proud of Monkey, that even they knew that story very well by now, they still made all the “Oh” and “Ah” in a right moments, laughing and joking all over again.
“Keiko just try to focus more on your meal, ok?” Kame suggested and gave Gracie a small shrimp, which looked more like "fish stick" and that’s a moment when she stopped to twitter and focused more on eating. That’s also the moment when Kamekona spotted his shirt on Steve’s arm.
“Are you going to put this on your warrior chest, braddah? Or you’re just going to walk around with that shirt on your arm? Cuz no matter what’s your plan, you own me for this. Love you my haole brother from another mother but hey, business is business.” Kame said and scratched his bold head. Everybody just stared at him and then burst out laughing. Steve grabbed the shirt from his arm and pulled it down, covering his chest, causing that Danno sighed big unintentionally, what immediately brought Kono’s attention.
“Interesting.” She murmured under her nose and looked at Danny with a disbelief.
“You’re unbelievable brah!” Steve smirked and gave Kame money from his back pocket.
“Hey but back to this, what I spotted inside the house, so you guys are like surf buddies now, huh?” Mary said but something in her glowing face and the way how her lips bent in a smile gave a hint to Danny and Steve that she sniffed something. They both didn’t know what exactly she found out at the house, but no matter what’s that, there’s nothing what could immediately brought her to the thought, that they’re together. They're sure about that. No condoms all around the house, not one bed with messed up sheets, for now at least. They both looked into each others eyes, knowing perfectly well that they thought about the same. But no matter if she had reasons or not, she still looked like she’s sure about that, and that certainty made her truly amused.
Steve looked at Danny confused, didn’t know what he should say, how he should react on her words, and the most surprising was that Danny smiled at him back, like he’d agree with telling Mary the truth. Steve for a moment simple lost it, he felt like he's drowning, he needed to talk with Danny, he needed to ask him what he should answer his sister, but he couldn't. And his smile made that Steve got mixed up with the situation, and instead of explaining anything, Steve just blushed and muttered under his nose.
“Uh, yeah, kind of…” In a place of looking at Mary, he just leant over the table and grabbed bottle of a beer, trying to look as much natural, as he could, avoiding not only his sister's eyes, but also Danny's. But when he moved back on his char, he caught Danny’s glance and he froze. Grimace what’s fading away from Danny's face ached Steve’s heart.
“Damn it.” Steve thought and sat back heavily. He knew he probably made a really huge mistake, but in the other hand, they didn’t even have a chance to talk about this what happened between them and what they would want to do about that. It’s not a time to state their feelings in front of their family, since they didn’t even make it completely clear between the two of them.
“So cute.” Mary said and smile reached again her emerald eyes, making her face shinning even more. She acted like she wouldn't sense the tension which showed up between her brother and Danny, but she knew better. It's not a time for a talk like that, and for sure it's not time for a love confession, something happened between boys lately and it looked like they didn't have a chance to wrap their heads about that.
“I couldn't choose better time to show up here.” Mary got the thought and brushed gently Steve's cheek, trying to calm him down, giving the sign she's with him. And maybe even he didn't know the reason behind her simple move, he still was thankful for that, covering her palm by his own and nodded his head slowly.
“Surf buddies… Yeah, right, my ass.” Kono muttered under her nose and felt like Chin squeezed her thigh.
“Easy cuz…” He whispered and gave her a wink. Kono just rolled her eyes and pinched Chin's palm with an evil smile on her beautiful, exotic face.
“Why didn’t you call me?” Steve asked and opened his bottle with a steady hit the cap on the edge of the table. He knew that he's in a real troubles with Danny, but still, he hoped that they could talk about this and make things better later. He had to hold onto this thought, if he wanted to survive this lunch.
“Better watch out, brah, or you will pay also for that!” Kame said and shook his head indignant, when he saw how Steve opened his beer.
“Chill out, Uncle Kame.” Gracie said with serious look of her face, standing and covering Steve with her little chest, like she'd want to defend him with all who she's. Everybody looked at her amused and then simple burst out laughing loudly.
“Gracie, Sweetheart, watch your language and go back to eat, after this morning over the board you need to gather all your Monkey's power back, our little surfer girl.” Kono smirked and pinched gently Gracie’s nose, making that she burst out laughing along with her family, keeping her belly, trying to do not fell from the chair. But she didn't have to worry about that at all cuz steady arms of her father, kept her on one place, safe and sound. Danny snuggled up to Gracie and for a moment he hid his face into her hair, he needed this opportunity to calm down his rapidly beating heart. Steve's answer hurt him, more than he'd be able to admit.
“Why I didn't call you? Dahh because I wanted to surprise you, bro!” Mary said and brushed Steve’s cheek, cleaning it from some remnant of the shrimp.
“Look at him. He’s definitely surprised.” Danny finally opened his mouth, and even he tried to keep a poker face, his eyes betrayed him, at least toward Steve. He felt hurt and Steve knew where’s the reason of it, but before he’d sunk himself into the sense of guilty, he focused again onto Mary, giving in the meantime Gracie a new shrimp stick, stealing the rest of the previous one. Gracie smiled even bigger and snuggled to his side.
“In a good way. In a good way.” Steve said thoughtful and kissed the top of Gracie’s head before she focused on eating again. Danny couldn’t help and smiled at this view, not matter how hurt he felt, the view of Steve and his daughter never failed to move him.
“So a stewardess, how exactly did that happen?” Steve asked and pulled Mary’s hair behind her left ear, cherishing his eyes with the view of his happy sister.
“Uh, well, my friend Angela worked for the airlines, and she knew I needed a job, so here I am. And, by the way, we like to be called flight attendants.” Mary said brushing his dark short hair, before she leant back on her bench.
„I knew that.” Danny said and gave Mary Ann a wink. She smiled from an ear to ear at him and then looked back at Steve.
„Are you, uh... are you staying on the island for a while?” Steve said, a hesitation what's evident into his voice, brought Danny's and Kono's attention immediately. Danny knew why Steve asked the question, because before he threw his words out, he glanced at Danny nervously. Kono could only suppose about what this whole conversation was anyway.
“Actually, no. I'm working the return flight back to New York, so soon I need to go.” Mary said and smiled at upset brother.
„You just got here.” Steve whispered and surprised not only Danny but also Mary Ann and himself with this statement. Of course Danny could understand the fact that Steve’s happy that his sister’s on the O`ahu again and he got upset that he had to say goodbye so fast to her, but still in the other hand, he couldn’t get why Steve's so sad because of the fact that Mary won't stay too long on the island.
“Maybe he wants to get rid of me… Maybe he wants to give me a sign that’s time to move out… Damn it, he just don't want anyone to know we're together…” Danny got the thought and the way how he looked at Steve, simple took Steve's breath away. Pain simple colored Danny’s eyes on a navy blue color, fulfilled them with a sorrow and a disbelief. Steve swallowed hard feeling that something went really wrong there and he didn't have any idea what exactly. Before he looked back at his sister, he caught Kono’s and Chin’s glances. Something in their eyes made him feel truly uncomfortable.
“Jesus Christ, what the hell just happened over here?!” Steve got the thought and sighed big, touching Mary's cheek gently.
“You know sis, that our house will be always yours too, that's not going to change ever. And every time you will be here, you can always come over there, okay?” Steve asked and stroked softly Mary’s cheek, smiling at her sadly, knowing perfectly well that sometimes it’s better to let the love ones to live for their own, even it could hurt.
“Hey, hey what's with this sad face, bro, I'll see you guys in, like, three days. No need for a mourning, okay?”
“Okay then.” Steve smiled and held his head up, when he saw how Danny stood up suddenly and walked to his car, kissing Gracie’s head before he got out the table.
“I’ll be right back, don't go anywhere Mare, okay?” Steve said and brushed Gracie’s hair, when she looked up at him and smile reached again not only her face, but also her blue like Danny’s eyes.
„No probs, Steve...” Mary said and something in her eyes made, that Steve got the feeling she knew why he wanted to follow Danny.
„That's impossible. Isn't?” Steve asked himself and joined Danny on the parking lot.
“What's matter with you, buddy?” Steve asked and leant onto the mask of the Camaro, he could feel easily how tensed and simple pissed of Danny was and he's felt truly worried about that. He didn’t want to make a scene in front of their Ohana but he also didn’t want to let Danny stay in a shape like this for a longer term. Steve knew Danny too well to not be aware of the simple fact that if he'd leave Danny with his own feelings alone, things would look only worse. He needed to talk with Danny, they needed to talk and make everything clear between them. And Steve could only hope, that Danny felt the same.
“Nothing is matter with me ... Steven.” Danny hissed as an answer and peeped inside the car, trying to figure out where the hell he left his wallet, prying silently that he didn’t lose him somewhere during the day. Steve for a moment lingering his eyes onto Danny’s butt, he couldn’t see much since he sat on the mask with crossed arms on his chest, so he came closer to the front door of the car and leant his arm on the top of it. That way he could see everything, for what he’s longing for a whole day, shamelessly.
“Could you stop stare at my ass? Since when you’re such an open person when things come to the two of us, huh?! It’s you, not me, who few minutes back almost begged Mary to stay on O`ahu just to get a rid of me, so back off, okay? Just back off, man…” Danny couldn’t stop words what left his mouth. The moment he said them, he immediately saw how pain simple washed Steve’s eyes, watered them a bit. He couldn’t guess if he saw tears into the two hazel-blue pools of Steve’s or it’s just his imagination, but he could easily feel how badly he hurt him. Steve for a moment simple tried to fight for an air, like a diver, who lost an oxygen under the water. He took a step back and simple stared at Danny with slightly open mouth, trying to wrap his head around this, what he just heard.
“You? Are you serious here?” Steve finally managed to ask the question and took a step toward Danny leaning over him to reach his eyes.
“How could you ever assume something like that, Danny? How the hell? Care you tell me!?” Steve raised his voice but still he kept cool, cuz he really didn't want to fight with Danny, especially when the rest of their family sat not too far away from them.
“Oh yeah, right, put this on me, Steven! Excuse me, but I wasn’t the one who said that! It's you, man!” Danny hissed and banged the Camaro’s door, pointing at Steve who instinctively covered him by his body. He truly wanted to save them a scene in a public place, but it looked like Danny didn’t care about the people or anyone else for that matter, being too mad and disappointed to think straight.
“Yeah? Who said what? What are you talking about, Danny? What did I say!? Huh!?” Steve asked and two wrinkles crossed his forehead like always when he’s thoughtful or something truly bothering him. Danny usually wanted to simple brush them away with his goofy thumbs or kiss them better, few hours back he’d even be able to make it. Now he felt like he didn’t have any rights for that anymore and it simple sucked the air from his lungs.
“Oh yeah, cuz you don’t know about what I’m talking ... Right, my ass… But okay, if you want to play a dumb here… Care you tell me what did mean this what you said Mary Ann about us? So we are kind of surf buddies now? That’s who I’m for you? A buddy with whom you can go down the shore and chase some waves? Seriously Steven?!” Danny hissed madly and his shaky voice betrayed the pain he's caring into his heart.
"So now… Are you sensitive right now? Now?”! Steve asked and something in his voice made that this time Danny snapped out of his ranting and looked into Steve’s eyes sharp.
“Yeah, matter of fact, yeah I'm a sensitive, a little bit.” Danny said and Steve didn’t know if that’s an ironic joke, or a statement. But when he checked Danny’s eyes, when he slipped down and saw how his hands were still shaking, he got his answer. And he got pissed, because if Danny felt hurt about this what he said to Mary Ann, he's not fair with his reaction, not right like at all, since neither of them had a chance to talk about their being together since the morning. And now it looked like Danny expected from him some kind of a public love declaration, even he didn't make one as well.
“You blame me for this, me?!” Steve asked and brushed his hair impatiently. He felt like Danny simple slipped out from his hands and Steve’s terrified that he’d not be able to stop him. But more than this, Steve felt simple shattered that Danny could assume that he’d be able to feel ashamed of the love their share. When Steve let his thoughts won the battle with his heart, he realized that from this what Danny just said, it looked like he accused Steve of something what he’d never be able to do. Never.
“How he could even say something like that, how…?” Steve kept asking himself and still tried to pull himself together at least to the shape when he’d be able to say something and then simple walk away. He needed to get away from that place, far away from Danny, their family, people around, he needed to run away before the pain would suffocate him. Danny’s the love of his life, and he cherished this feeling since months now, maybe even since beginning, but he’s too scared and too alone with his affection, that he was too afraid to admit even in front of himself, how much he cared about Danny. But he never ever was ashamed of that love. He never ever would do that to Danny, cuz he loved him too much to be able to make it. The only one person who could push him to take a step back was Gracie and still he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to give up on that love, on Danny, even for her. And now he realized that Danny thought he's nothing more than a coward, who didn’t have balls to act on his feelings. And it's totally insane. Steve’s the one who welcomed Danny into his life, he’s the one who opened his door for him and his daughter. Door of his house, but also door of his heart. He’s always the one who supported Danny with his fight with Rachel about time with Gracie, he’s the one who’s always there for Danny, every time he needed him. He’s the one who finally took a header and kissed Danny. He did this, not Danny, and now as a payback Danny simple stubbed his heart, leaving it to bleed out.
“Who I suppose to blame? Myself?! You’re the one who took a step back and simple pretended that there’s nothing serious between the two of us… Am I suppose to say ‘thank you’ for that?!” Danny asked and pushed Steve’s chest by his index finger.
“I didn’t pretend anything, Danny…” Steve said and his voice sounded surprisingly low. Danny felt like a shiver ran up and down his spine and his hands started to shake again. Fear sneaked into his heart and made it to beat rapidly. Something went wrong, something went so damn badly not right, that Danny simple sensed this with every pore of his body.
“Make this once again and I'll break your finger. One warning take your damn finger out of my face.” Steve looked at Danno and waited for his move. He still couldn't believe that a moment before this finger brushed his lower back, that finger dug into his butt driving him crazy. Now this finger pointed at him with a pain and madness behind it.
“Excuse me?! That’s it?! That’s all what you have to say to me?!” Danny hissed but this time he didn’t push Steve, he just stared at him. Pain of his broken heart reflected into Steve’s eyes.
“I have no idea why you attack me, Danny. Honestly. I don’t have fucking idea why you act like last moron, accusing me about all the evil things you can only come up with. But I’m done with this, you hear me? I’m done. I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing. Just nothing, Danny...” Before Danny was able to open his mouth Steve continued.
“I spent two hours without you and I almost got crazy because of that, I was so turned on and I missed you so badly that I simple wanked myself into our friend’s office cuz without this? I’d die of longing for you. You fulfilled every single pore of my body, you blew up my mind, you stole my heart, and the only thing I was able to think about what, was you… Damn it’s you… Only you… Always you! Because you're the one who got into my bloodstream! Love to you my heart simple pumps with every single beat of it! I was so damn naive, so fucking stupid with my thinking that you feel the same. That the love I have for you, is in your heart too…” Steve said and his voice broke down. He felt like betraying tears threatening him that they would simple fall down, washing his cheeks, making his shirt soaking wet. Making him even bigger fool, than he felt right now. He desperately tried to catch a breath, but he couldn't. He simple couldn't make it.
“Steve…” Danny tried to say something, he felt like he started to simple suffocating, the pain was too big too deal with it, the fear simple paralyzed his whole body, he could only blink in disbelief, praying silently that it’s not the end, that there’s a chance to make it right, to turn back all the words and pain what they caused. What he caused to Steve. Steve's love declaration, this all what he said about his feelings toward Danny simple blew Danny's heart and mind up and away. If circumstances would look different, he'd jump into Steve's arms and kiss him like there would be no tomorrow for neither of them. He'd tear his shirt on him, reaching Steve's heart with his teeth and a tongue. Now he could only eyed him, trying to do not burst out in crying, when he saw how shattered Steve felt.
“Don’t okay? Just don’t… You said enough, Danny. Yes, you did and I’m done with this. I have no idea how you could even assume that I’d betray you or would be ashamed of you… You know what I feel to you, God, don't fool me or yourself, you knew this since beginning, since always... and this morning I believed that finally after all these months of pain, we deserved for a happiness... For a second I believed that it can work, that it's the true, you love me… Now? Now I just want to hide myself into the darkest hole feeling like the biggest idiot ever, you fooled me Danny… God you broke my damn heart, you bastard…” Steve whispered and blinked back stubborn tears which showed up in the corner of his eyes.
“And I wanted to ask you, to stay in my place not for a part-time when you try to find a new place for yourself... I, this stupid moron, wanted to ask you to stay with me, live with me, as a my partner, my friend, my lover…” Steve whispered and turned around to walk away. But before he really made it, he looked for the last time over his shoulder.
“The only one reason why I asked Mary about this if she’s gonna stay longer on O`ahu was that I miss her, and I’m happy to see her again on the island. My house always will be also her house, we both grew up there, you know this damn perfectly well. But I also know my sister, and I know that if she’d know that we’re together, she’d never ever come across us, never. But now it’s not matter anymore.” Steve said in such a low voice, that he wasn’t even sure that Danny heard him at the end.
He took a step back, then another, he rubbed his face impatiently, and then simple left Danny behind his back. He knew that if he’d stay there a moment longer he’d simple burst out crying like some teenage girl crying her heart out after the captain of the football team, and he couldn’t let that happen. He fooled himself enough, there’s no need to make it even worse.
“Oh my God…” Danny muttered under his nose and covered eyes with his palms.
“What the hell I just did…” He whispered and before he could stop this, he felt under his palms a single, hot tear drop, which fell down on his cheek, burning his skin in the process, ending under his shirt, wetting it in few places.
“Guys I need to go now. Duty calls, I have a meeting with Governor.” Steve said and swallowed hard trying to keep cool for his own sake. He truly didn’t want to make them worried or let them wonder what exactly happened. Steve wasn’t even able to turn around and look at Danny, so he didn’t see that Danny hid his face behind his palms, siting on the mask of his car, trying to calm himself down.
But someone did. Mary eyed her brother up and down and then her glance backed on Danny. She didn't know what about they both talked but effect of that conversation gave her an answer, she was looking for. And she knew that Steve would need now someone to drink with, to let it go, to forget. And even Mary Ann loved her brother to the fullest, she knew that not sister he needed the most now. Steve kissed Gracie's head. She grabbed his right palm and for a second their eyes met. It couldn't be the truth but for a second he saw in Monkey's blue pools an understanding.
“That’s not possible.” He got the thought and kissed Gracie's head again before he looked up at Chin and Kono. They both observed his moves carefully, trying to figure out what the hell happened, that he looked like an underdog. And somehow even the same like Mary or Gracie, they didn't know the reason, they still felt what about it's. And suddenly they all felt sorry for Steve, and for Danny, who they spotted still next to Camaro, completely shattered.
“We'll meet tomorrow morning on HQ.” Steve said and when Chin nodded his head as an answer, Steve nodded back at the both of them with Kono and then slowly walked to his car.
“Wait a second for me, okay?” Mary asked, when she reached Steve touching his arm.
“Yeah, sure, but make it fast, okay?” Steve asked and his low voice and eyes fulfilled by the sadness simple ached her heart.
“You bet!” She smirked, trying to light a bit up his upset face, and kissed his cheek briefly.
Steve didn’t care, or at least he tried to convince himself that he didn’t care if Danny was still next to the Camaro or he joined the rest of Ohana. He tried also do not care about this what about they’re thinking now, or what Danny told them, the moment he reached the table. The only one thing about what he could think about was to get away from that place as fast and as far as he could. He got inside the car and then he held his head up. Even Silverado has darker glass what helped to keep privacy inside the car, it didn't have anything to do with this, what Steve could spot. He saw Danny how he slowly got back to the table, and how he turned his head to the side where Silverado was parked and he stared at the front glass window, knowing perfectly well that Steve did the same. Maybe he couldn't see Steve, but he felt him, he always did. But then Danny bowed his head and his lips reached Gracie’s head, almost on the same side, where before Steve kissed her. Steve’s not sure but it looked like Danny closed his eyes for a moment, like he would want to take some calmness and strength from his daughter, the only one bright thing in his life. In their both lives. Kono asked him something, Chin touched his arm.
“Why didn't I take my lesson when he got back with Rachel? Why didn't I take this damn lesson, that when things get high, he always stepped back? God, why I'm such a naive idiot always getting myself hurt?!” Steve punched the wheel.
“Because I damn love this moron!” He sighed big and brushed his hair impatiently. He didn’t know what he should think about this what happened few minutes back. He’s too scared to admit himself that it’s over. Steve didn't want to deal with this, he didn't want to believe that it could be the truth.
“If it's meant to be, it will be...” Steve muttered under his nose, when Danno once again held his head up and looked straight into direction of Silverado.
Mary Ann knocked Steve out his thinking the moment when she opened and then slammed the car door with a full force.
“Woman, watch out!” Steve hissed and looked at her surprised.
“I prefer when you're pissed McGarrett, than upset Stevie, so better put the engine on, and just go, bro!” She commanded, knowing perfectly well about what he’s thinking.
“Roger that!” Steve sighed big and left the parking lot with a screech of tyres. If his broken heart could truly bleed out, there would be a very real red spot on a place, where Silverado was parked for a while.
← §3 It wasn't for nothing I [REBOOT]
Collection: Heat of Hawaii
Author: xcsimisiax
Fandom: Hawaii Five-0
Characters/Pairings: Steve/Danny {but other characters regularly appear}
Notes: It's a reboot of my orginal story, it's time for changes.
Summary: "If it's meant to be, it will be." [Steve's thought]
Content of Note: slash, erotic.
Warinings: Hmmm english isn't my mother language, so remember about this, okay? lol
Rating: r
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't own'em, just borrowed'em to play with. No infringement is intended.
It's not something easy to do, to just leave the truck and join their Ohana like nothing would happen a moment before. Steve still felt how his legs shook, how his palms became sweaty, his heart beat so rapidly that he's afraid that anyone who would just stand next to him, would hear that too. He felt Danny's presence behind his back and it simple drove him crazy, his cologne never worked on Steve that way, but now, the only one thing he wanted more than anything was to push Danny inside the truck again and took him on the wall. Steve sighed big and rubbed his face nervously.
“Jesus, McGarrett, behave man!” Steve muttered under his nose, but when he glanced on Danny, he saw that he's not the only one, who had problem with relax. Danny caught his sight and immediately he hid shaking hands into pockets of his shorts.
“You need something?” He smirked and gave Steve a wink. Danny knew exactly what's going on with Steve. He knew him like the back of his hand, he saw all the signs of excitement and it amused him and gave him a feeling of high. Danny wanted Steve just the same way, like Steve did. And that knowledge drove him crazy even more.
This was really overwhelming feeling to know that they didn't have to hide their feelings anymore, at least toward each other. They could finally stop pretending that they're not in love with each other, they finally could take what they wanted, and gave back as much as the other one needed and longing for. That overpowering feeling made them two the most happy men all over the world, like always at the beginning of the relationship, when two people finally could breathe with a relief, being sure that the other one felt exactly the same. But next to the happiness and being in the clouds, there's also that never ending urge which came from the deepest parts of their hearts and guts. This constant need made that they really easily lost their control over the situation and they simple followed their lust, sometimes without thinking about the consequences. Like Steve in Kawika's office, when he simple followed his lust and released himself, daydreaming about Danny. Fact that they wanted each other for such a long time and they couldn't do anything about that for all these months caused that now, nothing and no one could stop them, besides the lack of self control and the common sense. But even this not always worked, especially when the lust and bitter sweet erection of their hard rock cocks took an upper hand over them.
For someone who didn't know them both and the history of their love, this what they do and how they acted could look or seem fake. How they could need each other so much, how they could be jealous so much about each other and how their love could washed them all over again, if they're together only for few hours? But truth was that this endless love and that overpowering want kept their company almost since the day they met in Steve's garage. For Steve it's love at the first sight, for Danny it took a bit longer to realize how much he loved his partner. And since he never had a luck in a love and everything what's good in his life sooner or later simple blew up, he's scared to believe that it could have any sense. Especially that Steve was a man and his best friend and Danny, along with Steve, never was in a relationship with any man his entire life. But now, when he stood behind Steve back, when he could see sand on his sweaty skin, when he could see sweat drops rolling down his spine, the only one feeling he cherished into his heart was love. Overwhelming, overpowering, breathtaking love. The biggest he ever felt.
But Danny still remembered how he felt during all these months, when he's in love with Steve and he wasn't sure if he felt the same about him. How much it hurt when he saw Steve with Catherine, his friend from Navy, because every time she showed up, it always meant that they would end in a bed. And on a bare thought about Steve having sex with someone else, Danny's blood simple boiled and a pure madness took an upper hand over him. He couldn't help it, he couldn't stop it, that's why he avoided any meeting with that woman, as much as he could and that's also the reason why he tried do not spend too much time with Steve at these days. It just hurt too much and that's something, with what Danny couldn't deal easily. Steve also didn't have an easy life with Danny's love life. He never could understand why Danny let his ex-wife into his life once again few weeks back, even he knew very well how much she hurt him, how she shattered him into pieces when they got divorce. But still in front of Steve's face, Danny came back to Rachel and the worse was that he even expected some kind of blessing from Steve's side. Like his “Congratulations!” could change anything into Danny's life, like he'd not see how much Steve suffered. So even that love was one of the most amazing things what ever happened to them, sometimes instead of a happiness, it gave them bunch of pain and suffocating hopelessness.
Living in the lie, without a chance to be with the only one person, who their hearts chose, was tough nut to crack. But they did this, they survived this time and now, when they could finally be together, there's nothing more important than this fact. That's the reason why they thought about each other all the time, that's why Danny got pissed in the car, and then simple couldn't move out, after he could hear Steve's voice again. That's also the reason why Steve almost burnt alive on the beach and then in Kawika's office, letting himself to blow the tension up. It caused that Danny's blood simple boiled like a waterfall, when he suspected that something could happen between Steve and Kono. Saying that this love drove them crazy, took their breaths away and left them speechless, wasn't even in the nearby of the truth. For now it wasn't matter anymore how long they had to wait for each other, through what they had to go to find themselves into each others arms. Nothing was more matter, than here and now and the love what finally blew up walls of their hearts washed them all over. If anyone would ask them about that, they'd have to admit that this sensation, that affection was like the biggest, the most annoying addiction they ever experienced. And everything reached the highest level in a moment when Steve's lips for the first time crashed onto Danny's, just after he licked the remnant of Danny's malasadas from the corner of his mouth.
The moment when Steve and Danny left the truck, all of the lunch participants held their heads up intrigued and fixed their eyes onto the two of them. Before the situation became a really embarrassing one, since they both looked more like after some kind of tete'a'tete than just a simple talk about work or Gracie, the silence was broken by unexpected guest.
“Hey! There you guys are!” Mary Ann stood up from the bench and waved her hand at Steve and Danny.
“I didn’t know your sister was in a town.” Danny said and since he’s half behind Steve’s back, he briefly brushed the small of his back, lingering fingertips into little curls of his over there, imagining how it'd be if he could reach this place with his tongue and then also his lips. Before he could even realize what he's doing, Steve put his arm behind his back and grabbed Danny's fingers. For a second time simple froze, when they stroked each others, telling without words how much they needed and wanted each other. Behind this simple movement they hid the real feelings, the love which they felt, but weren't still ready to name it. It's too soon to say this loud, but actions sometimes spoke louder, than the most beautiful words. They both could sense this at that moment.
“Neither did I.” Steve answered finally, looking at Mary completely surprised. For the last time he brushed Danny's palm on his back and then put hands into his shorts pockets. Before boys reached the table, Mary came closer to greet both of them.
“I just told the rest of the gang that I've been looking for you two for over an hour. You weren't home, so I figured out I'd check your favorite little surf spot. But you’re not there, plus when I got back home and checked it more carefully I found wet towel and clothes in the laundry, both of your surfboards where on the lanai, I guess you left them there to dry out, so since you’re not there and not down the shore, I took my last shot. So here I am. Surprise!” Mary said and closed Steve into a really bear hug, snuggling up to him. She missed her big brother in last few weeks so she’s truly happy that she could finally see him again, along with his grouchy partner. There’s something into Danny what always made her pissed and amused at the same time, she simple loved the guy but if she’s right, someone loved him much more, and she's dying to get finally some details about that.
“What are you doing here, Mare?” Steve asked giving her hug back and eyeing her up and down, when she freed herself from his embrace. She looked different, not cuz of a new shorter hair style or lighter make up, but she’s wearing the stewardess clothes on her. Besides he didn't miss that she fixed her gaze onto Danny's crotch and then switched her sight onto Steve's one, and then on her face popped up a knowing, cocky smile. Steve wanted just to scream.
“Where she's looking at?! On Danny's crotch?! On his own?!” Questions popped up in his mind with the full force and before he'd blow up and yell hear head off, he followed her glance and froze.
“Oh damn it!” Steve thought rolling his eyes when he realized what she really spotted when she glanced on Danny's crotch. He bit his down lip trying to do not burst out laughing and then he caught Danny's sight. First Danny didn't know what about it was, but then Steve fixed his gaze onto Danny's crotch, like Mary did it a moment before and then lightly shook his head into Mary's direction. Danny wrinkled his forehead and squinted his eyes and then looked down at his pants. He's not only erected but also the front of his shorts was covered by one not too small spot of Steve's pre-cum.
“Holy shit!” Danny muttered under his nose and snapped his head up looking at Steve irritated.
“Yeah cuz that's my fault too...” Steve got the thought and smirked. He moved his body the way that he hid Danny behind his back and gave him a chance to do something about the “problem”. When he glanced over his shoulder for a second, he almost fainted. Danny leant over his crotch licking his finger and then brushed the spot. Steve swallowed hard, when he saw how Danny cleaned the spot with his saliva and then simple put his finger to his mouth, tasting Steve's cum without any kind of a shame.
“Bastard!” Steve muttered under his nose, when Danny gave him a wink with an evil, huge smile, which brightened his blue eyes. Before Steve would lose the lack of his common sense, he looked back on his sister's face and focused on her, trying to erase the image of Danny who's sucking on his finger with a pleasure.
“What does it look like I'm doing here?” Mary Ann asked and burst out laughing, turning around cheerfully.
“It looks like you're, um, going to a Halloween party dressed as a flight attendant.” Steve said, a surprise was evident on his face and colored also his voice. Especially when Danny moved a bit closer to him and simple grabbed his right buttock, digging his fingers deeper when he felt like Steve tensed under his touch and shiver ran up and down his spine. Steve knew that in a moment he'd make a fool of himself in front of his family, since his cock started to harden more and more with every single beat of his heart. Kono didn't miss anything, she carefully watched how Mary made a fuss about the meeting, especially that both - Steve and Danny - acted truly weird. Besides did she Mary just said that guys not only lived together, but also surfed? Kono knew that Danny tried to get a lesson about surfing, she's even his teacher for a while, and it looked like back then, he hadn't the faintest idea about surfing. And now, a year after, he surfed with Steve? Kono was really lost in her thoughts but still, she followed the talk sharp, trying to figure out what the hell was going on around her. Cuz that there's something behind, she's pretty sure about that. She just needed to find out what exactly before her head would simple blow up cuz of too many scenarios.
“Come on, seriously?” Mary asked and smile reached not only her face, but also her eyes.
“You're working for the airlines?” Steve asked reaching Mary again and pulling her closer to himself, it’s so good to feel her again into his arms. Safe, sound, and so happy. That’s something new and he couldn’t help the big sigh what left his mouth, sending a silent thankful prayer for that fact above the sky. And also for the fact that Danny finally stopped playing a goof and just like Steve moved closer to Mary. But he wouldn't be himself if he wouldn't pinch Steve's buttock, before he finally gave up on teasing. Steve just bit his down lip before he'd gasp and made a fool of himself in front of everybody but he swore himself that he'd take a revenge on Danny for his foreplay.
“Yes! It's the coolest job ever. I started like two weeks ago, and they gave me the O`ahu to New York run. I'm going to be flying back and forth like twice a week. We can hang out during my layovers. How sweet is that?” Mary asked and brushed gently Steve’s cheek, she could sense easily his five o’clock shadow what tickled her fingertips and made her smirk. She felt like a happiness would simple blow her heart any minute. She could easily see how happy Steve's. It's simple radiating from him. The same excitement and joy she noticed as well from Danny's side. Even if Mary would want to she couldn't deny, that her brother and his partner were something much more than just friends and she's willing to do everything to get a proof of it. Or better, a love confession.
They didn’t even notice that whole Ohana watched them with the biggest grins on their faces, having a true fun cuz of their conversation. Kono all the time backed in her head to this what Mary just said.
“Favorite little surf spot? What does it mean anyway? They not only live together but now suddenly they’re also surfing together? What else?” Kono asked herself on and on, eyeing sharp both Danny and Steve since they left the truck. She didn’t miss the fact that Steve pulled Kamekona’s shirt on his arm, and that Danny suddenly hid himself behind his back, like he’d want to cover something. They both looked like they’d just wake up, and if she’s correct, Danny got a fresh hickey on his pulse point.
“What the hell is going on between these two?!” She asked herself like a thousand time in last few weeks and looked back at the plate. She’s curious, that’s the truth, but she didn’t want let them know that she sniffed something. But then she felt a palm on her own and when she held her head up, she saw how Chin nodded slowly at her, brushing the soft skin on her hand.
“So I’m not the only one here…” She got the thought and gently smile reached her reddish lips, ending up on Chin's face.
“Pretty sweet. Right?” Danny asked and knocked everybody out their thinking. He smiled from an ear to an ear, for some unknown reason he truly liked McSister. She always brought to Steve’s life a mess, that’s the truth, but at the same time, she was a cause why he smiled a lot and looked happy. And that’s something what’s worth any teasing from Mary's side, what he always got when she’s in the nearby of him. Steve just shrugged his shoulders and smiled amused. It’s more than he could ask for. His Ohana was together, having a normal chilling time; eating, teasing and making jokes around. There's only one person missing over there, but he knew that only one call, and Joe would join them with a blink of his eyes. He never said this loud but he loved to be back on O`ahu and be again a part of Steve’s life. Steve could only hope that he’d stay there for a longer time. They didn’t speak about that much, reason was that Steve’s too afraid to hear that in a two or three weeks Joe would package his stuffs and leave Hawaii again.
“Come here. Come one.” Danny opened his arms and with a huge, light grin on his face he’s waiting for Mary to reach his arms finally. Mary burst out laughing and snuggled up to Danny, who closed her into his arms and held even stronger, causing that she almost suffocated.
“Hey!” She smirked amused patting his back.
“Hey!” Danny answered and trembled when she pinched his upper arm.
“Ouch!” Danny chuckled and stroked his skin, what started to become a bit reddish.
“You both are just neanderthal animals!” Danny teased siblings, when Mary freed herself from his arms and went back to the table siting on her place.
Kamekona stood up and brought more food, fresh, hot shrimps never tasted that good and all of them were truly thankful that he shared his goodies with them. From time to time he stood up and worked like usually, but then he came back to the table and enjoy the time with his family. Steve sat between Mary Ann and Gracie, Danny sat between Gracie and Kono. They didn’t make it for purpose, but somehow they both know that’d be better for their own and the rest of them sake. It didn’t stop them from looking at each other almost all time, losing themselves into the pools of their eyes. Laugh and sound of their voices fulfilled that spot of the beach, causing that people looked at them with smiles, sensing how close they’re and how much they love each other. Gracie started her story about surfing for something like fifth time already but no one minded this at all. They all were so proud of Monkey, that even they knew that story very well by now, they still made all the “Oh” and “Ah” in a right moments, laughing and joking all over again.
“Keiko just try to focus more on your meal, ok?” Kame suggested and gave Gracie a small shrimp, which looked more like "fish stick" and that’s a moment when she stopped to twitter and focused more on eating. That’s also the moment when Kamekona spotted his shirt on Steve’s arm.
“Are you going to put this on your warrior chest, braddah? Or you’re just going to walk around with that shirt on your arm? Cuz no matter what’s your plan, you own me for this. Love you my haole brother from another mother but hey, business is business.” Kame said and scratched his bold head. Everybody just stared at him and then burst out laughing. Steve grabbed the shirt from his arm and pulled it down, covering his chest, causing that Danno sighed big unintentionally, what immediately brought Kono’s attention.
“Interesting.” She murmured under her nose and looked at Danny with a disbelief.
“You’re unbelievable brah!” Steve smirked and gave Kame money from his back pocket.
“Hey but back to this, what I spotted inside the house, so you guys are like surf buddies now, huh?” Mary said but something in her glowing face and the way how her lips bent in a smile gave a hint to Danny and Steve that she sniffed something. They both didn’t know what exactly she found out at the house, but no matter what’s that, there’s nothing what could immediately brought her to the thought, that they’re together. They're sure about that. No condoms all around the house, not one bed with messed up sheets, for now at least. They both looked into each others eyes, knowing perfectly well that they thought about the same. But no matter if she had reasons or not, she still looked like she’s sure about that, and that certainty made her truly amused.
Steve looked at Danny confused, didn’t know what he should say, how he should react on her words, and the most surprising was that Danny smiled at him back, like he’d agree with telling Mary the truth. Steve for a moment simple lost it, he felt like he's drowning, he needed to talk with Danny, he needed to ask him what he should answer his sister, but he couldn't. And his smile made that Steve got mixed up with the situation, and instead of explaining anything, Steve just blushed and muttered under his nose.
“Uh, yeah, kind of…” In a place of looking at Mary, he just leant over the table and grabbed bottle of a beer, trying to look as much natural, as he could, avoiding not only his sister's eyes, but also Danny's. But when he moved back on his char, he caught Danny’s glance and he froze. Grimace what’s fading away from Danny's face ached Steve’s heart.
“Damn it.” Steve thought and sat back heavily. He knew he probably made a really huge mistake, but in the other hand, they didn’t even have a chance to talk about this what happened between them and what they would want to do about that. It’s not a time to state their feelings in front of their family, since they didn’t even make it completely clear between the two of them.
“So cute.” Mary said and smile reached again her emerald eyes, making her face shinning even more. She acted like she wouldn't sense the tension which showed up between her brother and Danny, but she knew better. It's not a time for a talk like that, and for sure it's not time for a love confession, something happened between boys lately and it looked like they didn't have a chance to wrap their heads about that.
“I couldn't choose better time to show up here.” Mary got the thought and brushed gently Steve's cheek, trying to calm him down, giving the sign she's with him. And maybe even he didn't know the reason behind her simple move, he still was thankful for that, covering her palm by his own and nodded his head slowly.
“Surf buddies… Yeah, right, my ass.” Kono muttered under her nose and felt like Chin squeezed her thigh.
“Easy cuz…” He whispered and gave her a wink. Kono just rolled her eyes and pinched Chin's palm with an evil smile on her beautiful, exotic face.
“Why didn’t you call me?” Steve asked and opened his bottle with a steady hit the cap on the edge of the table. He knew that he's in a real troubles with Danny, but still, he hoped that they could talk about this and make things better later. He had to hold onto this thought, if he wanted to survive this lunch.
“Better watch out, brah, or you will pay also for that!” Kame said and shook his head indignant, when he saw how Steve opened his beer.
“Chill out, Uncle Kame.” Gracie said with serious look of her face, standing and covering Steve with her little chest, like she'd want to defend him with all who she's. Everybody looked at her amused and then simple burst out laughing loudly.
“Gracie, Sweetheart, watch your language and go back to eat, after this morning over the board you need to gather all your Monkey's power back, our little surfer girl.” Kono smirked and pinched gently Gracie’s nose, making that she burst out laughing along with her family, keeping her belly, trying to do not fell from the chair. But she didn't have to worry about that at all cuz steady arms of her father, kept her on one place, safe and sound. Danny snuggled up to Gracie and for a moment he hid his face into her hair, he needed this opportunity to calm down his rapidly beating heart. Steve's answer hurt him, more than he'd be able to admit.
“Why I didn't call you? Dahh because I wanted to surprise you, bro!” Mary said and brushed Steve’s cheek, cleaning it from some remnant of the shrimp.
“Look at him. He’s definitely surprised.” Danny finally opened his mouth, and even he tried to keep a poker face, his eyes betrayed him, at least toward Steve. He felt hurt and Steve knew where’s the reason of it, but before he’d sunk himself into the sense of guilty, he focused again onto Mary, giving in the meantime Gracie a new shrimp stick, stealing the rest of the previous one. Gracie smiled even bigger and snuggled to his side.
“In a good way. In a good way.” Steve said thoughtful and kissed the top of Gracie’s head before she focused on eating again. Danny couldn’t help and smiled at this view, not matter how hurt he felt, the view of Steve and his daughter never failed to move him.
“So a stewardess, how exactly did that happen?” Steve asked and pulled Mary’s hair behind her left ear, cherishing his eyes with the view of his happy sister.
“Uh, well, my friend Angela worked for the airlines, and she knew I needed a job, so here I am. And, by the way, we like to be called flight attendants.” Mary said brushing his dark short hair, before she leant back on her bench.
„I knew that.” Danny said and gave Mary Ann a wink. She smiled from an ear to ear at him and then looked back at Steve.
„Are you, uh... are you staying on the island for a while?” Steve said, a hesitation what's evident into his voice, brought Danny's and Kono's attention immediately. Danny knew why Steve asked the question, because before he threw his words out, he glanced at Danny nervously. Kono could only suppose about what this whole conversation was anyway.
“Actually, no. I'm working the return flight back to New York, so soon I need to go.” Mary said and smiled at upset brother.
„You just got here.” Steve whispered and surprised not only Danny but also Mary Ann and himself with this statement. Of course Danny could understand the fact that Steve’s happy that his sister’s on the O`ahu again and he got upset that he had to say goodbye so fast to her, but still in the other hand, he couldn’t get why Steve's so sad because of the fact that Mary won't stay too long on the island.
“Maybe he wants to get rid of me… Maybe he wants to give me a sign that’s time to move out… Damn it, he just don't want anyone to know we're together…” Danny got the thought and the way how he looked at Steve, simple took Steve's breath away. Pain simple colored Danny’s eyes on a navy blue color, fulfilled them with a sorrow and a disbelief. Steve swallowed hard feeling that something went really wrong there and he didn't have any idea what exactly. Before he looked back at his sister, he caught Kono’s and Chin’s glances. Something in their eyes made him feel truly uncomfortable.
“Jesus Christ, what the hell just happened over here?!” Steve got the thought and sighed big, touching Mary's cheek gently.
“You know sis, that our house will be always yours too, that's not going to change ever. And every time you will be here, you can always come over there, okay?” Steve asked and stroked softly Mary’s cheek, smiling at her sadly, knowing perfectly well that sometimes it’s better to let the love ones to live for their own, even it could hurt.
“Hey, hey what's with this sad face, bro, I'll see you guys in, like, three days. No need for a mourning, okay?”
“Okay then.” Steve smiled and held his head up, when he saw how Danny stood up suddenly and walked to his car, kissing Gracie’s head before he got out the table.
“I’ll be right back, don't go anywhere Mare, okay?” Steve said and brushed Gracie’s hair, when she looked up at him and smile reached again not only her face, but also her blue like Danny’s eyes.
„No probs, Steve...” Mary said and something in her eyes made, that Steve got the feeling she knew why he wanted to follow Danny.
„That's impossible. Isn't?” Steve asked himself and joined Danny on the parking lot.
“What's matter with you, buddy?” Steve asked and leant onto the mask of the Camaro, he could feel easily how tensed and simple pissed of Danny was and he's felt truly worried about that. He didn’t want to make a scene in front of their Ohana but he also didn’t want to let Danny stay in a shape like this for a longer term. Steve knew Danny too well to not be aware of the simple fact that if he'd leave Danny with his own feelings alone, things would look only worse. He needed to talk with Danny, they needed to talk and make everything clear between them. And Steve could only hope, that Danny felt the same.
“Nothing is matter with me ... Steven.” Danny hissed as an answer and peeped inside the car, trying to figure out where the hell he left his wallet, prying silently that he didn’t lose him somewhere during the day. Steve for a moment lingering his eyes onto Danny’s butt, he couldn’t see much since he sat on the mask with crossed arms on his chest, so he came closer to the front door of the car and leant his arm on the top of it. That way he could see everything, for what he’s longing for a whole day, shamelessly.
“Could you stop stare at my ass? Since when you’re such an open person when things come to the two of us, huh?! It’s you, not me, who few minutes back almost begged Mary to stay on O`ahu just to get a rid of me, so back off, okay? Just back off, man…” Danny couldn’t stop words what left his mouth. The moment he said them, he immediately saw how pain simple washed Steve’s eyes, watered them a bit. He couldn’t guess if he saw tears into the two hazel-blue pools of Steve’s or it’s just his imagination, but he could easily feel how badly he hurt him. Steve for a moment simple tried to fight for an air, like a diver, who lost an oxygen under the water. He took a step back and simple stared at Danny with slightly open mouth, trying to wrap his head around this, what he just heard.
“You? Are you serious here?” Steve finally managed to ask the question and took a step toward Danny leaning over him to reach his eyes.
“How could you ever assume something like that, Danny? How the hell? Care you tell me!?” Steve raised his voice but still he kept cool, cuz he really didn't want to fight with Danny, especially when the rest of their family sat not too far away from them.
“Oh yeah, right, put this on me, Steven! Excuse me, but I wasn’t the one who said that! It's you, man!” Danny hissed and banged the Camaro’s door, pointing at Steve who instinctively covered him by his body. He truly wanted to save them a scene in a public place, but it looked like Danny didn’t care about the people or anyone else for that matter, being too mad and disappointed to think straight.
“Yeah? Who said what? What are you talking about, Danny? What did I say!? Huh!?” Steve asked and two wrinkles crossed his forehead like always when he’s thoughtful or something truly bothering him. Danny usually wanted to simple brush them away with his goofy thumbs or kiss them better, few hours back he’d even be able to make it. Now he felt like he didn’t have any rights for that anymore and it simple sucked the air from his lungs.
“Oh yeah, cuz you don’t know about what I’m talking ... Right, my ass… But okay, if you want to play a dumb here… Care you tell me what did mean this what you said Mary Ann about us? So we are kind of surf buddies now? That’s who I’m for you? A buddy with whom you can go down the shore and chase some waves? Seriously Steven?!” Danny hissed madly and his shaky voice betrayed the pain he's caring into his heart.
"So now… Are you sensitive right now? Now?”! Steve asked and something in his voice made that this time Danny snapped out of his ranting and looked into Steve’s eyes sharp.
“Yeah, matter of fact, yeah I'm a sensitive, a little bit.” Danny said and Steve didn’t know if that’s an ironic joke, or a statement. But when he checked Danny’s eyes, when he slipped down and saw how his hands were still shaking, he got his answer. And he got pissed, because if Danny felt hurt about this what he said to Mary Ann, he's not fair with his reaction, not right like at all, since neither of them had a chance to talk about their being together since the morning. And now it looked like Danny expected from him some kind of a public love declaration, even he didn't make one as well.
“You blame me for this, me?!” Steve asked and brushed his hair impatiently. He felt like Danny simple slipped out from his hands and Steve’s terrified that he’d not be able to stop him. But more than this, Steve felt simple shattered that Danny could assume that he’d be able to feel ashamed of the love their share. When Steve let his thoughts won the battle with his heart, he realized that from this what Danny just said, it looked like he accused Steve of something what he’d never be able to do. Never.
“How he could even say something like that, how…?” Steve kept asking himself and still tried to pull himself together at least to the shape when he’d be able to say something and then simple walk away. He needed to get away from that place, far away from Danny, their family, people around, he needed to run away before the pain would suffocate him. Danny’s the love of his life, and he cherished this feeling since months now, maybe even since beginning, but he’s too scared and too alone with his affection, that he was too afraid to admit even in front of himself, how much he cared about Danny. But he never ever was ashamed of that love. He never ever would do that to Danny, cuz he loved him too much to be able to make it. The only one person who could push him to take a step back was Gracie and still he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to give up on that love, on Danny, even for her. And now he realized that Danny thought he's nothing more than a coward, who didn’t have balls to act on his feelings. And it's totally insane. Steve’s the one who welcomed Danny into his life, he’s the one who opened his door for him and his daughter. Door of his house, but also door of his heart. He’s always the one who supported Danny with his fight with Rachel about time with Gracie, he’s the one who’s always there for Danny, every time he needed him. He’s the one who finally took a header and kissed Danny. He did this, not Danny, and now as a payback Danny simple stubbed his heart, leaving it to bleed out.
“Who I suppose to blame? Myself?! You’re the one who took a step back and simple pretended that there’s nothing serious between the two of us… Am I suppose to say ‘thank you’ for that?!” Danny asked and pushed Steve’s chest by his index finger.
“I didn’t pretend anything, Danny…” Steve said and his voice sounded surprisingly low. Danny felt like a shiver ran up and down his spine and his hands started to shake again. Fear sneaked into his heart and made it to beat rapidly. Something went wrong, something went so damn badly not right, that Danny simple sensed this with every pore of his body.
“Make this once again and I'll break your finger. One warning take your damn finger out of my face.” Steve looked at Danno and waited for his move. He still couldn't believe that a moment before this finger brushed his lower back, that finger dug into his butt driving him crazy. Now this finger pointed at him with a pain and madness behind it.
“Excuse me?! That’s it?! That’s all what you have to say to me?!” Danny hissed but this time he didn’t push Steve, he just stared at him. Pain of his broken heart reflected into Steve’s eyes.
“I have no idea why you attack me, Danny. Honestly. I don’t have fucking idea why you act like last moron, accusing me about all the evil things you can only come up with. But I’m done with this, you hear me? I’m done. I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t do anything wrong. Nothing. Just nothing, Danny...” Before Danny was able to open his mouth Steve continued.
“I spent two hours without you and I almost got crazy because of that, I was so turned on and I missed you so badly that I simple wanked myself into our friend’s office cuz without this? I’d die of longing for you. You fulfilled every single pore of my body, you blew up my mind, you stole my heart, and the only thing I was able to think about what, was you… Damn it’s you… Only you… Always you! Because you're the one who got into my bloodstream! Love to you my heart simple pumps with every single beat of it! I was so damn naive, so fucking stupid with my thinking that you feel the same. That the love I have for you, is in your heart too…” Steve said and his voice broke down. He felt like betraying tears threatening him that they would simple fall down, washing his cheeks, making his shirt soaking wet. Making him even bigger fool, than he felt right now. He desperately tried to catch a breath, but he couldn't. He simple couldn't make it.
“Steve…” Danny tried to say something, he felt like he started to simple suffocating, the pain was too big too deal with it, the fear simple paralyzed his whole body, he could only blink in disbelief, praying silently that it’s not the end, that there’s a chance to make it right, to turn back all the words and pain what they caused. What he caused to Steve. Steve's love declaration, this all what he said about his feelings toward Danny simple blew Danny's heart and mind up and away. If circumstances would look different, he'd jump into Steve's arms and kiss him like there would be no tomorrow for neither of them. He'd tear his shirt on him, reaching Steve's heart with his teeth and a tongue. Now he could only eyed him, trying to do not burst out in crying, when he saw how shattered Steve felt.
“Don’t okay? Just don’t… You said enough, Danny. Yes, you did and I’m done with this. I have no idea how you could even assume that I’d betray you or would be ashamed of you… You know what I feel to you, God, don't fool me or yourself, you knew this since beginning, since always... and this morning I believed that finally after all these months of pain, we deserved for a happiness... For a second I believed that it can work, that it's the true, you love me… Now? Now I just want to hide myself into the darkest hole feeling like the biggest idiot ever, you fooled me Danny… God you broke my damn heart, you bastard…” Steve whispered and blinked back stubborn tears which showed up in the corner of his eyes.
“And I wanted to ask you, to stay in my place not for a part-time when you try to find a new place for yourself... I, this stupid moron, wanted to ask you to stay with me, live with me, as a my partner, my friend, my lover…” Steve whispered and turned around to walk away. But before he really made it, he looked for the last time over his shoulder.
“The only one reason why I asked Mary about this if she’s gonna stay longer on O`ahu was that I miss her, and I’m happy to see her again on the island. My house always will be also her house, we both grew up there, you know this damn perfectly well. But I also know my sister, and I know that if she’d know that we’re together, she’d never ever come across us, never. But now it’s not matter anymore.” Steve said in such a low voice, that he wasn’t even sure that Danny heard him at the end.
He took a step back, then another, he rubbed his face impatiently, and then simple left Danny behind his back. He knew that if he’d stay there a moment longer he’d simple burst out crying like some teenage girl crying her heart out after the captain of the football team, and he couldn’t let that happen. He fooled himself enough, there’s no need to make it even worse.
“Oh my God…” Danny muttered under his nose and covered eyes with his palms.
“What the hell I just did…” He whispered and before he could stop this, he felt under his palms a single, hot tear drop, which fell down on his cheek, burning his skin in the process, ending under his shirt, wetting it in few places.
“Guys I need to go now. Duty calls, I have a meeting with Governor.” Steve said and swallowed hard trying to keep cool for his own sake. He truly didn’t want to make them worried or let them wonder what exactly happened. Steve wasn’t even able to turn around and look at Danny, so he didn’t see that Danny hid his face behind his palms, siting on the mask of his car, trying to calm himself down.
But someone did. Mary eyed her brother up and down and then her glance backed on Danny. She didn't know what about they both talked but effect of that conversation gave her an answer, she was looking for. And she knew that Steve would need now someone to drink with, to let it go, to forget. And even Mary Ann loved her brother to the fullest, she knew that not sister he needed the most now. Steve kissed Gracie's head. She grabbed his right palm and for a second their eyes met. It couldn't be the truth but for a second he saw in Monkey's blue pools an understanding.
“That’s not possible.” He got the thought and kissed Gracie's head again before he looked up at Chin and Kono. They both observed his moves carefully, trying to figure out what the hell happened, that he looked like an underdog. And somehow even the same like Mary or Gracie, they didn't know the reason, they still felt what about it's. And suddenly they all felt sorry for Steve, and for Danny, who they spotted still next to Camaro, completely shattered.
“We'll meet tomorrow morning on HQ.” Steve said and when Chin nodded his head as an answer, Steve nodded back at the both of them with Kono and then slowly walked to his car.
“Wait a second for me, okay?” Mary asked, when she reached Steve touching his arm.
“Yeah, sure, but make it fast, okay?” Steve asked and his low voice and eyes fulfilled by the sadness simple ached her heart.
“You bet!” She smirked, trying to light a bit up his upset face, and kissed his cheek briefly.
Steve didn’t care, or at least he tried to convince himself that he didn’t care if Danny was still next to the Camaro or he joined the rest of Ohana. He tried also do not care about this what about they’re thinking now, or what Danny told them, the moment he reached the table. The only one thing about what he could think about was to get away from that place as fast and as far as he could. He got inside the car and then he held his head up. Even Silverado has darker glass what helped to keep privacy inside the car, it didn't have anything to do with this, what Steve could spot. He saw Danny how he slowly got back to the table, and how he turned his head to the side where Silverado was parked and he stared at the front glass window, knowing perfectly well that Steve did the same. Maybe he couldn't see Steve, but he felt him, he always did. But then Danny bowed his head and his lips reached Gracie’s head, almost on the same side, where before Steve kissed her. Steve’s not sure but it looked like Danny closed his eyes for a moment, like he would want to take some calmness and strength from his daughter, the only one bright thing in his life. In their both lives. Kono asked him something, Chin touched his arm.
“Why didn't I take my lesson when he got back with Rachel? Why didn't I take this damn lesson, that when things get high, he always stepped back? God, why I'm such a naive idiot always getting myself hurt?!” Steve punched the wheel.
“Because I damn love this moron!” He sighed big and brushed his hair impatiently. He didn’t know what he should think about this what happened few minutes back. He’s too scared to admit himself that it’s over. Steve didn't want to deal with this, he didn't want to believe that it could be the truth.
“If it's meant to be, it will be...” Steve muttered under his nose, when Danno once again held his head up and looked straight into direction of Silverado.
Mary Ann knocked Steve out his thinking the moment when she opened and then slammed the car door with a full force.
“Woman, watch out!” Steve hissed and looked at her surprised.
“I prefer when you're pissed McGarrett, than upset Stevie, so better put the engine on, and just go, bro!” She commanded, knowing perfectly well about what he’s thinking.
“Roger that!” Steve sighed big and left the parking lot with a screech of tyres. If his broken heart could truly bleed out, there would be a very real red spot on a place, where Silverado was parked for a while.
← §3 It wasn't for nothing I [REBOOT]