just tired
i just want to know one thing:
what makes me not good enough? what is this epic flaw i seem to have?
i really dont think i can fall for a girl and have her give me anymore than half of what i give her back. and it doesnt matter if i stay aloof, if i come straight out with it honestly, or lay it on thick. it is always the same. i an expendable and thats it. nobody really needs me in their lives. im just a nice distraction for a little while.
i feel like the only girls i end up falling for are the unattainable ones. the ones who talk a lot of game, but will always back out.
i NEED to move out of here. I NEED to move somewhere that no one knows me. somewhere that everyone i meet is on my own, not through someone ive already been aquainted with a while.
most importantly, i dont want to slip and let myself become the slut i was last year trying to validate myself that im not useless, that im not unwanted.
i just really wish someone would tell me what it is about me that people, namely girls, shy from.
too energetic? too emotional? too asshole? too sarcastic? not witty enough? or regardless to what im told countless times(most likely verifying the next part, ('doth protest too much')) i am just not good looking enough for someone to generate a valid interest.
there have only been three people i have known, who when im around or talking to, have made me feel utterly at peace, who made me feel right and at home. who felt to, forgive the cliche, complete me.
Rejected by all three. And i just wish i knew why.
what makes me not good enough? what is this epic flaw i seem to have?
i really dont think i can fall for a girl and have her give me anymore than half of what i give her back. and it doesnt matter if i stay aloof, if i come straight out with it honestly, or lay it on thick. it is always the same. i an expendable and thats it. nobody really needs me in their lives. im just a nice distraction for a little while.
i feel like the only girls i end up falling for are the unattainable ones. the ones who talk a lot of game, but will always back out.
i NEED to move out of here. I NEED to move somewhere that no one knows me. somewhere that everyone i meet is on my own, not through someone ive already been aquainted with a while.
most importantly, i dont want to slip and let myself become the slut i was last year trying to validate myself that im not useless, that im not unwanted.
i just really wish someone would tell me what it is about me that people, namely girls, shy from.
too energetic? too emotional? too asshole? too sarcastic? not witty enough? or regardless to what im told countless times(most likely verifying the next part, ('doth protest too much')) i am just not good looking enough for someone to generate a valid interest.
there have only been three people i have known, who when im around or talking to, have made me feel utterly at peace, who made me feel right and at home. who felt to, forgive the cliche, complete me.
Rejected by all three. And i just wish i knew why.