I knew it was going to be a bad day... but I had no idea.
As I am typing, my father has Fletcher locked in the bathroom. Fletcher doesnt really have alot going for him... needless to say, his self esteem depends majorly on his hair. It may sound silly.. But Fletcher isnt like most people. He sees things differently. He doesnt see that hair will grow back in a few months. He hates himself on the outside..as well as on the inside. Anyway, my dad finds pleasure in taking away the things that make us happy. Which is why my dad is currently shaving my brother's head. I can hear them screaming. My father telling Fletcher that if he moves he will "beat the fuck out of him." Fletcher moves anyway...I hear a thrash, and then a loud thump. He has no problem hitting Fletcher in the head as hard as he can. Fist, palm, belt.. I guess it really depends on his mood. I hear Fletcher cyring now. It just fuels my father's fire. It sounds crazy, and I know this, but he loves to see us cry. He will not stop what he is doing until we are crying...or begging. But that is Fletcher. The beggar. But only because he gets it ten times worse. Can you imagine lying on the ground being kicked and punched until it is to the point where you either beg for mercy, or black out? Me neither. And I live in the eye of it. Every once in a while I will hear my dad mocking Fletcher's cries for help. My heart felt like it was being ripped out as Fletcher was being dragged up the stairs. He was literally screaming, "Morgan please help me!" Oh my god. Oh my god My Fletcher. My poor little brother with so many problems. He cant help it that he is like that. He doesnt know. And all the while I stand motionless. Frozen in time. Forced to watch a painful charade that I see all too often. But I couldnt help it. I know that had I tried to help him, I would have gotten it just as bad. What does that make me? Smart?? I hardly think so. I am fucking coward. Only looking out for my own ass. I feel like Im lost in a storm. Every option seems unreasonable and full of doubt. Maybe I deserve it. The way things are going now, the sun will not be coming out for quite some time. And Im scared.