Ring-ding-ding and $$$
As I sit in my good friend Neil's living room 
I try to concentrate and push any troubling thoughts from my head. I'm on the West Coast for the first visit of my life (a layover one time hardly qualifies except that I have to change my language a bit here). I'm in the grand city of San Francisco. And I like it. I like it a lot. I kind of want to move here now. Samantha says she wants to move here too. I dig it. It's big, metropolitan. It's television market 6 so I'm years away, I think. That's unfortunate.
The rain and wind are shaking the windows in their sills. Not a feat of engineering, these things. Kind of kept me up last night. We've got severe thunderstorms today, so it precluded any going out. On the one hand, it's ridiculous that I'm not taking advantage of being here and seeing as much as I can, but on the other, I'm trying to rationalize to myself that I would be miserable, wet and cold if i attempted any forays. Neil and his girlfriend are at work today, thus robbing me of a guide as well. So I'm just been sitting inside, under a blanket, catching up on slowing down for the last day of my vacation. I watched some football, and a "Orange County;" the movie, with Jack Black, not that fucking innane series. Unfortunately, I'm fighting a losing battle with the blues. Several kinds. Take your pick. Sunday blues. End of Vacation Blues. Spending Christmas away from home Blues. Not having a girlfriend Blues. Missing my friends Blues. Facing a 14-hour series of connecting flights, then, going into work and producing a newscast fresh (or not so fresh) from the airport when I land.
Big changes at work. I hate change. That's not true. I see the excitement and possibility in change; but I find it to be inconvenient, and a bit troubling. Hate is a bit strong. Stephanie is leaving. She's the 11pm producer, and one of my favorites. She's going to work at my old station in Boston. Sound like a familiar story? No, you are not experiencing bradslife deja vu. This is the third person in 8 months to leave Charleston, South Carolina to go work in Boston, Massachusetts. Not just in the town, but at my old station. I'm happy for her. Seems like she wanted to go home anyway, and she's only worked here a year. That's big time. This was her first job, now she is working in Market 5. I hope it goes well for her. I've heard there is quite a shake up going on up there. With two other producers with buns in the oven and Stephanie's departure, a whole bunch of holes open up at the station very soon. The 11pm show, the 6pm and the 4pm. Then there are the periphery speculations that one of the girls won't come back. Since her husband just quit to make more money at an impossibly mundane job, the likelihood of her jumping ship has increased exponentially. I'm looking at a 5am show or possibly the 11pm. The 11 is more desirable career-wise, but it will squelch my already feeble social life. It means doing nothing of the fun variety Monday-Friday nights. However, weekends off might be nice, as well as a regular (note, not normal) schedule. Plus, it's the second most watched show. There is a degree of independence. The two strongest sides of my psyche are battling over this one. The fearful side that really wants to do as little work as possible, and the adventure side that welcomes the challenge and the prestige. The 5am sucks too. I still can't really do anything at night, but it would be better than being at work from 4pm-12am. Plus, I might get to work with Tara, my dear friend, so that would be a bonus. Provided she doesn't leave or get a dayside show. But, speaking of leaving, doing the 11pm may accelerate my ultimate departure from lil Charleston. Even though it's a pipe dream to think I'll somehow do better socially in another city. It's time that I realized the problems are with me, not location or other people. So there is all that to consider, plus, I've asked not to be put on the 11pm, but am now having second thoughts. I've been doing it lately, and I wonder if I'm being groomed/tested in that role.
I'm frustrated with the money that I'm making. I'm not an avid consumer, I don't think. I go out in the world and see all the things I don't buy and wonder why I still don't have any money. Then, as I talk to friends from college, we're all around the same salary right now, but people are slowly starting to get away. April is interviewing for jobs that make upwards of 60-70 thousand a year. Samantha, Neil, and Molly are all making more than me on the print side of the biz. Scott was doing fairly well for himself before he left, and I don't know where Myles falls in US dollars, but in Russia, he's living pretty sweet near as I can tell. I'm a bit jealous of them all, except for Sam; she has no life at all. For what she does, she should be making 3 times what they pay her. I don't buy much, but I want things. I want to finish my fucking car and drive it like it was actually an automobile and not some story I tell people. I'm such a cliché character in that way. The guy who has a awesome car somewhere, under a goddamn tarp, but one day he'll get the money and it'll be fixed up and it'll be so sweet. That's such a deluded, working class dream and I'm sick of chasing the rabbit. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear that any cute French foreign exchange students are going to move in across the street, and take a liking to me, and just so happen to be aces mechanics and fix up the car while I'm at work. I want to buy a motorcycle because it looks like freedom. I want some tattoos before I'm too old to bother. I want to visit my friends in Eastern Europe.
...and that's the way it is
I try to concentrate and push any troubling thoughts from my head. I'm on the West Coast for the first visit of my life (a layover one time hardly qualifies except that I have to change my language a bit here). I'm in the grand city of San Francisco. And I like it. I like it a lot. I kind of want to move here now. Samantha says she wants to move here too. I dig it. It's big, metropolitan. It's television market 6 so I'm years away, I think. That's unfortunate.
The rain and wind are shaking the windows in their sills. Not a feat of engineering, these things. Kind of kept me up last night. We've got severe thunderstorms today, so it precluded any going out. On the one hand, it's ridiculous that I'm not taking advantage of being here and seeing as much as I can, but on the other, I'm trying to rationalize to myself that I would be miserable, wet and cold if i attempted any forays. Neil and his girlfriend are at work today, thus robbing me of a guide as well. So I'm just been sitting inside, under a blanket, catching up on slowing down for the last day of my vacation. I watched some football, and a "Orange County;" the movie, with Jack Black, not that fucking innane series. Unfortunately, I'm fighting a losing battle with the blues. Several kinds. Take your pick. Sunday blues. End of Vacation Blues. Spending Christmas away from home Blues. Not having a girlfriend Blues. Missing my friends Blues. Facing a 14-hour series of connecting flights, then, going into work and producing a newscast fresh (or not so fresh) from the airport when I land.
Big changes at work. I hate change. That's not true. I see the excitement and possibility in change; but I find it to be inconvenient, and a bit troubling. Hate is a bit strong. Stephanie is leaving. She's the 11pm producer, and one of my favorites. She's going to work at my old station in Boston. Sound like a familiar story? No, you are not experiencing bradslife deja vu. This is the third person in 8 months to leave Charleston, South Carolina to go work in Boston, Massachusetts. Not just in the town, but at my old station. I'm happy for her. Seems like she wanted to go home anyway, and she's only worked here a year. That's big time. This was her first job, now she is working in Market 5. I hope it goes well for her. I've heard there is quite a shake up going on up there. With two other producers with buns in the oven and Stephanie's departure, a whole bunch of holes open up at the station very soon. The 11pm show, the 6pm and the 4pm. Then there are the periphery speculations that one of the girls won't come back. Since her husband just quit to make more money at an impossibly mundane job, the likelihood of her jumping ship has increased exponentially. I'm looking at a 5am show or possibly the 11pm. The 11 is more desirable career-wise, but it will squelch my already feeble social life. It means doing nothing of the fun variety Monday-Friday nights. However, weekends off might be nice, as well as a regular (note, not normal) schedule. Plus, it's the second most watched show. There is a degree of independence. The two strongest sides of my psyche are battling over this one. The fearful side that really wants to do as little work as possible, and the adventure side that welcomes the challenge and the prestige. The 5am sucks too. I still can't really do anything at night, but it would be better than being at work from 4pm-12am. Plus, I might get to work with Tara, my dear friend, so that would be a bonus. Provided she doesn't leave or get a dayside show. But, speaking of leaving, doing the 11pm may accelerate my ultimate departure from lil Charleston. Even though it's a pipe dream to think I'll somehow do better socially in another city. It's time that I realized the problems are with me, not location or other people. So there is all that to consider, plus, I've asked not to be put on the 11pm, but am now having second thoughts. I've been doing it lately, and I wonder if I'm being groomed/tested in that role.
I'm frustrated with the money that I'm making. I'm not an avid consumer, I don't think. I go out in the world and see all the things I don't buy and wonder why I still don't have any money. Then, as I talk to friends from college, we're all around the same salary right now, but people are slowly starting to get away. April is interviewing for jobs that make upwards of 60-70 thousand a year. Samantha, Neil, and Molly are all making more than me on the print side of the biz. Scott was doing fairly well for himself before he left, and I don't know where Myles falls in US dollars, but in Russia, he's living pretty sweet near as I can tell. I'm a bit jealous of them all, except for Sam; she has no life at all. For what she does, she should be making 3 times what they pay her. I don't buy much, but I want things. I want to finish my fucking car and drive it like it was actually an automobile and not some story I tell people. I'm such a cliché character in that way. The guy who has a awesome car somewhere, under a goddamn tarp, but one day he'll get the money and it'll be fixed up and it'll be so sweet. That's such a deluded, working class dream and I'm sick of chasing the rabbit. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear that any cute French foreign exchange students are going to move in across the street, and take a liking to me, and just so happen to be aces mechanics and fix up the car while I'm at work. I want to buy a motorcycle because it looks like freedom. I want some tattoos before I'm too old to bother. I want to visit my friends in Eastern Europe.
...and that's the way it is