Stay who you are in a changing world
Normally I like to post in here whats going on in life. This post is going to be different. I have been through worlds of change as can be seen in past entries. I had an opiphany this morning that I wanted to share with maybe my kids in the future should they find this or myself. As I rolled up into my garage in my ebike I saw myself in the mirror. Ive got a rad beard these days, i have good size on me mass wise, I have tattoos that I think are really awesome, I have a fresh haircut and overall look like who I feel I am. I remember in the past I would see myself and feel really awkward like I was what my ex wife wanted and who I felt like I really was. Moreso on that, I was really just there to please her and be her pawn. Is that what people want? After the divorce I said to myself "I want to grow a rad beard" and guess what, I did that, and I loved it. I felt like I started to morph into who I feel like I really am. I will tell you though, its came at a price. I thought there might be a ton of girls that love guys that have a rad beard. I quickly learned this is not the case. In fact there are a lot of things that I do style wise that I don't think are what mainstream society wants or is looking for. The world is kinda a crazy place now, and whose mold am I trying to fulfil? Am I trying to be myself and happy with me, or am and say "sure I managed to fit in" and not be myself or be myself and the few people that appreciate that celebrate them. I guess who do you want to impress, and the real answer is yourself. Be true to yourself. WOw that could sound generic, but its true. Its truely the only real win in all of this. Because when you see yourself and are proud of who you are and like what you are doing you are going to feel good about yourself. Build yourself to be who you want to be, make a good life for yourself, find as much happiness as you can, and in that the right people will catch on and want to join that in life, so you cant look back. You will face people closing and heck even slamming the door on your face, there will be haters, people that dont like you, people that will laugh at you and maybe even not take you seriously. That part is never easy, but if you are comfortable in yourself and confident with who you are its easier to know that the right people will catch on, and you have your fun and are adding people to further your goodness in life, and people who want to take from it simply aren't welcome. Its easier said than done, but its the best way. Its not a race its a marathon. Sometimes I feel like I push too hard to have good things when really good things tgake time and don't come easy.