(no subject)
Can anyone makes this stop? Everything just needs to slow down. I pull at my hair. Crying, I slowly fall to the ground. A cold rush of liquid against my lips, the taste of white powder. 500 mg. What is black, is now white. What was white, is now gray. Swallow. Exhale. I want to escape, please get me out of here. I want to run far far away. Another taste, another, and another.1500 mg. I feel myself falling from reality. I shut my eyes for a brief second. Open them, pupils wide. I look in the mirror. A shadow behind me. My past. Shatter it. Fuck it. Who is this person? Who have I become. It does not matter anymore. I am addicted to the pain that addicts me to this escape. Scream for help. "Quiet babygirl", you cover my mouth & I stop screaming. You explain that you are not there to hurt me. You tell me I can't make it on my own. I Open the bottle. I reach my hand out to you, 2000 mg. Join me? You smile. The bitter taste of happiness. I feel your skin touch mine. My eyes meet yours, & our heart beats collide. You remain nameless. Your lips make me weak, my body shakes. You fall into me, and life makes sense. Lay me down. Room spinning. Laughter, smiles, my heart is racing. We escape undearneath the sheets, We are invisible. I kiss you softly. Slowly down your neck, I feel your heart beating faster. With every kiss down your soft skin , I take you an inch closer to exstacy. Hours go by, I am still lost in you. Laying on your chest, reality comes with the sunrise. But I am safe. I am in your arms. We lie there, listening to the chaos outside. The rain pouring down. I do not want to go. You walk me to my car, to face what seems like a 1000 lonely miles. I hold onto you until your fingers slip away from mine. I say goodbye, you say this is not the end. I ask you why. Why do we do this. And you simply answer with, "I love you, but the world would never let it be". And I stare at you blankly. Wondering what we have to prove to them anyway. I hold that inside, I feel my heart break. I smile, and say "I love you too." My dream... My escape. 500 mg for the drive home, & 500 mg to watch me leave.