new beginning

Nov 17, 2006 09:15

well this week has been emotional rollercoaster. i spent 3 nights crying and blaming myself for what happened. then one night after i poured my heart into a pile of tissue..i realized that im not going to let myself be played like a yo-yo and the fact that she can just push me away and pull me back at HER convenience isnt something that i stand for. in fact its everything that im against...and being treated like that...well im just too good for that kind of bullshit. so i came to the conclusion im going to save myself from future heartache and nights waiting for calls hours on end that just wont come denying to myself that she forgot or she just doesnt want to call. So, i decided to go out on a limb and go for someone that just might be a good candidate. so far shes pretty fucken cool. and shes fucken hot. but that isnt why im talking to her and she isnt a rebound... i am truly interested and lets see what happens. her best friend tells me i should feel special because the girl i like doesnt usually talk on the phone or get nervous unless shes REALLY into someone ... and well im that someone shes REALLY into...so im excited.. its a new adventure and im looking forward to going into it facing straight forward head on. i think im ready to take on any obstacle thats coming my way. i've already walked away from the one thing that was really bringing me down and im not going to let myself be brought down like THAT again. hell no. im too damn good for that. =]

yea i am mad and pretty damn disappointed. not in me. but in her. she lied through her teeth and was still was able to sleep at night. its a terrible thing to watch someone like that dig their hole deeper and deeper and when you tell them they've dug deep enough they go farther thinking they can get out of it whenever they want to. when in reality the farther you go with stuff like that..the worse off you'll be in the end. its a hypocritical thing for her to do since in fact she knows how it feels to be in my shoes yet she still chose that for me. now shes about to get into a new relationship (in her words "situation")... and i can almost guarantee karma is going to bite her in the ass. maybe not in the exact way SHE did it to me..but the feelings that i felt throughout this whole time including after she will feel and by that time she'll realize what she did to me and its going to be too late for her to come back and apologize because by that time ill be long gone... enjoying my own life and fixing my own problems that i wouldnt have time to her pity stories. i hate to say that about her but shes brought all this negativity upon herself. if it didnt happen we wouldnt be where we are now. but she had to do what she did so i had to do what i did. she says its my fault for us being like this...but then again who gave me the reason to dump her?...exactly...so she shouldnt be talking now should she?... but its okay...she'll get hers but this time i wont be available at 3 in the morning for her to call me telling me that her ex is giving me drama. And I know now why she can beat her ass without a care... because well lets just say ... i kinda side with her ex only because i know how it feels to be treated like nothing when you were once everything...

so on that note... you readers stay safe. have a good weekend. and ill be back to keep you updated on my life. <3

[keep it =LovexCore=]
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