wow
i haven't posted a journal in forever like a little over a year.
things have changed so much dottie got big shes 17 months steven got out of the marines and
is in the army. i have done nothing new really just raising dottie.
well as of late i think i'm going to start writing in here again because, i need to vent. i think i'm getting divorced
steven doesn't really want to be married anymore yea i'm not really sure what is going to happen i think the
worst part is knowing that I've failed at the most important job God gave me. i have no plan for my future i
honestly thought id be married forever. but, i guess love can't be onesided anymore. i just don't know what to do
or say i just want to curl up in a ball and cry.
its not official yet. hes coming down next weekend so we will see what happens but, i guess when you've only been
married two years and you've been gone one of those years and then you'll basically be gone the next six years
and you're hanging out with single people you'd probably thing whats the point. of being married but, living single.
i don't really want to get divorced i just want him to be happy and if that means him being without me thats what it means. i know i'll move on and pick up the pieces to my life. i just need so reassurance that its not my fault. i guess
i want some sort of closure if this is how its going to go.
but, again its not official do i want him to come down and realize all the reasons he loves me of course i do. i want him to want to stay married to me. i want him to be happy though and i don't want him to waste his life maybe there is someone else out there for him maybe i wasn't the girl he was suppost to marry. i just need to know and need to not blame myself.
but,. yep thats my life falling apart, heart breaking it is what it is. but, i needed to vent so even if no one reads this it helped me.
things have changed so much dottie got big shes 17 months steven got out of the marines and
is in the army. i have done nothing new really just raising dottie.
well as of late i think i'm going to start writing in here again because, i need to vent. i think i'm getting divorced
steven doesn't really want to be married anymore yea i'm not really sure what is going to happen i think the
worst part is knowing that I've failed at the most important job God gave me. i have no plan for my future i
honestly thought id be married forever. but, i guess love can't be onesided anymore. i just don't know what to do
or say i just want to curl up in a ball and cry.
its not official yet. hes coming down next weekend so we will see what happens but, i guess when you've only been
married two years and you've been gone one of those years and then you'll basically be gone the next six years
and you're hanging out with single people you'd probably thing whats the point. of being married but, living single.
i don't really want to get divorced i just want him to be happy and if that means him being without me thats what it means. i know i'll move on and pick up the pieces to my life. i just need so reassurance that its not my fault. i guess
i want some sort of closure if this is how its going to go.
but, again its not official do i want him to come down and realize all the reasons he loves me of course i do. i want him to want to stay married to me. i want him to be happy though and i don't want him to waste his life maybe there is someone else out there for him maybe i wasn't the girl he was suppost to marry. i just need to know and need to not blame myself.
but,. yep thats my life falling apart, heart breaking it is what it is. but, i needed to vent so even if no one reads this it helped me.