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[xandercordy1]

Amends, Friendships And Moving On Chapter Twenty
Author: Xandercordy1
Pairing: X/S
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Feedback: Yes, please
Summary: This is the rest of the confrontation between Spike and Xander. Stupid LJ cut me off so I had to halve this chapter.

Previous parts can be found Here

“Hey, stop it.“ Xander pulled himself away from

Comments

[davinci_1985]

I agree. They all made it like 'oh, yeah, Xander has fear of turning violent'.

When I watched that episode, I was 'What??'. Obviously Xander has a deep rooted fear of turning into an abusive monster whose wife belittles him and whose children are not even his. But he isn't afraid of commitent. I think choosing at fifteen to be in this fight more than proves it. He could have left at any moment (as he was encouraged to), but he didn't.

And nobody thought he should go to therapy? Faith had Angel to help her along the way. Willow had Giles and the Coven, and later on, her friends. Buffy had her friends. Even Spike, post-soul, had Buffy and Xander (he let him live in his apartment, and I think there may be more than a couple of screaming nightmares).

But, who helped Xander? Even Giles' grief for Jenny didn't deserve enough attention in the show. I get that he has to put his slayer first, but if I had been Giles, I would have kicked Buffy's ass.

Spike was the same. What would have their relationship been if Spike was a girl and Buffy was the man? Or Spike's relationship with Drusilla? Even Xander's relationship with Cordelia, in the beginning, when she was ashamed of him and had no qualms on throwing it in his face?

And I've read a previous comment as I screened for mine and I'm sorry for your husband's pain, and I hope he's realy getting better.

[xandercordy1]

You are so very right about his commitment. When Xander says he's going to help, he does so no matter how scared he may be. But I think he does have a little problem with committing himself that much (meaning marriage) into a relationship. He kept saying he still loved Anya and wanted to date her but he couldn't go through with the marriage/kids thing. I know that a lot of Xander's problems were ignored and sometimes I think it's because he didn't open up to his friends, but this time he did try and they just gave him a hug and looked at him like he was crazy. As Xander said many times on the show, he needed a male friend that he could talk to. If nothing else, they could have had Spike be that friend. After all, they were very cute when they were in the bar in "Triangle" before the troll came along, talking about their girlfriends and how everyone thought they were crazy.

No one ever really helped Xander with his problems. They would pat him on the back, whatever but that's like putting a bandaid on a sliced off finger. Well, you get what I mean. Not enough. But yet Xander was always the one they turned to or counted on to help them when they became depressed or hurt, whatever. Sure, Xander was the comfortador, but even comfortadors need comfort themselves every now and then.

If Spike and Buffy's relationship had been reversed, people would have banned the show because of a woman being abused. They even made such a big deal about the rape, and believe me I do not try to make excuses for rape and if a girl says no she means no, but if you go back and look at all the interactions with Buffy and Spike, she would say no but then she's have sex with him. To Spike, Buffy's no's meant yes and they always did until that once. So while Spike shouldn't have tried to make her love him, I think part of him didn't stop because he didn't believe Buffy when she said no.

Thank you for your kind words about my husband. He's up and about and doing much better now. Takes a lot to keep him down. Me, not so much, but he's tough.