Rant Alert... yes, another one.
Ok.
For those of you who don't know (ie. are fortunate enough to have avoided being present during an epic rant) I am a Twilight-hater of massive proportions.
I'm pretty sure Louisa's the only one who will be bothered to get a kick out of this, but you should give it a try anyway cause it's fun to laugh at the stoopid ^_^
I CANNOT fucking stand Twilight.
It's a bastardisation of literature, a kick in the face to feminist movements and woman writers throughout the ages, and quite frankly an insult to the human race in general.
... it's even an insult to Mormons. Yeah. And you thought they couldn't get any worse.
Now Twilight-haters are almost as obsessive (and sad) as the diehard fans, though we generally have a better sense of humour. We pour a lot of energy into hating these books and their creator, Stephenie-with-an-E-gimp-face-Meyers, discussing why we hate it, and expunging sarcasm and disdain upon everything associated with it.
And we all know how I love to be snobby about literature... and everything else ^_^
I watch a community which centres around all these fun passtimes, and through this I found yet another example of SMeyers utter stupidity and complete FAIL at life. Notice how she tries to act as though she knows anything about literature and as though she wrote the most epic love story of all time - rather than those wannabes, Shakespeare and Austen...
This is her opinion of the book The Princess Bride, I have added my own corrections because I'm a loser and it makes me feel superior:
Actually Bella and Edward's love story is better than them [theirs]. When I was in college I wrote a paper from a feminist perspective (it’s an easy way to write)[if you have no idea what you're talking about... which you clearly don't] on The Princess Bride so I am [a] little biased. The problem I have with Westley and Buttercup is [that] Buttercup is an idiot and it doesn’t bother anyone, all that matters is that she’s beautiful, that is her only value. At the end she redeems herself a bit, but the female characters are very weak in that story. Westley is brave and smart and fights, Buttercup is just beautiful, it’s her only thing [thing? Is that the technical term?]: her brain means nothing [at least she has one], her personality means nothing to him, they have the kind of love where they can’t leave [live] without each other. It’s not a great example to me. I couldn’t find one who [that] was a really good comparison [to Edward and Bella] to me, I mean, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr.Darcy’s it’s [is] pretty good, except you should think that if either one of them dies the other one will carry on bravely, and Romeo and Juliet were kind of idiots, they didn’t know each other very well.
END QUOTE!
... she's a fucking idiot.
I've never read The Princess Bride, but I have it on good authority that it's a satire, meaning the author is poking fun at the lead female's lack of virtue outside of her physical attributes. And while she is largely vapid, in contrast to her virtuous male counterpart, this is off-set by moments of genuine quick-wit and compassion. How the hell did she write a paper on it and completely forget to mention the irony?
Oh yeah, cause SMeyer wouldn't know irony if it started growing out of her face.
Then, what? I can't quite figure out that sentence, I could swear she'd just said Buttercup and Westley's inability to live without each other is bad, but then she's criticising Elizabeth and Darcy's ability to live without each other? Because as far as I can tell there's nothing at all romantic about attaching yourself to your 'beloved' like a limpet and refusing to experience life in any fashion without them. I am not an Austen fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I have always considered the relationship between those two characters to be one as equally matched as was possible in that era, and one that was built on a strong foundation of friendship and common interest that has blossomed beautifully into love.
Which I'd say is a damn sight better than 'OMG SPARKLE!*GLOMP*'.
But SMeyer's assessment? 'Pretty good.'
And Romeo and Juliet were idiots because they hardly knew each other... has she even read her own book? Edward is infatuated with Bella because she just smells so dern scrummy. And Bella pushes everyone and everything else out of her life and centres herself souly around a sparkly, virgin, tofu vamp who is over 100 years her senior.
Imagine throwing your life away over a silly teenage infatuation! Shame on you, Shakespeare, for being such a bad example to young couples.
o_0
Who the fuck does she think she is? Many people (including me) may not like a lot of Shakespeare or Austen's work, but I can see why they had such a huge impact on literature and have enormous respect for them as writers and as people and for everything they accomplished.
The spewed ramblings of a sexually frustrated housewife with the IQ of a spanner, don't even factor into the same universe.
Her vampires are abysmal. I would love to see Anne Rice bitch slap her. Preferably with a copy of Queen of the Damned, so all the poor, affronted, badass vampires can bitch slap her vicariously for what she's done to their reputation. They're supposed to be creatures of the night you retard! What self respecting creature of the night 'sparkles'??? Kind of kills their camouflage doncha think? And the Cullens are supposed to be 'vegetarians' because they only feed on animals and not humans?.... I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Dracula is spinning in his coffin, let me tell you.
And apparently, during one of the books, don't ask me which (who cares) Edward fucks off and leaves Bella (for her own good, of course, because she might die of overexposure to his BLING) and Bella completely loses it. Can't eat, sleep, think... not too different from usual then... and goes all zombified for about three months. And there are blank pages in the book to represent this.
...
...
...
I don't know about anyone else, but I'd be pretty pissed if I'd forked out for a book and discovered that the author had foregone actual writing and descriptiveness and any kind of freakin attempt at metaphor and just filled it up with blank pages. Trees died to make that! Although, I am inclined to think a book full of nothing would be better than the shite she filled it with.
... Believe me I can, and often do, go on and on and on.
Twilight means never having to say you're kidding.
And I'm sorry, I know it's utterly pathetic, but I really had to get it off my chest ^_^
Phew! God I hate that woman.
+_+
For those of you who don't know (ie. are fortunate enough to have avoided being present during an epic rant) I am a Twilight-hater of massive proportions.
I'm pretty sure Louisa's the only one who will be bothered to get a kick out of this, but you should give it a try anyway cause it's fun to laugh at the stoopid ^_^
I CANNOT fucking stand Twilight.
It's a bastardisation of literature, a kick in the face to feminist movements and woman writers throughout the ages, and quite frankly an insult to the human race in general.
... it's even an insult to Mormons. Yeah. And you thought they couldn't get any worse.
Now Twilight-haters are almost as obsessive (and sad) as the diehard fans, though we generally have a better sense of humour. We pour a lot of energy into hating these books and their creator, Stephenie-with-an-E-gimp-face-Meyers, discussing why we hate it, and expunging sarcasm and disdain upon everything associated with it.
And we all know how I love to be snobby about literature... and everything else ^_^
I watch a community which centres around all these fun passtimes, and through this I found yet another example of SMeyers utter stupidity and complete FAIL at life. Notice how she tries to act as though she knows anything about literature and as though she wrote the most epic love story of all time - rather than those wannabes, Shakespeare and Austen...
This is her opinion of the book The Princess Bride, I have added my own corrections because I'm a loser and it makes me feel superior:
Actually Bella and Edward's love story is better than them [theirs]. When I was in college I wrote a paper from a feminist perspective (it’s an easy way to write)[if you have no idea what you're talking about... which you clearly don't] on The Princess Bride so I am [a] little biased. The problem I have with Westley and Buttercup is [that] Buttercup is an idiot and it doesn’t bother anyone, all that matters is that she’s beautiful, that is her only value. At the end she redeems herself a bit, but the female characters are very weak in that story. Westley is brave and smart and fights, Buttercup is just beautiful, it’s her only thing [thing? Is that the technical term?]: her brain means nothing [at least she has one], her personality means nothing to him, they have the kind of love where they can’t leave [live] without each other. It’s not a great example to me. I couldn’t find one who [that] was a really good comparison [to Edward and Bella] to me, I mean, Elizabeth Bennet and Mr.Darcy’s it’s [is] pretty good, except you should think that if either one of them dies the other one will carry on bravely, and Romeo and Juliet were kind of idiots, they didn’t know each other very well.
END QUOTE!
... she's a fucking idiot.
I've never read The Princess Bride, but I have it on good authority that it's a satire, meaning the author is poking fun at the lead female's lack of virtue outside of her physical attributes. And while she is largely vapid, in contrast to her virtuous male counterpart, this is off-set by moments of genuine quick-wit and compassion. How the hell did she write a paper on it and completely forget to mention the irony?
Oh yeah, cause SMeyer wouldn't know irony if it started growing out of her face.
Then, what? I can't quite figure out that sentence, I could swear she'd just said Buttercup and Westley's inability to live without each other is bad, but then she's criticising Elizabeth and Darcy's ability to live without each other? Because as far as I can tell there's nothing at all romantic about attaching yourself to your 'beloved' like a limpet and refusing to experience life in any fashion without them. I am not an Austen fan by any stretch of the imagination, but I have always considered the relationship between those two characters to be one as equally matched as was possible in that era, and one that was built on a strong foundation of friendship and common interest that has blossomed beautifully into love.
Which I'd say is a damn sight better than 'OMG SPARKLE!*GLOMP*'.
But SMeyer's assessment? 'Pretty good.'
And Romeo and Juliet were idiots because they hardly knew each other... has she even read her own book? Edward is infatuated with Bella because she just smells so dern scrummy. And Bella pushes everyone and everything else out of her life and centres herself souly around a sparkly, virgin, tofu vamp who is over 100 years her senior.
Imagine throwing your life away over a silly teenage infatuation! Shame on you, Shakespeare, for being such a bad example to young couples.
o_0
Who the fuck does she think she is? Many people (including me) may not like a lot of Shakespeare or Austen's work, but I can see why they had such a huge impact on literature and have enormous respect for them as writers and as people and for everything they accomplished.
The spewed ramblings of a sexually frustrated housewife with the IQ of a spanner, don't even factor into the same universe.
Her vampires are abysmal. I would love to see Anne Rice bitch slap her. Preferably with a copy of Queen of the Damned, so all the poor, affronted, badass vampires can bitch slap her vicariously for what she's done to their reputation. They're supposed to be creatures of the night you retard! What self respecting creature of the night 'sparkles'??? Kind of kills their camouflage doncha think? And the Cullens are supposed to be 'vegetarians' because they only feed on animals and not humans?.... I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Dracula is spinning in his coffin, let me tell you.
And apparently, during one of the books, don't ask me which (who cares) Edward fucks off and leaves Bella (for her own good, of course, because she might die of overexposure to his BLING) and Bella completely loses it. Can't eat, sleep, think... not too different from usual then... and goes all zombified for about three months. And there are blank pages in the book to represent this.
...
...
...
I don't know about anyone else, but I'd be pretty pissed if I'd forked out for a book and discovered that the author had foregone actual writing and descriptiveness and any kind of freakin attempt at metaphor and just filled it up with blank pages. Trees died to make that! Although, I am inclined to think a book full of nothing would be better than the shite she filled it with.
... Believe me I can, and often do, go on and on and on.
Twilight means never having to say you're kidding.
And I'm sorry, I know it's utterly pathetic, but I really had to get it off my chest ^_^
Phew! God I hate that woman.
+_+