April Ericcson - RENT 100songs
Title: Beginnin of the End
Fandom: RENT
Characters: April Erricson, with mention of Roger
Prompt: 043: Goodbye to You
Word Count: 421 (does not include song quotes)
Rating: pg-13
Warnings/Spoilers: none :)
Summary: April talks about how she told Roger to move on. Based on replies between April and Roger from my previous entry to the community.
"There's so much I want to say now
But it's too late i know
There's no way to heal these wounds now
And my heart bleeds for you
And our love is crashing
Like a tidal wave
Coming over me"
I'm gone, and I told Roger to go ahead and move on with his life, I TOLD him to marry Mimi. To ask her, before it was too late. Will he ever know that it hurt so bad to say that? That I found someone that could work miracles, that I could have a chance, to live again...no. That would be wrong. He loves her. He deserves to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy, and if that means letting go of the ones you love, so that they can carry on and live, then so be it. If you love something, you have to set it free. And that's what I'm doing. I shouldn't feel any pain. I should be rejoicing in the fact that he's moving on, that he's opening up to someone else. I've watched him, since my passing. I've seen how closed off he was, how hurt he was. And I know part of it was my fault. I watched him dying in front of my eyes...but until he spoke to me, or wanted to think that I was there with him, I couldn't tell him. I could only sit back and watch as his life unfolded. I was glad when he finally realized he needed to come back from Sante Fe. That he needed her, he needed his friends. The saddest part is the look on his face, when he though Mimi was gone. It was the same look on his face when he found me. And that hurt so much. It was like my heart being stomped on.
"So I wanted you to know
That i finally let you go
After all i've held on to
This is my goodbye to you
I was always there for you
But you never saw the truth
And the reason that i know
Is i've finally let you go"
Telling him to marry Mimi, was my goodbye to him. It was me, finally accepting the fact, that there was no tomorrow. I just hope he can understand that, and that he actually does it. I don't want to see him in pain anymore. I've done it for so many years now, that it's starting to kill me. If that's possible. I'm stuck here, between this land of the living and the dead. I haven't been forgotten, so therefore I can exist to those that wish to see me. I just hope that after all is said and done, Roger is happy. And that everyone around him is happy. Maybe someday they'll find a cure for this disease, and he can live happily ever after with his new...wife.....I guess I just wasn't the one for him...
"And every time i close my eyes
My heart is bleeding deep inside
But now my eyes are open
And i'm never gonna be the one for you
The one for you"
Fandom: RENT
Characters: April Erricson, with mention of Roger
Prompt: 043: Goodbye to You
Word Count: 421 (does not include song quotes)
Rating: pg-13
Warnings/Spoilers: none :)
Summary: April talks about how she told Roger to move on. Based on replies between April and Roger from my previous entry to the community.
"There's so much I want to say now
But it's too late i know
There's no way to heal these wounds now
And my heart bleeds for you
And our love is crashing
Like a tidal wave
Coming over me"
I'm gone, and I told Roger to go ahead and move on with his life, I TOLD him to marry Mimi. To ask her, before it was too late. Will he ever know that it hurt so bad to say that? That I found someone that could work miracles, that I could have a chance, to live again...no. That would be wrong. He loves her. He deserves to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy, and if that means letting go of the ones you love, so that they can carry on and live, then so be it. If you love something, you have to set it free. And that's what I'm doing. I shouldn't feel any pain. I should be rejoicing in the fact that he's moving on, that he's opening up to someone else. I've watched him, since my passing. I've seen how closed off he was, how hurt he was. And I know part of it was my fault. I watched him dying in front of my eyes...but until he spoke to me, or wanted to think that I was there with him, I couldn't tell him. I could only sit back and watch as his life unfolded. I was glad when he finally realized he needed to come back from Sante Fe. That he needed her, he needed his friends. The saddest part is the look on his face, when he though Mimi was gone. It was the same look on his face when he found me. And that hurt so much. It was like my heart being stomped on.
"So I wanted you to know
That i finally let you go
After all i've held on to
This is my goodbye to you
I was always there for you
But you never saw the truth
And the reason that i know
Is i've finally let you go"
Telling him to marry Mimi, was my goodbye to him. It was me, finally accepting the fact, that there was no tomorrow. I just hope he can understand that, and that he actually does it. I don't want to see him in pain anymore. I've done it for so many years now, that it's starting to kill me. If that's possible. I'm stuck here, between this land of the living and the dead. I haven't been forgotten, so therefore I can exist to those that wish to see me. I just hope that after all is said and done, Roger is happy. And that everyone around him is happy. Maybe someday they'll find a cure for this disease, and he can live happily ever after with his new...wife.....I guess I just wasn't the one for him...
"And every time i close my eyes
My heart is bleeding deep inside
But now my eyes are open
And i'm never gonna be the one for you
The one for you"