(no subject)
ok so i was updating and i dont know wtf i hit but i like ... deleted the whole thing. so this is a retry and its going to suck...
Today i went to SHG to shadow someone. it was kinda cool. I met a lot of people but i dont remember many. And tomorrow i have to get up all early so i can go back to SHG to take a qualification test for alegebra 2. oh boy. exciting.
Lately life has seemed to suck. i want to be happy but i just cant. Like today when i was wanting joel to call i felt like i should be happy. i wanted to be happy. but i couldnt. i was like... battling myself. and i hate it. i feel like everything around me is annoying. After i got off the phone with him i felt like shit. and i started crying. i was wishing so bad that i could just get away from everything and everybody for just one day. I dont know what good it would do. but i guess it would help some? I dont know. i dont know anything... I hate crying and hating everything in the whole world and knowing there is nothing i can do about it. i feel so helpless and it just pisses me off more. I dont even like the person i am. i start to think that a lot of people are so much better than me. i think im dropping my grades in school and letting homework just slip. I admitt i've never been someone to dedicate my time to work and study. but i should at least do a little bit of it. it would help, right? I'm constantly tired. i cant wait til summer. So i dont have to do anything important. everything can just ease by. and i can take it easy and do what i feel like doing.
So tomorrow i have 2 soccer games. 1:30 and 3:30. oh yay.i bet we get our asses kicked again. that would be like us. I dont know what else to say here.... i just wanna go lay down and sleep or something.
I guess im done for tonight. i dont even know why i bother with these things? its not like anyone bothers to read and comment. oh well....
i guess thats all
xoxo
-michelle