(no subject)
i dont think im as faithful as i should be....and it bothers me.but in the same sense i dont care at all...
when i hear about nicole and how wonderful she is doing it makes me happy and sad....i gave her up so that she could have a happy life...i told her to her face that we could never be something and i lied to her face about that just so she could grow and live a life with God...and every day it rips at me...how i fucked up alot of things...but at least she is happy...i think she found someone else too...that should make me happy right? well my feelings dont matter honestly....cuz if they did i wouldnt go through this bull shit all the time...Maybe God would put my life in a different directions...i always fall victim to the temptation of a woman...one of mans greatest temptations....and i always fall down and break my heart everytime...so why do i continue this inevitable pain seeking enigma? i dont know...where is life going? i dont know? am i a christian? i dont know? i hope she doesnt read my livejournal anymore...God i miss so many people of my past...i miss so many people that i still talk to...
we're going down
in a spiral to the ground
no one
no ones gonna save us now
not even God
where do you expect us to go when the bombs fall?
when i hear about nicole and how wonderful she is doing it makes me happy and sad....i gave her up so that she could have a happy life...i told her to her face that we could never be something and i lied to her face about that just so she could grow and live a life with God...and every day it rips at me...how i fucked up alot of things...but at least she is happy...i think she found someone else too...that should make me happy right? well my feelings dont matter honestly....cuz if they did i wouldnt go through this bull shit all the time...Maybe God would put my life in a different directions...i always fall victim to the temptation of a woman...one of mans greatest temptations....and i always fall down and break my heart everytime...so why do i continue this inevitable pain seeking enigma? i dont know...where is life going? i dont know? am i a christian? i dont know? i hope she doesnt read my livejournal anymore...God i miss so many people of my past...i miss so many people that i still talk to...
we're going down
in a spiral to the ground
no one
no ones gonna save us now
not even God
where do you expect us to go when the bombs fall?