The Fiction He Lives - Epilogue
Title: The Fiction He Lives - Epilogue
Author: x_cheapnovelty
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Jack Barakat, Jack Barakat/William Beckett
Rating: M
Summary: Alex is the architect of Jack's despair.
POV: Third
Warnings: Angst, heartache, boykissing, boycrying, fluff
Disclaimer: Imaginary. Don't own the songs either.
Author Notes: So you guys persuaded me to write this epilogue. I'm a bit upset that it's so happy, but I was a little brutal to barakitten in ch 3 sooooo I guess he deserves some happy.
And so do you guys! So enjoy :)
Also sorry there are so many lyrics. They just worked.
Years passed, as they proverbially do, and Jack was more or less the original Jack he once had been. He moved to New York because he liked the feeling of anonymity. Jack had long since left Zack as well because, well, it was just cruel to the boy. Jack knew feelings of hope, elation and - most importantly - thrill again. He had overcome his own heart, and he liked his life; it was missing something though and Jack knew what it was missing, but ne’er did he dwell on it because if he did... well, the ground would open up and suck him right back into the swamp that is misery again and Jack kind of liked being moderately happy.
It was one winter, though, when Jack felt his heart twinge in that irksome, painful way it did whenever he thought of Alex. He’d braced the chilly wind and random flurries of snow to go check his little mailbox for Christmas cards and whatnot, when he recognised the slanty way that Alex wrote his ‘J’s written on a card-sized envelope. Heart jerking madly, Jack opened the envelope and pulled out a card that was definitely only half Christmassy; it was a picture of Jack and Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas, though two stupid Santa hats had been drawn on top of their heads. Jack smirked at the name similarity that Alex had always enjoyed (because Alex was obviously always Sally) before opening the card curiously.
Dear Jack, it read.
I know it’s been years. I thought maybe after time it would be safe to try and contact you.
I didn’t think it would be so hard to track you down, though.
Regardless, I wrote a song a while ago for you. I’d like you to have it now.
Happy Christmas, happy New Year and have a happy life, Jack.
With love,
Alex xxo
Jack pulled out the folded piece of paper that had been paper clipped to the opposite side of the card, but found there were more lyrics hidden under that. The words read:
Jack, this obviously isn’t the song, but it seemed... fitting.
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
(I miss you, I miss you)
(I miss you, I miss you)
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head
(I miss you, I miss you)
Tears welled up in Jack’s eyes as they so often did when Alex was in his thoughts. He started walking, shielding his face from the wind with the card, re-reading Alex’s words, remembering his handwriting, how they would cheat on tests in class or write dumb graffiti on lockers... and Blink, of course Alex would somehow put a soundtrack to this dismal yet exhilarating day... but Jack blinked the tears away and remembered the happiness of this life, this now, not the past. He remembered how William, dear, sweet and loving William had put him back together piece by piece by fucking piece until the odious task of bringing the dead back to life was complete. Jack was Jack again, thank you William Beckett. Jack thought of William’s long, soft hair and the way he’d run his spindly fingers through Jack’s hair when they kissed and Jack was in the present again, totally over Alex.
Jack reached the closest coffee shop and went inside, savouring the smell of the bitter beans and ordering, before finally settling down snugly to read this song that had taken Alex so long to give him.
Oh why can't I be what you need?
A newer improved version of me
But I'm nothing so good
no, I'm nothing
Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence of love and of sorrow
I beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down, fold me in
deep, deep, deep in the heart of your sins
I break in two over you, oh
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you don't see me, you don't
I break in two over you
I would break in two for you
Now you see me
Now you don't
Now you need me
Now you don't
Jack sat there for a while, taking in the lyrics and wishing so hard that he could just ring up Alex and make him sing it so he could fully appreciate the beauty of this wasted song. He wanted so badly for Alex’s voice to be heard by the whole world because it was such an amazing thing and this song was another scrap of unbelievable talent being wasted on Jack, when surely there was a whole audience who could listen and appreciate instead of just Jack. He contemplated the lyrics over two more coffees, just thinking, just absorbing this new information from such a previous time. Jack had truly moved on, but it was still so hard to not feel that he’d given up on a perfect thing and ruined his whole future happiness. But this was silly, so Jack stood up, put his scarf back on and walked home to the apartment he shared with his Beckett angel.
The night passed in a moderately normal fashion and Jack and Bilvy were having a cuddle on their sofa.
“I got a Christmas card from Alex today.” Jack said, quite nonchalantly. But William saw through this and cut straight through the “oh really”s and “wow it’s been ages” to ask:
“Are you okay?” with a perfectly concerned expression on his face. Jack took in the face gazing at him and stroked his hand down William’s cheek. He was so grateful for William; if he hadn’t moved to New York to live with him, they never would have fallen into this and Jack would still be a coffee shop robot.
“I am actually very okay,” he answered with a smile; a genuine smile, before kissing William enthusiastically and carrying the lanky man into the bedroom to show him just how okay he really was.
*
Jack didn’t sleep after William had drifted off, but he held the other man close to him as he lay there still contemplating Alex’s words. He lay there until the inky black sky began to turn indigo and he slid carefully out of bed to go find a piece of paper. Jack sat himself at the kitchen table and with a pen, paper and Alex’s song in front of him, he started to write.
You might be just what I need
No I would not change a thing
Been dreaming of this so long
But we only exist in this song
The thing is, I'm not worth the sorrow
And if you come and meet me tomorrow
I will hold you down, fold you in
Deep, deep, deep in the fiction we live
I break in two over you
I break in two
And if a piece of you dies
Alex, I will bring you back to life
Of course I see you
I do.
Alex was Jack’s precious memory.
Author: x_cheapnovelty
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Jack Barakat, Jack Barakat/William Beckett
Rating: M
Summary: Alex is the architect of Jack's despair.
POV: Third
Warnings: Angst, heartache, boykissing, boycrying, fluff
Disclaimer: Imaginary. Don't own the songs either.
Author Notes: So you guys persuaded me to write this epilogue. I'm a bit upset that it's so happy, but I was a little brutal to barakitten in ch 3 sooooo I guess he deserves some happy.
And so do you guys! So enjoy :)
Also sorry there are so many lyrics. They just worked.
Years passed, as they proverbially do, and Jack was more or less the original Jack he once had been. He moved to New York because he liked the feeling of anonymity. Jack had long since left Zack as well because, well, it was just cruel to the boy. Jack knew feelings of hope, elation and - most importantly - thrill again. He had overcome his own heart, and he liked his life; it was missing something though and Jack knew what it was missing, but ne’er did he dwell on it because if he did... well, the ground would open up and suck him right back into the swamp that is misery again and Jack kind of liked being moderately happy.
It was one winter, though, when Jack felt his heart twinge in that irksome, painful way it did whenever he thought of Alex. He’d braced the chilly wind and random flurries of snow to go check his little mailbox for Christmas cards and whatnot, when he recognised the slanty way that Alex wrote his ‘J’s written on a card-sized envelope. Heart jerking madly, Jack opened the envelope and pulled out a card that was definitely only half Christmassy; it was a picture of Jack and Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas, though two stupid Santa hats had been drawn on top of their heads. Jack smirked at the name similarity that Alex had always enjoyed (because Alex was obviously always Sally) before opening the card curiously.
Dear Jack, it read.
I know it’s been years. I thought maybe after time it would be safe to try and contact you.
I didn’t think it would be so hard to track you down, though.
Regardless, I wrote a song a while ago for you. I’d like you to have it now.
Happy Christmas, happy New Year and have a happy life, Jack.
With love,
Alex xxo
Jack pulled out the folded piece of paper that had been paper clipped to the opposite side of the card, but found there were more lyrics hidden under that. The words read:
Jack, this obviously isn’t the song, but it seemed... fitting.
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends
(I miss you, I miss you)
(I miss you, I miss you)
Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head
(I miss you, I miss you)
Tears welled up in Jack’s eyes as they so often did when Alex was in his thoughts. He started walking, shielding his face from the wind with the card, re-reading Alex’s words, remembering his handwriting, how they would cheat on tests in class or write dumb graffiti on lockers... and Blink, of course Alex would somehow put a soundtrack to this dismal yet exhilarating day... but Jack blinked the tears away and remembered the happiness of this life, this now, not the past. He remembered how William, dear, sweet and loving William had put him back together piece by piece by fucking piece until the odious task of bringing the dead back to life was complete. Jack was Jack again, thank you William Beckett. Jack thought of William’s long, soft hair and the way he’d run his spindly fingers through Jack’s hair when they kissed and Jack was in the present again, totally over Alex.
Jack reached the closest coffee shop and went inside, savouring the smell of the bitter beans and ordering, before finally settling down snugly to read this song that had taken Alex so long to give him.
Oh why can't I be what you need?
A newer improved version of me
But I'm nothing so good
no, I'm nothing
Just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence of love and of sorrow
I beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down, fold me in
deep, deep, deep in the heart of your sins
I break in two over you, oh
I break in two
And each piece of me dies
And only you can give the breath of life
But you don't see me, you don't
I break in two over you
I would break in two for you
Now you see me
Now you don't
Now you need me
Now you don't
Jack sat there for a while, taking in the lyrics and wishing so hard that he could just ring up Alex and make him sing it so he could fully appreciate the beauty of this wasted song. He wanted so badly for Alex’s voice to be heard by the whole world because it was such an amazing thing and this song was another scrap of unbelievable talent being wasted on Jack, when surely there was a whole audience who could listen and appreciate instead of just Jack. He contemplated the lyrics over two more coffees, just thinking, just absorbing this new information from such a previous time. Jack had truly moved on, but it was still so hard to not feel that he’d given up on a perfect thing and ruined his whole future happiness. But this was silly, so Jack stood up, put his scarf back on and walked home to the apartment he shared with his Beckett angel.
The night passed in a moderately normal fashion and Jack and Bilvy were having a cuddle on their sofa.
“I got a Christmas card from Alex today.” Jack said, quite nonchalantly. But William saw through this and cut straight through the “oh really”s and “wow it’s been ages” to ask:
“Are you okay?” with a perfectly concerned expression on his face. Jack took in the face gazing at him and stroked his hand down William’s cheek. He was so grateful for William; if he hadn’t moved to New York to live with him, they never would have fallen into this and Jack would still be a coffee shop robot.
“I am actually very okay,” he answered with a smile; a genuine smile, before kissing William enthusiastically and carrying the lanky man into the bedroom to show him just how okay he really was.
*
Jack didn’t sleep after William had drifted off, but he held the other man close to him as he lay there still contemplating Alex’s words. He lay there until the inky black sky began to turn indigo and he slid carefully out of bed to go find a piece of paper. Jack sat himself at the kitchen table and with a pen, paper and Alex’s song in front of him, he started to write.
You might be just what I need
No I would not change a thing
Been dreaming of this so long
But we only exist in this song
The thing is, I'm not worth the sorrow
And if you come and meet me tomorrow
I will hold you down, fold you in
Deep, deep, deep in the fiction we live
I break in two over you
I break in two
And if a piece of you dies
Alex, I will bring you back to life
Of course I see you
I do.
Alex was Jack’s precious memory.