(no subject)
all in all, my vacation was good. real fun. i got closer to two of the most important people in my life right now; my boyfriend and my best friend. i love my sai, she's my bad influence, my teacher, my corrupter, and my slut. and on top of that, she's the only person who can make a two and a half phone conversation seem like ten minutes. i love talking to her. i can just talk and talk and vice versa and we listen to each other. and we get each other, honestly, i don't think there's a thing that i could tell her that she wouldn't understand. she also got me out of that slump i was in on saturday. and then when i was back to being sad, our conversation helped a lot.
you know, the simplicity of mine and joe's relationship will always linger over me, and follow me to every relationship i ever have. and you know what else; allison will always be a worry of mine. sometimes it'll be worse than other, but generally that's calmed down. you know, this is how sara put it into perspective for me. she told me that robert wouldn't be dumb enough to date his best friend just to fuck her over. and also, he seems to really love me, truly. (and that's not the only person who's said that.) and she said that although she can't completely trust him because of his past, she trusts that he really cares so much about me and that maybe he got the message from allison that cheating hurts. having someone else hurts.
sunday night, when i was in my dmode again, i watched titanic until one in the morning. most of the time i was on the phone with sai. and then i was like "fuck this i'm not gonna go to sleep." so i stayed up all night. talked to sam online, and we were like stalking the cancellation page, praying for a snowday. at 5 when our snow days were announced, we danced and laughed and yeah. we were so tired. then later that day i got to see all my beavers, and i was so happy. they got mad that i was having unprotected sex though, and i don't blame them. so i called jake thein and asked him if i could have a couple of condoms, then i'd owe him. so we picked those up. watched open water two. i've missed them. but for some reason, i feel like i'm more distant from them than ever before. i don't like it, i don't want me to drift from them.
today ryan monroe called me while i was in school. i called him back, and it ended with him picking me up after school. we drove around. he bought me cold stone ice cream. we went to this place where mole and zak were, waiting for a bunch of other people. and they were gonna snow board. at this one point, mole and zak went for a walk, and me and ryan rode down the hill on the sled together. if we were naked, it would of been ass rape. and our sled started skidding and we fell off in water, then our asses were soaking wet. then we had a snowball fight. then eventually he brought me home. on the way home he asked me if i was still dating rob. you know, honestly today wasn't awkward for me. i didn't think anything of it, and he probably didn't either. i liked hanging out with him. maybe i'll do it again soon, now that i know it wont be like "OMGZ RAPE."
but yeah. after that, robert came over. hung out with him. he called me baby a lot tonight. he's been calling me baby for a while now, but it's still wierd. no guy has ever called me that before, and meant it seriously. but i like it. oh, and also, since i want him to sing and play guitar for me, he told me he was going to finish learning the song stellar by incubus on guitar, then he'll play/sing it for me. god, i love him.
i sincerly mean this: i wouldn't give robert up even if joe confessed his dying love for me and asked me back out.
you know, the simplicity of mine and joe's relationship will always linger over me, and follow me to every relationship i ever have. and you know what else; allison will always be a worry of mine. sometimes it'll be worse than other, but generally that's calmed down. you know, this is how sara put it into perspective for me. she told me that robert wouldn't be dumb enough to date his best friend just to fuck her over. and also, he seems to really love me, truly. (and that's not the only person who's said that.) and she said that although she can't completely trust him because of his past, she trusts that he really cares so much about me and that maybe he got the message from allison that cheating hurts. having someone else hurts.
sunday night, when i was in my dmode again, i watched titanic until one in the morning. most of the time i was on the phone with sai. and then i was like "fuck this i'm not gonna go to sleep." so i stayed up all night. talked to sam online, and we were like stalking the cancellation page, praying for a snowday. at 5 when our snow days were announced, we danced and laughed and yeah. we were so tired. then later that day i got to see all my beavers, and i was so happy. they got mad that i was having unprotected sex though, and i don't blame them. so i called jake thein and asked him if i could have a couple of condoms, then i'd owe him. so we picked those up. watched open water two. i've missed them. but for some reason, i feel like i'm more distant from them than ever before. i don't like it, i don't want me to drift from them.
today ryan monroe called me while i was in school. i called him back, and it ended with him picking me up after school. we drove around. he bought me cold stone ice cream. we went to this place where mole and zak were, waiting for a bunch of other people. and they were gonna snow board. at this one point, mole and zak went for a walk, and me and ryan rode down the hill on the sled together. if we were naked, it would of been ass rape. and our sled started skidding and we fell off in water, then our asses were soaking wet. then we had a snowball fight. then eventually he brought me home. on the way home he asked me if i was still dating rob. you know, honestly today wasn't awkward for me. i didn't think anything of it, and he probably didn't either. i liked hanging out with him. maybe i'll do it again soon, now that i know it wont be like "OMGZ RAPE."
but yeah. after that, robert came over. hung out with him. he called me baby a lot tonight. he's been calling me baby for a while now, but it's still wierd. no guy has ever called me that before, and meant it seriously. but i like it. oh, and also, since i want him to sing and play guitar for me, he told me he was going to finish learning the song stellar by incubus on guitar, then he'll play/sing it for me. god, i love him.
i sincerly mean this: i wouldn't give robert up even if joe confessed his dying love for me and asked me back out.