.o97
It's Halloween.
So overrated for us "old" people.
I dunno I have stuff on my mind, but when don't I. I think I'm just feeling sorta alone lately because of all this drama shit and all this crap at school and how I just need people but no one really gets that.
Everyone that get's me isn't here anymore and the friends that I do have don't really know me that well.
When I panicked I imed everyone on my buddylist and Myles talked to me for a bit. Mostly listened. It helped. I dunno it's hard to describe I think I'm just going to paste part of the email I sent him when I vented. I wish I had more of people's emails so I could just email them when I needed to talk.
I miss everyone. You should come here. Like right now lol. How can you say no to me?! I don't know why but right now I don't know what's going on. God I'm fucking emo. Ick. Sorry. Everything is like racing through my head and I'm bored and I'm not really happy and I think that's getting to me because I want to be happy except I dunno how to. I'm trying though. I just wish everyone hadn't left. All of you suck, you really don't need an edumacation Myles lol. Anyways, I think I'm going to relapse. I'm really scared of that happening but I think I am. I have a feeling I'm going to fuck up again and fuck up my life more than ever. I wish someone was here to keep me balanced, none of my Mamaroneck friends know anything about it or how to do that. It really sucks. Sometimes I just need someone to say Alina suck it up, you'll be fine or it's ok just to let everything go. Does that make sense? I don't think I'm making any sense but w/e. I'm venting to you because I don't really have anyone to turn to. Isn't that sad? You probably think I'm really lame right now. Crap, I'm sorry. I just really don't know what to do sometimes. I feel lonely. Everyone that matters is gone. In the end I don't even know if anything is going to be worth it. Sometimes I just think or feel like I know that nothing is going to be worth it. Should I even bother? You know like that sorta stuff. I wish I was like 5 again and all I had to worry about was what dress I was going to put on my barbie doll or like how boys had cooties.
I hate needing people.
I hate being sick.
So overrated for us "old" people.
I dunno I have stuff on my mind, but when don't I. I think I'm just feeling sorta alone lately because of all this drama shit and all this crap at school and how I just need people but no one really gets that.
Everyone that get's me isn't here anymore and the friends that I do have don't really know me that well.
When I panicked I imed everyone on my buddylist and Myles talked to me for a bit. Mostly listened. It helped. I dunno it's hard to describe I think I'm just going to paste part of the email I sent him when I vented. I wish I had more of people's emails so I could just email them when I needed to talk.
I miss everyone. You should come here. Like right now lol. How can you say no to me?! I don't know why but right now I don't know what's going on. God I'm fucking emo. Ick. Sorry. Everything is like racing through my head and I'm bored and I'm not really happy and I think that's getting to me because I want to be happy except I dunno how to. I'm trying though. I just wish everyone hadn't left. All of you suck, you really don't need an edumacation Myles lol. Anyways, I think I'm going to relapse. I'm really scared of that happening but I think I am. I have a feeling I'm going to fuck up again and fuck up my life more than ever. I wish someone was here to keep me balanced, none of my Mamaroneck friends know anything about it or how to do that. It really sucks. Sometimes I just need someone to say Alina suck it up, you'll be fine or it's ok just to let everything go. Does that make sense? I don't think I'm making any sense but w/e. I'm venting to you because I don't really have anyone to turn to. Isn't that sad? You probably think I'm really lame right now. Crap, I'm sorry. I just really don't know what to do sometimes. I feel lonely. Everyone that matters is gone. In the end I don't even know if anything is going to be worth it. Sometimes I just think or feel like I know that nothing is going to be worth it. Should I even bother? You know like that sorta stuff. I wish I was like 5 again and all I had to worry about was what dress I was going to put on my barbie doll or like how boys had cooties.
I hate needing people.
I hate being sick.