emo emo hippos, they're in a wrist slashing race (haha)

[x3fixmein45]

I can't be poetic right now because I'm too upset. I just got back from a family party thing for my uncle's birthday, it was a lot of fun until my cousin John had to go and ruin it. He jokingly asked if I was gay (because apparently everyone in Swampscott is according to him) and I was like I'm actually bi fyi figuring he wouldn't care but he just stared at me like I had three heads or something and then was like 'you're joking right' and I was like no, I seriously am bi. He said that gay people were gross and not to talk to him and walked off, I followed him and was like 'are you kidding me? wtf?' and he was all like 'I throw rocks at gay people' and that pissed me off so bad because I have tons of gay friends and that's a fucking terrible thing for him to say. And then I asked him why and he said the most ignorant thing ever, that he was scared that they'd rape him so I told him how it's usually the other way around and how gay boy's have gotten raped by people because of their sexuality and how horrible it is. He continued to ignore me and walked away. I decided not to fight him anymore but was still upset obviously.I know I probably shouldn't have said anything in the first place but I wasn't about to lie to him about how I feel about things. I went over to my mom and she told me to just drop it and that I shouldn't be upset over it. I just walked away from her and tried to calm down and whatever. It was late so I think I was a little more emotional than necessary, my other NICE cousin Terry asked me what was wrong and I was like nothing your brother's a loser and told him what John had said. Terry told me that John was just being stupid and then was like 'you're bi? I didn't know that' but not in a bad way or anything, at least he didn't look at me like I was a monster or something like John had. After in the car my mom said that I shouldn't talk to people about my sexuality but HE DID IN FACT BRING IT UP...just to be clear there. I'm tired and emo and stupid but that's ok. I love livejournal and I think this is the most emo I've ever been, well besides those times that I kinda wanted to die...but those don't count as much. I'm just sad and now I think I kinda get what gay people go through more than I did. Not that I didn't think they got a lot of shit but this just made it more real or something. Nobody should be treated badly because they're different no matter what and I just wish that all people could see that. Ignorance is far from bliss for those around the ignorant. I wish Erin was online, I love her so much. platonically or something else. just real.

Listen to the forgetul blue fish and just keep swimming.

I'm an overdramatic emo whore...but you know what? I'm okay with that.