once again, i'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend, just thought you were the one
I don't know why I ever thought that Fonzo and I could work something out. I don't know why I'm not mad at him. I don't know why I still care so much about it. I do know it sucks and I can't change it. I've decided to give up on him. I don't think he ever really cared to begin with. I remember there was one time when he actually told me, the only reason he went out with me was to get closer to Bekka. Hah, then another time he said he doesn't look back. So maybe I was stupid to fall for him. Actually I probably was. This generally happens whenever I fall for someone. I get hurt or i just break up with them before I even have the chance to get hurt. But apparently i don't need to go out with someone to get hurt.
This'll make my trip to Va easier though. I won't have to worry about us having "alone time." But it'll make it harder too. Cuz seeing him again will hurt even more. I never thought that I would actually find someone that I would do anything for. But I would do anything for him, even get over him, if that would make him happy. I don't understand what's wrong with me. There has to be something since every guy seems to run. I must be "damaged goods" or maybe it's cuz i have a best friend that is drop dead gorgeous. Every guy that sees her is like damn she's hot. Then they suddenly don't wanna talk to me anymore. It has to be me. Go figure. Well whatever. I'm tired of caring. It takes so much energy.
This'll make my trip to Va easier though. I won't have to worry about us having "alone time." But it'll make it harder too. Cuz seeing him again will hurt even more. I never thought that I would actually find someone that I would do anything for. But I would do anything for him, even get over him, if that would make him happy. I don't understand what's wrong with me. There has to be something since every guy seems to run. I must be "damaged goods" or maybe it's cuz i have a best friend that is drop dead gorgeous. Every guy that sees her is like damn she's hot. Then they suddenly don't wanna talk to me anymore. It has to be me. Go figure. Well whatever. I'm tired of caring. It takes so much energy.