Ugly
Have you ever felt so ugly that everytime you look in the mirror you feel like the mirror should explode and send shards of glass so that maybe, just maybe you won't have to see yourself in the morning? That's how I feel every single day. I shouldn't. There's no reason for me to. I don't know. Btw, this is gonna be one of those depressed entries. So if you feel like telling me to shut up, keep it to yourself for now. Tell me later. Here are my realizations of the past 24 hours :
* I'm a cow. The only way to drop any weight of any kind, is to starve myself. It seems to have worked, i've lost 5 lbs this week.
* Every relationship i have is doomed to fail. My relationships usually last a complete length of two weeks. Why? Because i scare them off. Because everything I do, is self destructive. Because i'm afraid of getting hurt.
* Everything I touch usually screws up.
* Everything I desperately want to work doesn't. I was looking forward to this tsunami fundraiser but now i'm not. Let's face it. It's not gonna work. It has a nice idea but the there's no way we can get organized in time. And there are just too many scams.
* I'm scared to go to Virginia. I'm scared that the people I consider my best friends hate me. I'm scared that i just don't fit in. I'm also scared that the friends I have here, hate me.
* I'm frustrated with college. I'm ready to just say screw it and just go to Southern.
* I miss my family. I hate being so far away from Grandad and Lindsay and everyone else.
* Everyone i've ever truly cared for is gone. My grandmother's gone, my mom's family is gone. What next?
* I HATE CAMDEN COUNTY
That was enlightening I think. Oh well. . .
* I'm a cow. The only way to drop any weight of any kind, is to starve myself. It seems to have worked, i've lost 5 lbs this week.
* Every relationship i have is doomed to fail. My relationships usually last a complete length of two weeks. Why? Because i scare them off. Because everything I do, is self destructive. Because i'm afraid of getting hurt.
* Everything I touch usually screws up.
* Everything I desperately want to work doesn't. I was looking forward to this tsunami fundraiser but now i'm not. Let's face it. It's not gonna work. It has a nice idea but the there's no way we can get organized in time. And there are just too many scams.
* I'm scared to go to Virginia. I'm scared that the people I consider my best friends hate me. I'm scared that i just don't fit in. I'm also scared that the friends I have here, hate me.
* I'm frustrated with college. I'm ready to just say screw it and just go to Southern.
* I miss my family. I hate being so far away from Grandad and Lindsay and everyone else.
* Everyone i've ever truly cared for is gone. My grandmother's gone, my mom's family is gone. What next?
* I HATE CAMDEN COUNTY
That was enlightening I think. Oh well. . .