WTF!?!?!?!?!
So I've recently been feeling like my friends don't feel that I'm worth their time. I'm forgotten about, never messaged,not payed attention to, and all that sort of shit. I'm starting to think that I've got all of 3 or 4 people I can depend on. I know that a few of my friends are just plain busy but at least they have the decency to tell me to my face and say sorry wish they could but they can't. On the other hand there are those that say one thing then either forget about me or just blow me off like I wasn't important in the first place. But whatever. I can live without them right? No I can't. I need to be social more than once a week or just at work, and the gods know I'm not social there(I can't stand fake people). I need to have people around that I can count on and consider good friendsnad know that they won't just up and leave just because they don't know what do at that moment or because they're bored. I'm always bored and do I complain all the god damn time or just up and blow someone off because of it? NO! I sit and take my punishment, because god forbid that person might just need to have someone around even if they don't want to talk or go do something. I know I'm not the most fun person to be around anymore, I mean shit I can't do half the things I used to, why? because I have a fucking kid. Which should also not be the only reason people come to see me I want people to come and hang out with me AND my daughte not just my little girl. Is that also so much to ask? I guess so.
So my brain has been going a million miles an hour recently. I can hold on to single thought long enough for it to be useful. Which really sucks because maybe that might alleviate my stress a bit, and holy shit am I under a lot of stress.
I'm looking for a second job that I can work on the weekends and/or 3rd shift. Why, you might ask. Well it's because I need to be abke to afford my bills, plus baby daycare, plus rent, plus food, plus the upcoming wreck of a holiday-Christmas. Why can't anyone just celebrate the Solstice anymore. You give gifts you make food and share it with loved ones and the spirits(sacrifices, food for the dead, that sort of thing). But no everyone has to do the gift thing. I don't have a list of what I want or need I don't even want to receive anything I don't give a shit about all of that shit anymore. I just want to get to get rid of my stress and to be able to not worry about money or my daughter.
Which brings me to another fun subject. Little Aurora Dawn has thrush, and for those of you who don't know what that is it's a bacterial infection in the mouth and throat area which usually just looks like a thin coating of white it's very painful and quite annoying it's also contagious. So I have to make sure that my little girl does not pass it on to anyone around her or to anyone at daycare, even though she probably got it from there. Also from daycare she's constantly getting diaper rash and it's not because they don't change her, I'm not sure but I think she has a reaction to the baby powder that they use. cuz I change her less than they do and she's never gotten a diaper rash from anything I do. I don't know what to do.
I wish I knew how to handle how life is going for me right now. It's like I'm happy but I'm also miserable.
Well I'm done ranting for now. TaTa Cheerio and all that shit.
So my brain has been going a million miles an hour recently. I can hold on to single thought long enough for it to be useful. Which really sucks because maybe that might alleviate my stress a bit, and holy shit am I under a lot of stress.
I'm looking for a second job that I can work on the weekends and/or 3rd shift. Why, you might ask. Well it's because I need to be abke to afford my bills, plus baby daycare, plus rent, plus food, plus the upcoming wreck of a holiday-Christmas. Why can't anyone just celebrate the Solstice anymore. You give gifts you make food and share it with loved ones and the spirits(sacrifices, food for the dead, that sort of thing). But no everyone has to do the gift thing. I don't have a list of what I want or need I don't even want to receive anything I don't give a shit about all of that shit anymore. I just want to get to get rid of my stress and to be able to not worry about money or my daughter.
Which brings me to another fun subject. Little Aurora Dawn has thrush, and for those of you who don't know what that is it's a bacterial infection in the mouth and throat area which usually just looks like a thin coating of white it's very painful and quite annoying it's also contagious. So I have to make sure that my little girl does not pass it on to anyone around her or to anyone at daycare, even though she probably got it from there. Also from daycare she's constantly getting diaper rash and it's not because they don't change her, I'm not sure but I think she has a reaction to the baby powder that they use. cuz I change her less than they do and she's never gotten a diaper rash from anything I do. I don't know what to do.
I wish I knew how to handle how life is going for me right now. It's like I'm happy but I'm also miserable.
Well I'm done ranting for now. TaTa Cheerio and all that shit.