Tuesday's Rain
Tuesday should have been a good day. It was a good day. I got some writing done. I set some things in motion regarding House Arcadia and my goals for the artist commune. I reached a conclusion that taking the opportunity to move into Woody and Ren's household would be an all around positive move for me, though I can't make a final determination on that until I actually get to see my potential living space.
Yet, all I could feel after work was crushing sorrow. Regret that I am having to resign myself to six more years on this Earth pretending that anything matters and that I actually want to be here. Hatred for an awful world that it pains me to exist in. I feel burdensome to the few people in my life that do make me feel like my continued existence has some value to others, and nobody has managed to quite convince me that there's any reason my life should have any value to myself.