Comments | wyntermute: Somewhere I Have Never Travelled, Gladly Beyond

wyntermute

Somewhere I Have Never Travelled, Gladly Beyond - Chapter 15

Jun 09, 2008 23:08

I was stuck on this chapter forever - the chapter that wouldn’t die. But apparently a three day weekend and a bit of wine work wonders. Might need a bit more editing, but whatever. Maybe that will happen tomorrow ( Read more... )

fanfic, somewhere i have never travelled, naruto

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alory_shannon June 10 2008, 17:41:01 UTC

“That’s why I’ve been watching you. I know we have to go home, but sometimes I don’t want to. I don’t want to lose all of this, and I don’t want to lose y--” He paused, his gaze flicking away from her for a moment before he began again, “This is probably the dumbest thing ever, but sometimes it seems like if I just focus on what’s in the present, maybe you - I mean, it won’t ever slip away and the future won’t happen, yeah. So maybe it’s a bit weird that I can’t stop staring at you - and pathetic, goddamnit, I know - but it makes everything seem like it’s going to be alright, if only for a minute.”

This whole chapter was marvelous, but that paragraph in particular just absolutely blew me away.

I love how well you make these two work, how they're so obviously in love with each other, but it isn't perfect, it isn't sticky sickly-sweet and fluffy--it's realistic, and that makes it all the stronger, all the more believable.

It's lovely. And wonderful. And as always, I don't have the words to express how much I love it. ♥

...And as a side note, I wouldn't be surprised if Dei stowed away on the ship. XD Though the mental picture of Sakura standing on a pier, watching the ships come in and waiting for him is a beautiful one.

wyntermute June 13 2008, 10:30:50 UTC

I am so happy to hear that you enjoyed the chapter!

That one particular passage was written during a good moment, when the words were really flowing -- a good deal of the rest of the chapter was much more tricky!

As lovely as that mental image is... I think for the moment Sakura is way too pissed off / feeling very jilted to wait longingly for him. (Unless it's to give him a beat down.)

Hopefully the last chapter will be out before the next five zillion years are up... :P

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