SSDD...
Greg and I are talking (or more accurately, texting) again. I talked to Jeff on Friday night, and asked him to keep an eye on Greg and be available if he needed to talk to someone. Jeff told me that although Greg hadn't said much, he believed that he was stressed and unhappy, and that one of us needed to break the ice. Jeff seemed to think it needed to be me. I suppose to Greg's way of thinking, since I had been pretty unreceptive to any overtures he made on Wednesday, the next move would have to come from me. I don't agree - I think we should at least acknowledge the letter I wrote before any real conversation can take place, but that's neither here nor there as I DID send him a text yesterday.
Talk stayed very superficial, which isn't a surprise. I don't have any idea where we're actually at, given the limited exchange. Frankly, I'm not sure where I want to be, so not knowing isn't that big a disruption. There are things I need to know, or understand better if there's a possibility to go forward, at least on my part. And I have no idea what he's thinking or feeling about anything right now. I haven't heard anything from him today.
I'm not willing to keep going the way we've been. I need to know if all the things he talks about wanting to do are just that: talk. The truth is, I guess I don't really care what he does for a living, or how much money he makes; I'm not interested in the whining though if he wants things to be different, but isn't willing to do anything to make it different. A brand new life ain't gonna come knockin' at the door. So far, 've heard a lot about what he doesn't have and what he wants to have, but absolutely nothing has been said about how that gulf is going to be spanned. If' he's satisfied and content being a cook/bouncer through the summer, and spending the ski season instructing on the slopes, then do that. But don't bitch about wanting more if you aren't willing to do something to HAVE more. And if it's just talk, then understand I'm going to ignore it from now on. Simple enough. But I'm not going to get all wound up about stuff that's not ever going to happen anyway. It's a waste of time and energy, and I just don't give that much of a damn. Talk is cheap, and I think that's just how I'm going to have to treat it from now on. Which will probably piss him off. Which will get us right back here. I'm getting tired just thinking about it. Maybe I need to just be done, and deal with it.
Talk stayed very superficial, which isn't a surprise. I don't have any idea where we're actually at, given the limited exchange. Frankly, I'm not sure where I want to be, so not knowing isn't that big a disruption. There are things I need to know, or understand better if there's a possibility to go forward, at least on my part. And I have no idea what he's thinking or feeling about anything right now. I haven't heard anything from him today.
I'm not willing to keep going the way we've been. I need to know if all the things he talks about wanting to do are just that: talk. The truth is, I guess I don't really care what he does for a living, or how much money he makes; I'm not interested in the whining though if he wants things to be different, but isn't willing to do anything to make it different. A brand new life ain't gonna come knockin' at the door. So far, 've heard a lot about what he doesn't have and what he wants to have, but absolutely nothing has been said about how that gulf is going to be spanned. If' he's satisfied and content being a cook/bouncer through the summer, and spending the ski season instructing on the slopes, then do that. But don't bitch about wanting more if you aren't willing to do something to HAVE more. And if it's just talk, then understand I'm going to ignore it from now on. Simple enough. But I'm not going to get all wound up about stuff that's not ever going to happen anyway. It's a waste of time and energy, and I just don't give that much of a damn. Talk is cheap, and I think that's just how I'm going to have to treat it from now on. Which will probably piss him off. Which will get us right back here. I'm getting tired just thinking about it. Maybe I need to just be done, and deal with it.