Catching up
apparently with myself!
Just going to note what's been going on with G- and I the past few days. Will cover job related stuff later. Probably tomorrow.
Ok, G- and I were mean and unkind to each other over the weekend. We stayed away from each other for a couple of days and then he asked me to join him for a beer in Tuesday night. I did, and we quickly got right back to fighting. He was stuck in a self pitying swamp of misery, and I completely lost patience with it. We snapped and snarled at each other through the end of a baseball game, then through the last basketball play-off game too. We left together to continue the bitch fest at my house, and boy did we. it was kind of like playing "shots" (Mz R-'s game) except there was no alcohol involved. We both unloaded, and actually made some headway. Finally.
The next day, we traded text messages, mostly about our sex life, or more accurately, our complicated not having actual sex life. We agreed that he would come over after work and we would talk more then. THAT was an enlightening conversation. I get it, mostly. I feel much better about everything now that we finally finished this stupid circular conversation we've been having for several weeks now. It really comes down to some pretty simple stuff - as close as we are, he's scared that if we end up being incompatible, he loses the closest friend he has, and he's freaked out about that. Now, I can say all day long, I don't think we have to worry about being compatible - we have plenty of proof that we're on the right path there - but until he gets past his issues, he's not likely to hear me. Not that I didn't say so, more than once. The conclusion was, it was up to me to decide when it was going to happen.
So I picked tonight. And by morning, I was a nervous wreck. Go fucking figure - me of all people! It was like my own weird version of performance anxiety. I actually called Mz R- to admit it out loud, partially in hopes that if I heard myself say it, I would get over it. She talked me down (Thank you again my love!!!), and I figured out how to set the stage, as it were. Sje had sensible advice, and I got off the phone feeling much better.
(BTW, Mz R-, that's not the way it happened. But it's okay. In fact, it's more than okay!)
Just going to note what's been going on with G- and I the past few days. Will cover job related stuff later. Probably tomorrow.
Ok, G- and I were mean and unkind to each other over the weekend. We stayed away from each other for a couple of days and then he asked me to join him for a beer in Tuesday night. I did, and we quickly got right back to fighting. He was stuck in a self pitying swamp of misery, and I completely lost patience with it. We snapped and snarled at each other through the end of a baseball game, then through the last basketball play-off game too. We left together to continue the bitch fest at my house, and boy did we. it was kind of like playing "shots" (Mz R-'s game) except there was no alcohol involved. We both unloaded, and actually made some headway. Finally.
The next day, we traded text messages, mostly about our sex life, or more accurately, our complicated not having actual sex life. We agreed that he would come over after work and we would talk more then. THAT was an enlightening conversation. I get it, mostly. I feel much better about everything now that we finally finished this stupid circular conversation we've been having for several weeks now. It really comes down to some pretty simple stuff - as close as we are, he's scared that if we end up being incompatible, he loses the closest friend he has, and he's freaked out about that. Now, I can say all day long, I don't think we have to worry about being compatible - we have plenty of proof that we're on the right path there - but until he gets past his issues, he's not likely to hear me. Not that I didn't say so, more than once. The conclusion was, it was up to me to decide when it was going to happen.
So I picked tonight. And by morning, I was a nervous wreck. Go fucking figure - me of all people! It was like my own weird version of performance anxiety. I actually called Mz R- to admit it out loud, partially in hopes that if I heard myself say it, I would get over it. She talked me down (Thank you again my love!!!), and I figured out how to set the stage, as it were. Sje had sensible advice, and I got off the phone feeling much better.
(BTW, Mz R-, that's not the way it happened. But it's okay. In fact, it's more than okay!)