There are days...
when I miss Jerad so much I feel frozen mentally and emotionally. I can't even cry. I hate these moments. I just feel a lump in my throat and a pit in my stomach. I want to go to sleep, but it's too painful to go to an empty bed. Instead I do anything to make myself so exhausted I collapse into bed. The hardest part is the next morning when I feel like a zombie from lack of sleep and can't get anything else done...which then leads to more missing..and more zombieness. It's a wicked cycle.