(no subject)
Driving into work this morning was an unusually surreal experience. I had Radio 4 on in the background, but most of my attention was taken up by the weird patterns of mist that were lurking in the fields on either side of the road, like duvets. But then I slowly realised something very weird was happening on the Today programme, that bastion of middle-England hard-nosed current affairs debate.
Was that . . . was that the nasal tones of mad-haired genius David Lynch that I could hear? Being interviewed by the bullish Ed Sturton?? About . . . surely not! . . . about transcendental meditation?
"INSIDE US, DEEP INSIDE US ALL, IS A STATE OF BEING THAT SCIENTISTS CALL THE UNIFIED FIELD!" Lynch shouted excitedly. "AND THAT IS AVAILABLE TO ALL OF US, IT IS A STATE OF PUREST BLISS!! THE HIGHEST FORM OF BLISS WHICH ALL OF US SHOULD BE INTERACTING WITH! WE MUST BRING IT TO THE CHILDREN!"
I turned the radio up. Sturton was introducing the second guest, who was none other than (and I'm sure I wasn't dreaming all this) 60s psychedelic folk icon Donovan. Donovan wanted to see transcendental meditation introduced to inner-city Glasgow schools, to help combat youth crime.
"Now isn't it the case," challenged Sturton, with unbearable self-satisfaction, "that this kind of thing is more likely to go down well in America than here in Britain?"
Heroically, Donovan managed to resist saying "Oh, fuck off you smug cunt." Instead, he launched into a detailed explanation of the way TM has helped him access the deepest nooks of his creative being. "It has helped me develop and grow as an artist," said the man whose last hit single was in about 1974. "And to prove it, here's a little song for all your listeners." Cue acoustic guitar. "Oh, yellow like the harvest is my true love's hair! In the morning, when I rise!"
I had a brief mental image of how this was going down with everyone who'd tuned in to hear an interview with the Shadow Foreign Secretary. Perhaps having similar thoughts, Ed Sturton laughed with obvious embarrassment and tried to hand back to John Humphreys.
But someone in the gallery (perhaps meditating already) had forgotten to turn down the fader, because suddenly you could hear David Lynch again, in the background. "THIS IS REAL, ED!!" he bellowed. "THE BLISS IS REAL! HELP OUR CHILDREN FIND THE BLISS, MAN!"
"We're coming," added Donovan, in a rather sinister voice.
I swear to God I didn't imagine all this. In terms of a clash of cultures, it was as if Thomas Pynchon had just walked on to the News 24 set and started singing the Little House on the Prairie theme to Bill Turnbull.
Listen again! Here, for twenty-four hours only. Hurry . . . .
Was that . . . was that the nasal tones of mad-haired genius David Lynch that I could hear? Being interviewed by the bullish Ed Sturton?? About . . . surely not! . . . about transcendental meditation?
"INSIDE US, DEEP INSIDE US ALL, IS A STATE OF BEING THAT SCIENTISTS CALL THE UNIFIED FIELD!" Lynch shouted excitedly. "AND THAT IS AVAILABLE TO ALL OF US, IT IS A STATE OF PUREST BLISS!! THE HIGHEST FORM OF BLISS WHICH ALL OF US SHOULD BE INTERACTING WITH! WE MUST BRING IT TO THE CHILDREN!"
I turned the radio up. Sturton was introducing the second guest, who was none other than (and I'm sure I wasn't dreaming all this) 60s psychedelic folk icon Donovan. Donovan wanted to see transcendental meditation introduced to inner-city Glasgow schools, to help combat youth crime.
"Now isn't it the case," challenged Sturton, with unbearable self-satisfaction, "that this kind of thing is more likely to go down well in America than here in Britain?"
Heroically, Donovan managed to resist saying "Oh, fuck off you smug cunt." Instead, he launched into a detailed explanation of the way TM has helped him access the deepest nooks of his creative being. "It has helped me develop and grow as an artist," said the man whose last hit single was in about 1974. "And to prove it, here's a little song for all your listeners." Cue acoustic guitar. "Oh, yellow like the harvest is my true love's hair! In the morning, when I rise!"
I had a brief mental image of how this was going down with everyone who'd tuned in to hear an interview with the Shadow Foreign Secretary. Perhaps having similar thoughts, Ed Sturton laughed with obvious embarrassment and tried to hand back to John Humphreys.
But someone in the gallery (perhaps meditating already) had forgotten to turn down the fader, because suddenly you could hear David Lynch again, in the background. "THIS IS REAL, ED!!" he bellowed. "THE BLISS IS REAL! HELP OUR CHILDREN FIND THE BLISS, MAN!"
"We're coming," added Donovan, in a rather sinister voice.
I swear to God I didn't imagine all this. In terms of a clash of cultures, it was as if Thomas Pynchon had just walked on to the News 24 set and started singing the Little House on the Prairie theme to Bill Turnbull.
Listen again! Here, for twenty-four hours only. Hurry . . . .