EPISODE IN REVIEW: RESIGNATION
O. M. G. Best episode ever. I say that a lot, but then House keeps upping the stakes. Or something.
For God's sake, I want to marry high!Wilson. Or Robert Sean Leonard for being an amazing actor. I'm a bit incoherent right now about how awesome that was. So let's get straight to the review...
Kick!Ass-Girl: KILL 'IM KILL 'IM KILL 'IM KILL 'IM!
Kicked-ass!Guy: Holy crap!
Kick!Ass-Girl: *tripped out Matrix fight sequence*
Sensei-man: Neo? Wtf.
Kick!Ass-Girl: *iz ded*
House: GOOD MORNING, M'DEARS!
Cameron: Still readin'. Come back later, plz.
House: -_- *leaves*
House: HOWZ IT GOIN?
Chase: Still readin'! Come back later, plz.
House: -_- *leaves*
House: You bettah be fakking done readin'. I'll just shoot down all yer ideas anywayz.
Ducklings: Kayz!
Cuddy: Yoo sure yoo wants ta leave?
Foreman: Yes, plz.
House: He doesn't want to be liek me cuz he'z teh angst.
Foreman: *glares*
Cuddy: *hugz*
House: AWWZ! It's all AWKWARD! :D
Chase: Soooooz, why you quittin'?
Foreman: Whyz would I tell you why I quitted? Want me to get all sensitive and confide in you?
Chase: Why nawt? We had that bonding moment on the pitcher's mound last episode... *puppy eyez*
Foreman: Yer lame. I hait yoo.
Chase: AHA! Yer all ASHAMED!
Foreman: wtf.
Chase: Sooooooz, why iz Foreman quittin'?
House: He luvs teh llama-faces.
Chase: INTERESTING. YER awl ashamed TOO!
House: ..... :D Yer more than just teh pretty hair. Yoo gots teh brainz.
House: Awwwwz, you gotz me COFFEE!
Wilson: Iz cuz yer awl sad 'bout Foreman.
House: Psh. No I ain't, bitch.
Wilson: Sure you ain't.
House: I'm changin' the subject.
Wilson: Sure you are.
House: Stop tryin' to be all sly.
Wilson: *shifty eyez* But yoo totally fell for eet.
House: Wut?
Wilson: ......nuthin. :D
Foreman: Hehehe, good one, House.
Chase: ZOMG, you LAFFED at hiz JOKE and you don't wantsta leave cuz he'z a funny-funny man! I mean, House's jokes totally RAWK.
House: wow. Only you can combine a brilliant leap in logic with a huge ass-kissing. You impress me.
Chase: I triez. :-*
Poopy!Man: My bowel movements are FLOATIN'.
Fruitcake!Chick: We're vegans.
House: Eewz.
baka_sensei: Oh, clinic scenes! How I've missed yoo! *tear*
House: Itz an infection!
Ducklings: Noz.
House: Yoo guyz suck.
House: Hez cheating on you.
Fruitcake!Chick: Oh. Okayz.
House: With cowz.
Fruitcake!Chick: EEWZ!
House: Not sexually. He eats 'em
Fruitcake!Chick: GAWD! That's even WORSE!
House: ...... kayz. Yer weird. Wanna date?
Fruitcake!Chick: Yes, plz.
House: Hey thar ol' buddy, ol' pal! *suspiciously bright smile*
Wilson: I'm suspicious.
House: *suspiciously looks offended* Why?
Wilson: Cuz you gotz me coffee, and if yoo just did it to be nice, it'z teh end of the world.
House: Pithy.
Wilson: So you musta spit in eet er something. Gimme yerz.
House: See, but you weren't here in the scene afore when I pre-empted what I predicted you would do by handing you the UN-drugged cup. Now you drink the roofie and we haz teh sex! Gawd, I'm good.
Wilson: Wut?
House: ...... nuffin. :D
Wilson: How're you dealin' wiff lozin' Foreman?
House: Lozin' Foreman has made me 'preciate the OTHER things in my life. *pointed stare*
Wilson: What?
House: Awwwz. Yer cute when yer dum.
House: Itz an infection!
Ducklings: Noz.
House: Srsly. Yoo guyz suck.
Foreman: You nawt ask me why I'm quittin'.
Cameron: I figure you'll tell me if'n ya want.
Foreman: Kayz.... I don't wanna be House.
Cameron: AWWWZ! Yer nawt HOUSE! Why I never even ONCE wuz attracted to you! That showz you how un-House-like ya are right there!
Foreman: Man, yer a stupid weak-ass bitch.
Cameron: Ooooo, it'z bein' awl mean. I liek eet. :-*
Foreman: Wtf.
Kick!Ass-Girl: GRAAAAAGGGHHH! MAH HEAAAAAD!
Foreman: ZOMG! Her BRAINZ is comin' out!
baka_sensei: HER HED ASPLODE! *manic cackle*
House: I love eet.
House: *wiff camera* zomg. This is so cool!
Cameron: Wtf are you doin?
House: I hope her head asplodes again. I send it to America's Funniest Home Videos and win all tonz of moniez! :D
Foreman: Srsly. Wtf.
House: Itz an infection!
Chase: No it IZN'T. We should do wut I say!
House: Great, and when ya killz her, Foreman can give you angsty-man lessons! Isn't that right Foreman, you lil emo baby? Awwz, iz it gonna cry? Don't cry little whiney baby-man!
Foreman: *tear* Yer such an asshole.
House: CUDDY! Bring me teh popcorn. There's gonna be a heart-attack a showin'!
Cuddy: Wut teh fakk is wrong wiff you?
Cameron: Shez gonna be okay!
House: ..... wut? Lame. Oh, well! Cuddy! Let'z go dance in teh streets cuz I am teh HAPPY for some unknown reason!
Cuddy: Srsly. wtf.
High!Wilson: CURSE YOU LABEL! STOP MOCKING ME WITH YOUR JUMPING AROUND AND REFUSING TO STICK ON TEH PAGE!
Foreman: O__O uhhhh.... maybe I'll just come back later.
High!Wilson: No, no, no, see, I wanted to talk to you, don't you think that you're jumpin' to conclusions I mean why are you quittin' and all--
Foreman: holy hell. Yer talkin' in run-on sentences.
High!Wilson: NOZ! I mean, yer symbolililically... symbology... SYMBOL-TREE.... jeez, that's a hard word...wut? wut did I just say?
Foreman: Are you okay?
High!Wilson: Yes, yes, I mean yer tryin' to pretend to kill him by quittin' and HOLY SHIT, looka the time I gotz a boob thing! brb, jk, lol. wut?
Foreman: .....wtf.
High!Wilson: I knowz he wantz yoo, yoo wantz him too and he'll make yoo all good, he givez teh best blow jobz after awl---
Foreman: WUT?
High!Wilson: wut did I say? Did I just say that out loud? OH! BEWBIES! *sashays off*
Foreman: Okay. I am DEFINITELY quitting.
High!Wilson: HELLO, bewbie-lady, how're thingz and awl that and tell me of yer day--
Bewbie!Lady: Uhhhh...
High!Wilson: I can't get me glove on that doesn't happen a lot and awl that so why're you here and why can't I get thiz glove on and all--
Bewbie!Lady: Wow, you talk all fast.
High!Wilson: You should see me on a busy day *lewdly winks* zomg that wuz so wrong why did I do that I'm liek totally gay anywayz--
Bewbie!Lady: Uhhhh...
High!Wilson: Am I sweating? Do you think my heart-rate iz awl fast, lemme see yer heart-rate-checker thing... ZOMG it'z 185 and that's liek nawt good, I think I'm tripping and Imma go kill someone scuze me now--- *sashays off*
Bewbie!Lady: Wtf. I am DEFINITELY not coming here again.
High!Wilson: HOLY CRAP you ass you dosed me I mean if you wanted to get in my pants you only had to ask and there are all these pretty lights and all and gimme a vicodin 'fore my heart stops---
House: wow, yer fun like this. :D
High!Wilson: No, srsly, I'mma kill you and wut the hell wuz up with that you crazy gimpy asshole and *YAWN*
House: HA! I knew it! Yer awl sad and on the ZOLOFT!
High!Wilson: Soz wut, I won't give you none, you crazy sad guy wut with yer limp and all and itz none of yer business anyway cuz you don't want a real relationship just fuckin' and WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!? *tear*
House: Whoa. Yer all depressed.
High!Wilson: *sniffles* We've established that. Hold me.
House: *pats* Awwwz. Iz okay. I love you.
High!Wilson: Rly?
House: No, not rly. Yer awl high.
High!Wilson: Okayz... *cuddlez*
House: Heeeee! Srsly. You should get high wiff me more often.
baka_sensei: Yes, plz. That wuz awesome.
House: Shez gonne die but I wuz right! RING THE TRUMPETS!
Chase: That doesn't make any sense.
House: Shut teh fakk up. I'm happy. Manic, one might say. HEEEEE!
Cameron: zomg.
Foreman: Yooz don't even know their NAMEZ, you JERK!
House: AWWWZ! You DOO wanna stay cuz yer tryin' to make me into a NICE guy asshole!
Foreman: Zomg. I hait yoo. Fer rl.
House: Oh, wellz. I gotz a patient to tell that she'z a DYIN'. IT'z a good day...
Foreman: Holy shit.
House: HUZZAH! Yooz gonna die! It's really cool the way itz gonna happen too, cuz liek...
Kick!Ass-Girl: I don't wanna know why.
House: Wha? But.... why nawt? Yer weird. :D
Kick!Ass-Girl: Why are you SMILING?
House: Wut? I'm nawt.... *seez mirror* Holy crap. Imma kill Wilson. *sashays off*
High!Wilson: Yoo just sashayed. Kickass.
House: I hait yoo.
House: WILSON!
Hung-over!Wilson: GAH! Keep it down.
House: You DOSED me!
Hung-over!Wilson: Yah, and now we're even. Wuts teh fakking problem?
House: .... you have a point. We have teh hawt butt secks later.
Wilson: Kayz. ;-*
House: But still, I've been HAZY!
Hung-over!Wilson: Happy!
House: WutEV! I mean, I'm NAWT all depressed.... wait a minute... depressed... the patient... GOTTA GO.
Hung-over!Wilson: That's all convenient how I decided to dose him with anti-depressants on the day he has a suicidal patient. :D
baka_sensei: I love eet when the different story lines all tie together....
House: She'll LIVE!
Parents: YAYZ!
House: She tried ta KILL herself!
Parents: NOZ!
House: I didn't haveta tell ya, but I did, cuz I'm a good guy like that.... DAMMIT! THE PROZAC MAKES ME A DECENT PERSON! Never again... never again...
Parents: wtf.
Fruitcake!Chick: Here, have some TEA!
House: I hait tea.
baka_sensei's mom: No he doesn't! He'z really BRITISH so he LIKES tea! HAHAHA! I'm so funny!
baka_sensei: .... gawd.... sometimez I really hait yoo....
For God's sake, I want to marry high!Wilson. Or Robert Sean Leonard for being an amazing actor. I'm a bit incoherent right now about how awesome that was. So let's get straight to the review...
Kick!Ass-Girl: KILL 'IM KILL 'IM KILL 'IM KILL 'IM!
Kicked-ass!Guy: Holy crap!
Kick!Ass-Girl: *tripped out Matrix fight sequence*
Sensei-man: Neo? Wtf.
Kick!Ass-Girl: *iz ded*
House: GOOD MORNING, M'DEARS!
Cameron: Still readin'. Come back later, plz.
House: -_- *leaves*
House: HOWZ IT GOIN?
Chase: Still readin'! Come back later, plz.
House: -_- *leaves*
House: You bettah be fakking done readin'. I'll just shoot down all yer ideas anywayz.
Ducklings: Kayz!
Cuddy: Yoo sure yoo wants ta leave?
Foreman: Yes, plz.
House: He doesn't want to be liek me cuz he'z teh angst.
Foreman: *glares*
Cuddy: *hugz*
House: AWWZ! It's all AWKWARD! :D
Chase: Soooooz, why you quittin'?
Foreman: Whyz would I tell you why I quitted? Want me to get all sensitive and confide in you?
Chase: Why nawt? We had that bonding moment on the pitcher's mound last episode... *puppy eyez*
Foreman: Yer lame. I hait yoo.
Chase: AHA! Yer all ASHAMED!
Foreman: wtf.
Chase: Sooooooz, why iz Foreman quittin'?
House: He luvs teh llama-faces.
Chase: INTERESTING. YER awl ashamed TOO!
House: ..... :D Yer more than just teh pretty hair. Yoo gots teh brainz.
House: Awwwwz, you gotz me COFFEE!
Wilson: Iz cuz yer awl sad 'bout Foreman.
House: Psh. No I ain't, bitch.
Wilson: Sure you ain't.
House: I'm changin' the subject.
Wilson: Sure you are.
House: Stop tryin' to be all sly.
Wilson: *shifty eyez* But yoo totally fell for eet.
House: Wut?
Wilson: ......nuthin. :D
Foreman: Hehehe, good one, House.
Chase: ZOMG, you LAFFED at hiz JOKE and you don't wantsta leave cuz he'z a funny-funny man! I mean, House's jokes totally RAWK.
House: wow. Only you can combine a brilliant leap in logic with a huge ass-kissing. You impress me.
Chase: I triez. :-*
Poopy!Man: My bowel movements are FLOATIN'.
Fruitcake!Chick: We're vegans.
House: Eewz.
baka_sensei: Oh, clinic scenes! How I've missed yoo! *tear*
House: Itz an infection!
Ducklings: Noz.
House: Yoo guyz suck.
House: Hez cheating on you.
Fruitcake!Chick: Oh. Okayz.
House: With cowz.
Fruitcake!Chick: EEWZ!
House: Not sexually. He eats 'em
Fruitcake!Chick: GAWD! That's even WORSE!
House: ...... kayz. Yer weird. Wanna date?
Fruitcake!Chick: Yes, plz.
House: Hey thar ol' buddy, ol' pal! *suspiciously bright smile*
Wilson: I'm suspicious.
House: *suspiciously looks offended* Why?
Wilson: Cuz you gotz me coffee, and if yoo just did it to be nice, it'z teh end of the world.
House: Pithy.
Wilson: So you musta spit in eet er something. Gimme yerz.
House: See, but you weren't here in the scene afore when I pre-empted what I predicted you would do by handing you the UN-drugged cup. Now you drink the roofie and we haz teh sex! Gawd, I'm good.
Wilson: Wut?
House: ...... nuffin. :D
Wilson: How're you dealin' wiff lozin' Foreman?
House: Lozin' Foreman has made me 'preciate the OTHER things in my life. *pointed stare*
Wilson: What?
House: Awwwz. Yer cute when yer dum.
House: Itz an infection!
Ducklings: Noz.
House: Srsly. Yoo guyz suck.
Foreman: You nawt ask me why I'm quittin'.
Cameron: I figure you'll tell me if'n ya want.
Foreman: Kayz.... I don't wanna be House.
Cameron: AWWWZ! Yer nawt HOUSE! Why I never even ONCE wuz attracted to you! That showz you how un-House-like ya are right there!
Foreman: Man, yer a stupid weak-ass bitch.
Cameron: Ooooo, it'z bein' awl mean. I liek eet. :-*
Foreman: Wtf.
Kick!Ass-Girl: GRAAAAAGGGHHH! MAH HEAAAAAD!
Foreman: ZOMG! Her BRAINZ is comin' out!
baka_sensei: HER HED ASPLODE! *manic cackle*
House: I love eet.
House: *wiff camera* zomg. This is so cool!
Cameron: Wtf are you doin?
House: I hope her head asplodes again. I send it to America's Funniest Home Videos and win all tonz of moniez! :D
Foreman: Srsly. Wtf.
House: Itz an infection!
Chase: No it IZN'T. We should do wut I say!
House: Great, and when ya killz her, Foreman can give you angsty-man lessons! Isn't that right Foreman, you lil emo baby? Awwz, iz it gonna cry? Don't cry little whiney baby-man!
Foreman: *tear* Yer such an asshole.
House: CUDDY! Bring me teh popcorn. There's gonna be a heart-attack a showin'!
Cuddy: Wut teh fakk is wrong wiff you?
Cameron: Shez gonna be okay!
House: ..... wut? Lame. Oh, well! Cuddy! Let'z go dance in teh streets cuz I am teh HAPPY for some unknown reason!
Cuddy: Srsly. wtf.
High!Wilson: CURSE YOU LABEL! STOP MOCKING ME WITH YOUR JUMPING AROUND AND REFUSING TO STICK ON TEH PAGE!
Foreman: O__O uhhhh.... maybe I'll just come back later.
High!Wilson: No, no, no, see, I wanted to talk to you, don't you think that you're jumpin' to conclusions I mean why are you quittin' and all--
Foreman: holy hell. Yer talkin' in run-on sentences.
High!Wilson: NOZ! I mean, yer symbolililically... symbology... SYMBOL-TREE.... jeez, that's a hard word...wut? wut did I just say?
Foreman: Are you okay?
High!Wilson: Yes, yes, I mean yer tryin' to pretend to kill him by quittin' and HOLY SHIT, looka the time I gotz a boob thing! brb, jk, lol. wut?
Foreman: .....wtf.
High!Wilson: I knowz he wantz yoo, yoo wantz him too and he'll make yoo all good, he givez teh best blow jobz after awl---
Foreman: WUT?
High!Wilson: wut did I say? Did I just say that out loud? OH! BEWBIES! *sashays off*
Foreman: Okay. I am DEFINITELY quitting.
High!Wilson: HELLO, bewbie-lady, how're thingz and awl that and tell me of yer day--
Bewbie!Lady: Uhhhh...
High!Wilson: I can't get me glove on that doesn't happen a lot and awl that so why're you here and why can't I get thiz glove on and all--
Bewbie!Lady: Wow, you talk all fast.
High!Wilson: You should see me on a busy day *lewdly winks* zomg that wuz so wrong why did I do that I'm liek totally gay anywayz--
Bewbie!Lady: Uhhhh...
High!Wilson: Am I sweating? Do you think my heart-rate iz awl fast, lemme see yer heart-rate-checker thing... ZOMG it'z 185 and that's liek nawt good, I think I'm tripping and Imma go kill someone scuze me now--- *sashays off*
Bewbie!Lady: Wtf. I am DEFINITELY not coming here again.
High!Wilson: HOLY CRAP you ass you dosed me I mean if you wanted to get in my pants you only had to ask and there are all these pretty lights and all and gimme a vicodin 'fore my heart stops---
House: wow, yer fun like this. :D
High!Wilson: No, srsly, I'mma kill you and wut the hell wuz up with that you crazy gimpy asshole and *YAWN*
House: HA! I knew it! Yer awl sad and on the ZOLOFT!
High!Wilson: Soz wut, I won't give you none, you crazy sad guy wut with yer limp and all and itz none of yer business anyway cuz you don't want a real relationship just fuckin' and WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!? *tear*
House: Whoa. Yer all depressed.
High!Wilson: *sniffles* We've established that. Hold me.
House: *pats* Awwwz. Iz okay. I love you.
High!Wilson: Rly?
House: No, not rly. Yer awl high.
High!Wilson: Okayz... *cuddlez*
House: Heeeee! Srsly. You should get high wiff me more often.
baka_sensei: Yes, plz. That wuz awesome.
House: Shez gonne die but I wuz right! RING THE TRUMPETS!
Chase: That doesn't make any sense.
House: Shut teh fakk up. I'm happy. Manic, one might say. HEEEEE!
Cameron: zomg.
Foreman: Yooz don't even know their NAMEZ, you JERK!
House: AWWWZ! You DOO wanna stay cuz yer tryin' to make me into a NICE guy asshole!
Foreman: Zomg. I hait yoo. Fer rl.
House: Oh, wellz. I gotz a patient to tell that she'z a DYIN'. IT'z a good day...
Foreman: Holy shit.
House: HUZZAH! Yooz gonna die! It's really cool the way itz gonna happen too, cuz liek...
Kick!Ass-Girl: I don't wanna know why.
House: Wha? But.... why nawt? Yer weird. :D
Kick!Ass-Girl: Why are you SMILING?
House: Wut? I'm nawt.... *seez mirror* Holy crap. Imma kill Wilson. *sashays off*
High!Wilson: Yoo just sashayed. Kickass.
House: I hait yoo.
House: WILSON!
Hung-over!Wilson: GAH! Keep it down.
House: You DOSED me!
Hung-over!Wilson: Yah, and now we're even. Wuts teh fakking problem?
House: .... you have a point. We have teh hawt butt secks later.
Wilson: Kayz. ;-*
House: But still, I've been HAZY!
Hung-over!Wilson: Happy!
House: WutEV! I mean, I'm NAWT all depressed.... wait a minute... depressed... the patient... GOTTA GO.
Hung-over!Wilson: That's all convenient how I decided to dose him with anti-depressants on the day he has a suicidal patient. :D
baka_sensei: I love eet when the different story lines all tie together....
House: She'll LIVE!
Parents: YAYZ!
House: She tried ta KILL herself!
Parents: NOZ!
House: I didn't haveta tell ya, but I did, cuz I'm a good guy like that.... DAMMIT! THE PROZAC MAKES ME A DECENT PERSON! Never again... never again...
Parents: wtf.
Fruitcake!Chick: Here, have some TEA!
House: I hait tea.
baka_sensei's mom: No he doesn't! He'z really BRITISH so he LIKES tea! HAHAHA! I'm so funny!
baka_sensei: .... gawd.... sometimez I really hait yoo....