(no subject)
I'm having "a day." I feel crabby, bored and unusually anxious. I cried about not going out. I cried about crying about not going out. I sat in my parents room and watched tv with them while my husband went out. And my mother lectured me on how it was actually MY fault, because I could have gone out if I just changed my attitude and said I could.
I would get into the whole thing, but I already am over getting emotional about it.
I wrote an old friend to tell him how awesome I think he is, and I think I just came across as creepy. He didn't reply. Now I'm paranoid that I worded it wrong and somehow offended him. Because that's the sort of day I'm having. I just wanted ONE positive thing. And I though, Hey... I'll tell my friend Jon how even though I'm not religious, he doesn't make me feel bad about him being religious like other religious people do, and his faith is inspiring. I want him to know how awesome he is. But I probably came across as all, "I hate religion, but you're okay..." I just wanted to say something nice to someone and brighten their day, because my day was sucking. But I probably made his whole day off too.
Uhg. Where did my person skills go? I feel all awkward and sad. I miss meeting new people, and going places. I feel tethered. Stuck. Nostalgic for times when I went out, danced and drank like I didn't have to work the next day. Now I don't have to work, and I can't go out at all. I'm sorry, I CAN go out, I just have to TRY HARDER TO BE POSITIVE. Next week I'll sit in a dimly lit club, listening to music I don't really like and watch people grind on each other in disgust with my husband. Then I'll rush everyone home because I'm about to run out of o2. NO REGRETS.
I would get into the whole thing, but I already am over getting emotional about it.
I wrote an old friend to tell him how awesome I think he is, and I think I just came across as creepy. He didn't reply. Now I'm paranoid that I worded it wrong and somehow offended him. Because that's the sort of day I'm having. I just wanted ONE positive thing. And I though, Hey... I'll tell my friend Jon how even though I'm not religious, he doesn't make me feel bad about him being religious like other religious people do, and his faith is inspiring. I want him to know how awesome he is. But I probably came across as all, "I hate religion, but you're okay..." I just wanted to say something nice to someone and brighten their day, because my day was sucking. But I probably made his whole day off too.
Uhg. Where did my person skills go? I feel all awkward and sad. I miss meeting new people, and going places. I feel tethered. Stuck. Nostalgic for times when I went out, danced and drank like I didn't have to work the next day. Now I don't have to work, and I can't go out at all. I'm sorry, I CAN go out, I just have to TRY HARDER TO BE POSITIVE. Next week I'll sit in a dimly lit club, listening to music I don't really like and watch people grind on each other in disgust with my husband. Then I'll rush everyone home because I'm about to run out of o2. NO REGRETS.