FF: Cross Roads 12
Title: Cross Roads
Chapter: 12
Summary: Life is never easy and is forever tossing curve balls. Gibbs has been caught in the explosion, but what is happening with everyone else. This is a SlashMPreg story, nothing to graphic but rating may change as the story continues.
TV Show: NCIS
Characters: DiNozzo/Gibbs, Ducky, Ziva, McGee, Abby, Jen
Disclaimer: I don't own them, only wish that I did.
A/N: This is a work in progress, not sure how far it will go, but hopefully it's worth the ride!
Chapter Twelve.
He stood staring at his reflection in the mirror. It had been three days since he'd been released from the hospital but this was the first chance he'd had to simply take stock of the changes his body was going through. He'd spent the day lazing around his apartment, watching movies and trying not to climb the walls to much and had finally decided to have a nice long hot shower. That had been fine, what had started of this bout of contemplation was the fact that he couldn't do up the button on his favourite jeans, the ones that were well worn and just a little loose. That was when it had really hit him. Never mind that for the past three months he'd been feeling exhausted, and continually battling morning sickness and his hormones had been running amuck, it took him not being able to button his favourite jeans to really drive it home that he was pregnant. That he was going to have a baby in just less under six months time. And that scared the shit out of him.
Ok so he'd had a couple of months to come to terms with the fact that he was pregnant. And any time he was able to push it to the back of his mind he'd be hit with a wave of nausea. Which brought him to another train of though, who the hell had termed it 'morning' sickness, because he sure as hell didn't get sick just in the mornings, try morning, noon and night and then add in any other time of the day and you were coming close to it.
And yes he'd been pushing himself too hard over the past couple of months, both before and after he knew he was pregnant but he had good reasons. Didn't he? I mean there was the whole terrorist thing, then the Gibbs getting blown up thing, then the Gibbs leaving thing. Someone had to step up and take charge, and everyone had looked to him, and hadn't that been a kick in the ass. Then he'd had to work twice as hard making sure that everyone was keeping it together and that the team still ran smoothly. Ok so maybe he hadn't taken as much time for himself as he should have and maybe he had been in a certain amount of denial about being pregnant, but who wouldn't be in his situation!
He'd never even thought about having kids, it had never even come up in casual conversation between him and Gibbs. Hell he hadn't even known that Gibbs had had a daughter until after he'd woken up with amnesia. But it shouldn't have surprised Tony as much as it had, after all Gibbs was a natural with kids, kids loved him. It was just the adults who had a problem with him.
But kids and Tony? Well that wasn't such a good combination.
Kids hated him.
With a passion.
How the hell was he going to do this? And alone?
Ok so he had Abby and Ducky to help him, but he couldn't expect them to be there all the time. They had their own lives. And even if by some miracle that this baby didn't come out hating him how the hell could he raise a child on his own? He'd screw it up worse than his parent had done to him, and they'd done one hell of a job at raising him!
He stood mesmerised by his reflection, standing straight on his bump was hardly noticeable, but as soon as he turned a little to the side you could see the bump quite clearly. There was no denying that Anthony Michael DiNozzo was indeed pregnant.
He felt himself crumple to the floor in front of his mirror as the enormity of that statement sank in.
He. Was. Pregnant.
He was going to have a baby.
And he was all alone.
He didn't know how long he'd sat there, tears streaming down his face. But he knew it must have been a while.
He was cold.
And the reason that he knew he was cold? Well that would be because he was now surrounded in one of Abby's all encompassing hugs that threatened to crush the life out of you if you weren't ready for it. But this one was full of warmth and comfort as her soft crooning eased its way into his head.
Abby had rushed out of her lab as soon as she could, she wanted to see Tony. She knew how bored he was, after all they'd already spoken a couple of times today on the phone when she hadn't been busy. Today had been slow so she'd decided to take off a little early, she'd rung and told the Director and Ducky and McGee where she was going, it was her night to check on him after all. After Tony collapsing in her lab she worried about him just that bit more than she had before. She knew how stressful male pregnancies were, and Tony just never did anything the easy way. So when the rest of the team had been let in on his "secret" they had gotten together and set out a roster of sorts to keep an eye on Tony. They took it in turns to go and visit him while he was at home, and there were usually several phone calls between any and all of them during the day. But they all agreed. Tony came first. They couldn't afford to loose him, even if he himself didn't realize just how much they all cared about him.
Abby chuckled to herself.
She and Tony had become friends quickly after Gibbs had ordered him to join NCIS. She could remember many late nights clubbing or relaxing at one of their apartments just talking. About Gibbs, about NCIS, about themselves and about life in general. It was rare that they fought about anything, disagreed and debated yes, but fought? Not so much.
But the one thing that could get Abby angry in under 30 seconds was the way that Tony thought he was expendable. Not worth the trouble. Hell if that was the case then there was no way in hell Gibbs would have fought so hard to get him to NCIS in the first place. Tony had no idea the lengths that Gibbs had gone to smooth the way for him. No one but she and Gibbs knew all that he'd done to make it happen. Tony was good at what he did, very good. Even if his track record didn't look so good on paper his superior officers had fought to keep him at each of his previous jobs. But it had been Tony who had ultimately taken the choice out of their hands. He'd thought that he was simply lucky with finding new jobs so easily, but it was more that his reputation preceded him all the way from his academy days. It was a well hidden fact that he had graduated top of his class and every one of his instructors had seen his potential, had made a note of it in his file even. But Tony just didn't see it in himself. Papa DiNozzo had done one hell of a job on his only child.
It had been one night, not long after he had joined NCIS, that Tony had confided that he didn't know why Gibbs had hired him. He'd heard what some of the other agents had been saying about him, that he was lazy and that they didn't understand how someone like him could land on Gibbs' team without any prior experience at NCIS. They had argued about it many times and had ended up agreeing to "talk" about it again.
The food that she had picked up on her way to Tony's now lay forgotten in the lounge room as she held onto her friend. Her heart had skipped several beat when she'd entered his apartment and he hadn't answered her calls. When she found him crumbled on the floor in front of his mirror crying. She'd gone to him and pulled him close to her. She knew that he didn't even realize that she was there with him at first. He sat there, shattered and broken and there was nothing more that she could do for him at the moment other than hold him.
It broke her heart to see her friend like this. But a part of her was just plain angry at Gibbs for breaking her friend like this. Even if it hadn't been his fault, she was still mad. Gibbs had just up and left. No word to anyone, as if none of them mattered. She had no idea how Tony had managed to stay so strong while Gibbs had been gone, she'd missed him so much had even gone so far as to build a shrine to him in her lab, which she had been quick to hide whenever she expected Tony to appear. And now that Gibbs appeared to be back? Well nothing had changed as far as she could see. Gibbs still wasn't here. Still hadn't talked to Tony. Well not that Tony had told her and she was sure that he would have.
She didn't know how long they had sat on the floor but she knew it had been a while. Her legs had gone numb and even she was starting to feel a little cool. Tony felt chilled to her. It was time to move.
"Tony we need to move, get you into your nice warm bed." Abby crooned into his ear. "Do you think you can help me?"
Tony shuddered and nodded before he pulled away.
"s'rry."
"Hey you have nothing to be sorry about," she scolded lightly as she hugged him just that little bit tighter. "You don't have to be strong all the time you know. I'm here for you, hell we're all here for you Tony. You just have to let us help you."
Tony shuddered.
"Oh Tony what am I going to do with you."
Tony shrugged and unsteadily got up to his feet and shuffled his way over to his bed with Abby's help. God how long had he been on the floor?
"Sorry Abbs." He felt so tired, so cold and tired. His bed felt so wonderful with the crisp cotton sheets and the fluffy feather comforter. He'd never been good at letting people in, he'd learned at far too young an age that if you let people in then they had the power to hurt you. So he'd learned to depend on himself, and unlearning that was something that he was still having trouble doing even after nearly six years at NCIS and working with Gibbs.
Hell he'd never loved anyone as much as he loved Gibbs. Had never been loved by anyone as much as he had been loved by Gibbs, and the rest of his new family. He just didn't know how to deal with that love, with that support. So in times of stress he tended to fall back on old behaviours, old patterns. The only person who'd even remotely had any chance of stopping him from doing that in the past had been Gibbs. But Gibbs had left, Gibbs was no longer here. And now he was so lost. He kept wanting to reach out for help from Abby and Ducky but had always felt himself retreating before he'd been able to ask for their help. Not that that had stopped them really.
"Oh Tony." Abby sighed as she pulled the comforter up around Tony's shoulders and lent down and kissed his forehead. "You don't have to apologize. This is what family does for one another."
Tony closed his eyes as he felt the tears start to overwhelm him again. Damn these hormones. With Abby here he could almost believe that everything was going to be all right. But then for everything to be all right he needed Gibbs here. And that was why he just shouldn't let people get to close.
They always left him.
He always ended up alone.
"You just rest for a while. I'm going go heat up the food I brought and give the Duckman a quick call."
Tony’s eyes shot open at that.
"No! I'm fine, I'll be all right...."
"Uh!" Abby said as she raised a finger.
He wanted to protest more, but the tone of her voice, the look on her face and the raised finger spoke of dire consequences if he so much as thought of another protest. So instead he snuggled further down into his bed and waited. He knew that he'd be getting a visit from Ducky and probably a lecture about how he wasn't taking proper care of himself. Again.
And in some odd way it helped to warm him a little.
Maybe things weren't so bad.
And on the street Gibbs sat in his car, watching and waiting. As he had done every night since Tony had been released from the hospital.
Chapter: 12
Summary: Life is never easy and is forever tossing curve balls. Gibbs has been caught in the explosion, but what is happening with everyone else. This is a SlashMPreg story, nothing to graphic but rating may change as the story continues.
TV Show: NCIS
Characters: DiNozzo/Gibbs, Ducky, Ziva, McGee, Abby, Jen
Disclaimer: I don't own them, only wish that I did.
A/N: This is a work in progress, not sure how far it will go, but hopefully it's worth the ride!
Chapter Twelve.
He stood staring at his reflection in the mirror. It had been three days since he'd been released from the hospital but this was the first chance he'd had to simply take stock of the changes his body was going through. He'd spent the day lazing around his apartment, watching movies and trying not to climb the walls to much and had finally decided to have a nice long hot shower. That had been fine, what had started of this bout of contemplation was the fact that he couldn't do up the button on his favourite jeans, the ones that were well worn and just a little loose. That was when it had really hit him. Never mind that for the past three months he'd been feeling exhausted, and continually battling morning sickness and his hormones had been running amuck, it took him not being able to button his favourite jeans to really drive it home that he was pregnant. That he was going to have a baby in just less under six months time. And that scared the shit out of him.
Ok so he'd had a couple of months to come to terms with the fact that he was pregnant. And any time he was able to push it to the back of his mind he'd be hit with a wave of nausea. Which brought him to another train of though, who the hell had termed it 'morning' sickness, because he sure as hell didn't get sick just in the mornings, try morning, noon and night and then add in any other time of the day and you were coming close to it.
And yes he'd been pushing himself too hard over the past couple of months, both before and after he knew he was pregnant but he had good reasons. Didn't he? I mean there was the whole terrorist thing, then the Gibbs getting blown up thing, then the Gibbs leaving thing. Someone had to step up and take charge, and everyone had looked to him, and hadn't that been a kick in the ass. Then he'd had to work twice as hard making sure that everyone was keeping it together and that the team still ran smoothly. Ok so maybe he hadn't taken as much time for himself as he should have and maybe he had been in a certain amount of denial about being pregnant, but who wouldn't be in his situation!
He'd never even thought about having kids, it had never even come up in casual conversation between him and Gibbs. Hell he hadn't even known that Gibbs had had a daughter until after he'd woken up with amnesia. But it shouldn't have surprised Tony as much as it had, after all Gibbs was a natural with kids, kids loved him. It was just the adults who had a problem with him.
But kids and Tony? Well that wasn't such a good combination.
Kids hated him.
With a passion.
How the hell was he going to do this? And alone?
Ok so he had Abby and Ducky to help him, but he couldn't expect them to be there all the time. They had their own lives. And even if by some miracle that this baby didn't come out hating him how the hell could he raise a child on his own? He'd screw it up worse than his parent had done to him, and they'd done one hell of a job at raising him!
He stood mesmerised by his reflection, standing straight on his bump was hardly noticeable, but as soon as he turned a little to the side you could see the bump quite clearly. There was no denying that Anthony Michael DiNozzo was indeed pregnant.
He felt himself crumple to the floor in front of his mirror as the enormity of that statement sank in.
He. Was. Pregnant.
He was going to have a baby.
And he was all alone.
He didn't know how long he'd sat there, tears streaming down his face. But he knew it must have been a while.
He was cold.
And the reason that he knew he was cold? Well that would be because he was now surrounded in one of Abby's all encompassing hugs that threatened to crush the life out of you if you weren't ready for it. But this one was full of warmth and comfort as her soft crooning eased its way into his head.
Abby had rushed out of her lab as soon as she could, she wanted to see Tony. She knew how bored he was, after all they'd already spoken a couple of times today on the phone when she hadn't been busy. Today had been slow so she'd decided to take off a little early, she'd rung and told the Director and Ducky and McGee where she was going, it was her night to check on him after all. After Tony collapsing in her lab she worried about him just that bit more than she had before. She knew how stressful male pregnancies were, and Tony just never did anything the easy way. So when the rest of the team had been let in on his "secret" they had gotten together and set out a roster of sorts to keep an eye on Tony. They took it in turns to go and visit him while he was at home, and there were usually several phone calls between any and all of them during the day. But they all agreed. Tony came first. They couldn't afford to loose him, even if he himself didn't realize just how much they all cared about him.
Abby chuckled to herself.
She and Tony had become friends quickly after Gibbs had ordered him to join NCIS. She could remember many late nights clubbing or relaxing at one of their apartments just talking. About Gibbs, about NCIS, about themselves and about life in general. It was rare that they fought about anything, disagreed and debated yes, but fought? Not so much.
But the one thing that could get Abby angry in under 30 seconds was the way that Tony thought he was expendable. Not worth the trouble. Hell if that was the case then there was no way in hell Gibbs would have fought so hard to get him to NCIS in the first place. Tony had no idea the lengths that Gibbs had gone to smooth the way for him. No one but she and Gibbs knew all that he'd done to make it happen. Tony was good at what he did, very good. Even if his track record didn't look so good on paper his superior officers had fought to keep him at each of his previous jobs. But it had been Tony who had ultimately taken the choice out of their hands. He'd thought that he was simply lucky with finding new jobs so easily, but it was more that his reputation preceded him all the way from his academy days. It was a well hidden fact that he had graduated top of his class and every one of his instructors had seen his potential, had made a note of it in his file even. But Tony just didn't see it in himself. Papa DiNozzo had done one hell of a job on his only child.
It had been one night, not long after he had joined NCIS, that Tony had confided that he didn't know why Gibbs had hired him. He'd heard what some of the other agents had been saying about him, that he was lazy and that they didn't understand how someone like him could land on Gibbs' team without any prior experience at NCIS. They had argued about it many times and had ended up agreeing to "talk" about it again.
The food that she had picked up on her way to Tony's now lay forgotten in the lounge room as she held onto her friend. Her heart had skipped several beat when she'd entered his apartment and he hadn't answered her calls. When she found him crumbled on the floor in front of his mirror crying. She'd gone to him and pulled him close to her. She knew that he didn't even realize that she was there with him at first. He sat there, shattered and broken and there was nothing more that she could do for him at the moment other than hold him.
It broke her heart to see her friend like this. But a part of her was just plain angry at Gibbs for breaking her friend like this. Even if it hadn't been his fault, she was still mad. Gibbs had just up and left. No word to anyone, as if none of them mattered. She had no idea how Tony had managed to stay so strong while Gibbs had been gone, she'd missed him so much had even gone so far as to build a shrine to him in her lab, which she had been quick to hide whenever she expected Tony to appear. And now that Gibbs appeared to be back? Well nothing had changed as far as she could see. Gibbs still wasn't here. Still hadn't talked to Tony. Well not that Tony had told her and she was sure that he would have.
She didn't know how long they had sat on the floor but she knew it had been a while. Her legs had gone numb and even she was starting to feel a little cool. Tony felt chilled to her. It was time to move.
"Tony we need to move, get you into your nice warm bed." Abby crooned into his ear. "Do you think you can help me?"
Tony shuddered and nodded before he pulled away.
"s'rry."
"Hey you have nothing to be sorry about," she scolded lightly as she hugged him just that little bit tighter. "You don't have to be strong all the time you know. I'm here for you, hell we're all here for you Tony. You just have to let us help you."
Tony shuddered.
"Oh Tony what am I going to do with you."
Tony shrugged and unsteadily got up to his feet and shuffled his way over to his bed with Abby's help. God how long had he been on the floor?
"Sorry Abbs." He felt so tired, so cold and tired. His bed felt so wonderful with the crisp cotton sheets and the fluffy feather comforter. He'd never been good at letting people in, he'd learned at far too young an age that if you let people in then they had the power to hurt you. So he'd learned to depend on himself, and unlearning that was something that he was still having trouble doing even after nearly six years at NCIS and working with Gibbs.
Hell he'd never loved anyone as much as he loved Gibbs. Had never been loved by anyone as much as he had been loved by Gibbs, and the rest of his new family. He just didn't know how to deal with that love, with that support. So in times of stress he tended to fall back on old behaviours, old patterns. The only person who'd even remotely had any chance of stopping him from doing that in the past had been Gibbs. But Gibbs had left, Gibbs was no longer here. And now he was so lost. He kept wanting to reach out for help from Abby and Ducky but had always felt himself retreating before he'd been able to ask for their help. Not that that had stopped them really.
"Oh Tony." Abby sighed as she pulled the comforter up around Tony's shoulders and lent down and kissed his forehead. "You don't have to apologize. This is what family does for one another."
Tony closed his eyes as he felt the tears start to overwhelm him again. Damn these hormones. With Abby here he could almost believe that everything was going to be all right. But then for everything to be all right he needed Gibbs here. And that was why he just shouldn't let people get to close.
They always left him.
He always ended up alone.
"You just rest for a while. I'm going go heat up the food I brought and give the Duckman a quick call."
Tony’s eyes shot open at that.
"No! I'm fine, I'll be all right...."
"Uh!" Abby said as she raised a finger.
He wanted to protest more, but the tone of her voice, the look on her face and the raised finger spoke of dire consequences if he so much as thought of another protest. So instead he snuggled further down into his bed and waited. He knew that he'd be getting a visit from Ducky and probably a lecture about how he wasn't taking proper care of himself. Again.
And in some odd way it helped to warm him a little.
Maybe things weren't so bad.
And on the street Gibbs sat in his car, watching and waiting. As he had done every night since Tony had been released from the hospital.